Longevity Planning, Retirement, And Women: Who's Got Her Back?

Picture this: A couple excitedly plans for their retirement years together. But here's the kicker – they often miss a crucial piece of the puzzle. Women typically outlive men; that extra time isn't just about stretching dollars. It's a whole new chapter of life with its challenges and opportunities. So, who's looking out for her long after couples pickleball is over?

The CDC tells us that in 2022, women were expected to live to 80.2 years, while men trailed at 74.8. By 65, women are likely to have another 21 years ahead, compared to men's 18. And since women tend to be at least a couple of years younger than their spouses, we're talking about women living nearly a decade of solo living.

The takeaway? It's time to plan for two retirements – one as a couple and one for her.

Meet Essie, a 77-year-old widow from Baltimore. After losing her husband of over 50 years, she found herself in uncharted territory. "It's a whole other life I never imagined," she confides. Essie's story isn't unique – countless women face what we might call a second retirement, a phase that begins when their partner passes.

This second act isn't necessarily about globe-trotting, endless leisure, or even full-time grandparenting. It's a time when financial resources may dwindle, social circles shrink, and health issues multiply. Suddenly, all those shared tasks – from grocery runs to home maintenance – fall on one set of shoulders. Yet, despite these challenges, few couples actively prepare for her solo life.

Academics and industry researchers often report that women have inadequate financial literacy. While women might lag in financial literacy, they have a better grasp of longevity. A TIAA study found that 43% of women answered life expectancy questions correctly, compared to 32% of men. Surya Kolluri, head of TIAA Institute, suggests this might be due to women's traditional role in family healthcare decisions.

But knowing you'll live longer isn't the same as being ready for it. Couples need to gear up for not one but two retirements. The second one – often faced alone by women – is likely to be the most expensive and complex. We're talking about potential caregiving costs, escalating healthcare needs, and the need for various support services.

The game changes when a lifetime of teamwork becomes a solo act. Even with a healthy nest egg, navigating the maze of services and finding trustworthy providers can be overwhelming.

Some might suggest the traditional solution—adult children caring for mom. Perhaps. However, adult children are increasingly likely to live at a distance, be busy, be crunched between kids and careers, or otherwise be unable to provide the daily support moms may need.

So, what's the game plan? It's time for couples, adult children, financial product manufacturers, advisors, and employers to have candid conversations, produce serious product innovations, and take urgent action.

Couples must face the hard reality that one is likely to be left alone. Longevity planning requires more than simply having the money to ensure financial security; it requires identifying the places, people, and services she will want and need in advanced age. That means putting into place what is necessary for her financial security, establishing access to reliable home services, and identifying the care she might need down the road.

Adult children should be invited to the conversation to learn what their parents want and what they may need. Moreover, adult children should honestly assess their financial, physical, and emotional capacity to provide care should she need it, before she needs it. If there is a gap between capacity and needs, it is better to identify the gaps before the need arises than in a crisis.

Financial services firms and advisors must assess how well their products and services meet the needs of women—a mere 51% of the population. What products (annuities, insurance, etc.) might be better designed, described, and distributed to fit her unique needs, providing stable lifetime income in later life and flexible enough to respond to the financial shocks often accompanying advanced age, such as major health events, skilled nursing care, etc.?

Financial advisors can serve a critical role by facilitating these sensitive conversations. Planning discussions should include urging couples to discuss possible scenarios and guiding clients to do more than envision the possibilities but to prepare for the highly likely inevitability. For those who do not have a financial advisor, employer retirement seminars should include content that helps those nearing retirement or younger employees providing care to older loved ones to anticipate the needs of an aging family member living solo.

Longevity planning is about more than planning for financial security in retirement. It is about anticipating, planning, and preparing for the highly dynamic, often volatile, needs and wants that arise in older age. A couple, by definition, is defined as two people who typically plan for their retirement together. That is one retirement plan. She will likely have a second retirement, which will likely be a solo act; let’s be sure we all have her back and prepare for her second retirement.

Want to learn more? Follow me on LinkedIn @drjoecoughlin and share and subscribe to my newsletter, #LongevityEconomy, as I explore the impact of changing demographics and behavior on business, government, and society.

An earlier version of this article was published in Forbes.