LOOKING BACK, LOOKING FORWARD

LOOKING BACK, LOOKING FORWARD

I’m sitting in my home office this morning looking out on a lightly snow dusted lawn. Last night was to have been “snowmageddon” as the weather person predicted. And this morning, thankfully, the winds shifted and a much milder version of the storm has occurred.

I’m also thinking about the final lesson in a course I’m designing on Change. I've been on an 8-week journey with 7 lovely people who believed that I offered something that they wanted to learn. They have been my teachers too. They have taught me what they needed to learn and have been wonderful collaborators with my Inner Guide in creating this course.

But now I'm designing the final lesson. It’s hard to believe this group is coming to a close. I have all the skills I have learned about closing, unfinished business, and letting go. And, yet there’s something different that wants to be spoken in the final lesson of this program. It’s about living in the space that’s neither in the past, nor in the future. It’s about being so totally and completely present, that the past no longer defines us and we become empowered to co-create our future…and we write the stories of our lives from a whole new perspective.

Drawing on some of Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey’s work, we are working on our Big Assumptions. These big, bad assumptions are often core beliefs that operate unconsciously in our lives. They’re fear-based and they are our Protectors. Misguided, perhaps, but Protectors none the less.

These Big Assumptions (or perhaps you recognize this as a rule like “I’ll never allow myself to be seen as incompetent) were often created during a time in our lives when we had few choices about how to cope with overwhelming and unfamiliar events. Because they have become unconscious, even if the specific situation during which they were created no longer exists, this Big Assumption (or rule) may still be operating in our lives.

Once we've made these Big Assumptions conscious we have choices. But here’s something else that I've learned. Sometimes we don’t become aware of these assumptions until later in our adult life. As we’re untangling what we want to keep from what we don’t need in these Big Assumptions, our minds can take us down very self-critical paths.

As we come to this juncture of choices, endings, and new beginnings in our journey, it is here that we recognize the need for a new lens on the story of our lives, the story that has brought us here to this exact moment in time. The story that has shaped who we are – but not who we are to become.

This is the work of our cohort in the weeks to come.

Donna Dale

Executive Assistant / Customer Service / Meetings and Event Planning

10 年

Thanka for sharing this Terri. So very true. Have to maintain a vast array of lenses to see clearly...all of the opportunities that exist. Wishing you the best!

Carla Oliver

Senior Learning and Development Professional

10 年

Hi Terri, thank you for sharing your journey. I wish you the very best as you finalize your change course.

Pamela Gilley

Celebrant - Personalized Memorial and Remembrance Services (Freelance)

10 年

Love this work, Terri. It's a great reminder that we need to sometimes dig for and evaluate the impact of our unknown knowns - those things within our subconscious we take for granted. To have a trusted cohort or coach can be most helpful in bringing them back to consciousness. Look forward to learning more about your Change course.

Jonathan Kirschner

Founder | CEO | Leadership Expert

10 年

Really enjoyed reading this post. Understanding our Big Assumptions and bringing them in to consciousness is where CBT meets classical psychodynamic thinking. It is a powerful cocktail for behavioral change because it addresses a person from their roots to their leaves. Wish I was on that 8 week journey :)

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Terri Altschul, PCC的更多文章

  • 7 Ways to Get the Most from Working with a Coach

    7 Ways to Get the Most from Working with a Coach

    I’ve been coaching for more than ten years and have seen great strides in the range of reasons companies choose to hire…

    1 条评论
  • Art Journaling + Coaching Unlocks Our Inner World

    Art Journaling + Coaching Unlocks Our Inner World

    In 2015 I stumbled upon (as the Universe so often helps us!) the wonderfully creative world of visual/art journaling. I…

    1 条评论
  • STart Journaling

    STart Journaling

    Experience the intersection of Coaching + Art Journaling with 7 days of creative ideas. A FREE email course with one…

  • 5 Ways to Support Other Women at Work

    5 Ways to Support Other Women at Work

    As women, we need each other's help and support more than ever. Whether this is at work or in the community, as women…

    1 条评论
  • Journaling Activity for the New Year!

    Journaling Activity for the New Year!

    Thank you for following Women Connected and all that you do to support the rise of the Feminine on our planet! As we…

  • Job Crafting

    Job Crafting

    SELF-COACHING EXERCISE: JOB CRAFTING I came across this exercise today and realized that I have been doing this for…

  • The Inner Journey of Art Journaling

    The Inner Journey of Art Journaling

    "It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than choose to take the dull pain of…

  • We Can Build Each Other Up and It Can Change Us Forever

    We Can Build Each Other Up and It Can Change Us Forever

    Melissa called me one day and told me there was a job opportunity I’d be a good fit for. She knew my former boss and…

    2 条评论
  • 9 Reasons Why You Should Consider Group Coaching

    9 Reasons Why You Should Consider Group Coaching

    Have you wanted a coach to gain more clarity and self-growth in your life but found the costs to be prohibitive? For…

  • Coaching and Expressive Arts: Going Deeper Than Words

    Coaching and Expressive Arts: Going Deeper Than Words

    "Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks…

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了