Look for goodness in people and not drawbacks

Let me share a teaching by Abdul-Baha, Interpreter and Centre of the Covenant of the Baha’i Faith. He says if a person has 10 bad qualities, and only one good quality, then pay attention only to the one good quality and forget the 10 bad qualities. Now, if a person has 10 good qualities, and only one bad quality, pay attention only to the 10 qualities and forget the one bad quality. People are usually conditioned to focus only on the bad in others. A non-Baha’i colleague of mine liked this teaching so much that she tried to incorporate it in her life. She said it was not easy, but she succeeded somewhat. I have been a Baha’i for 41 years and I still have not perfected it.

You no need to see good in others…As the saying goes beauty lies in the eyes of beholder.so basically if you're good the whole world seems to be good…The question also depends upon how others behave with you or others. See their smiles, their innocence , their love and care, their respect towards the country, their honesty, their love towards their parents and if you are able to perceive all these intangible aspects…then you are able to see good in others!!!

Start by seeing the good in yourself. Everyday pick a time to quietly say out loud what you are grateful for that day. Be it large or small. Then say what you find good about yourself be it large or small. Then pick anyone even a stranger and say what you appreciate and/or find good in then be it large or small. It may have been a simple smile given. Use benefit of the doubt and don't judge harshly, we are all selfish humans after all. Start reaching out to people with good intentions to make them feel good. Use words of gratitude genuinely, smile genuinely, share genuinely. Soon you will start noticing that positive energy is coming back to you. You will start noticing good in people, but most importantly you will see yourself as a catalyst in that process.

But you have to understand the duality of the good and bad in people, in my opinion. Everybody has some good and some bad in them. Everyone is not completely good or bad. There’s more to it too, like, sometimes someone’s bad can become your good. For example, someone breaking a rule to help you was to your benefit even though they potentially did something “immoral”. So, once you see that people/everyone has a good and bad side, you can choose to say, “I like you despite your flaws.” You can say things like, “Well, you’re kind of a jerk, but I know that you’re not all bad.”

I’ve made friends with guys who were “childish”, but I personally felt they were okay guys deep down. You have to understand too that sometimes people make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Part of this idea is too you have to be able to forgive people when they do mean or bad things. You can’t just automatically write someone off because they did something you didn’t like. Although, there are limits. Another aspect of this too is, you have to be able to see the meaning behind people’s actions, their intentions, and the weight of what they do. Someone calls your wife pretty.

Ok. Well, he was just trying to be nice and give her a compliment. He wasn’t trying to steal her away from you. In fact, he respects relationships and didn’t know she was in one. To them, it was a light compliment. It didn’t mean much. He’s been telling tons of women that lately, even though he meant it every time. Is that person a bad person? (I am that person by the way.) Fundamentally, it starts with your mindset and viewpoint. You are either an optimist (seeing things in a positive light) or a pessimist (seeing things in a negative light) or a little bit of both on a case-by-case basis.

The way you learn to see the good within people is that you sit down an write down their good points (Positive Personality Adjectives List) and their negative points (Negative Personality Adjectives List) and decide which ones are important to you and which ones you can overlook. Practice stressing the positive over the negative. Caveat: Sometimes your impression of another person says more about you than it does that other person. So consider carefully when condemning or ranking another person. Cheers!