A look back at 2023.

2023 has been one of the strangest years ever. When I look back at it rationally, none of it makes sense. And at the same time everything does.

In 2023 I have fallen madly in love just to discover that he was not the one 6 months later. I have left a well-paying job with colleagues that I loved. I have booked random trips, talked to strangers and almost bought a piece of land for a Thai monk (long story). I have gotten rid of almost all of my belongings, nearly sold my house and impulsively bought an iPad (I'm sure it will be useful at some point). I have had a full spectrum of irrational emotions - including anger and fears. I have made mistakes and I have hurt people that I love. I have slept in a tent in France in October (bad idea!) and almost set free a horse at an Egyptian farm. I have gotten lost in the desert (surprisingly easy!), I have hitchhiked with a stranger and I have blamed a Buddha statue for the injustice that women can't be monks (turns out it's possible, just not in Thailand).

All in all, 2023 has been the most chaotic year of my life. And in its imperfection, it has been perfect.

Because it has also been the year where I inspired the most people, where I smiled at the most at strangers, where I have experienced unwavering kindness and forgiveness, where I shared at my most vulnerable and where I deepened the bonds with existing friendships and discovered new ones. Where I tried everything and succeeded at nothing. Where I reconnected, disconnected and stayed connected. Where I struggled, laughed, cried and shouted at people.

It's been one of the years where I felt the most free to just be me. To just be. And where I've embraced myself in my own imperfection.

I think deep down, coming from an Austrian background, I have always been afraid of making mistakes. Not being perfect. Not being good enough for the people around me. I have held myself to standards of always being responsible and rational. Doing the right thing.

But the truth is, none of us have ever figured it all out. All of us are lost, confused or irrational sometimes. All of us have their inner child acting up every now and again and lashing out at others. And that's okay. Because that makes us human.

I have no idea what this year will bring, but my wish for 2024 is more compassion in this world. More tolerance for imperfection and mildness and kindness to ourselves - for that will be reflected in how we interact with each other. Here's to an irrational 2024.