(Long) Stories of Life, Books and Resilience

Hey y’all - long time no talk, loads happened so grab a cuppa so we have a heart-to-heart - (if you subscribe to both newsletters you'll see this in two copies, apologies, but I assure you that it will be back to different (and hopefully less personal and dramatic!) content next week.

The (Personal) Elephant In the Room

Let me remove elephants from the room first: I know you may have read some of the craziness of how our lives momentarily imploded when our life choices, identity and courage of opinion met a 1-out-of-10-do-not-recommend level of a system of law and civil society at large in the UK. It is of course not the first time my life does any such thing and those that have known me for years know I overcame a bunch of other major life challenges but this one in particular nearly floored me. It is not over and it is immensely hard to be battling a custody and financial legal battle in the background whilst putting up a brave face at work but hopefully it’s safe now and we can start putting it all behind us and wondering how to stop others from going through the same things. ?

Enterprise wise - PeopleNotTech moved its HQ to Europe and Spanish and Malta operations have been created with some amazing new humans who joined us over the past few months, investors and colleagues who are as diverse as us and we can go the distance with. As a company, the move could not have been smarter (why have we remained after Brexit anyhow?!?) or swifter due to how we were already European, remote and global.?

As humans, we have a ways to go. Thanks to those who helped, asked and/or empathized. I am genuinely lucky to be surrounded by an amazing team of humans (from our investors to family and employees!) who have helped me, Dave and our kiddos immensely, but I am also going to put my hands up and admit I am processing it actively and publicly as THIS is real life, pretending we are not humans in the background is what got us masses of Human Debt. Here are my processing streams:

• Being Autistic - The Neurodivergence piece - this is perhaps the one I had most trouble processing as it has to do with the lived experience of late-or-never diagnosed Autistic and ADHD leaders in business and all its industries. What does being autistic of ADHD (often in secret!) mean for authenticity, what that means for the singular and the common lived experience and why is there any #AutismStigma at work? How do we “old guard” feel to know we had no provision whilst the new wave of Neurodiverse employees are well versed in asking for their adaptations if diagnosed? How prepared are we as a society for there being 1 in potentially every 3 adults that are non-neuro-typical? So I started a podcast called NeuroSpicy@Work www.neurospicyatwork.com and I am exploring all these questions in it with the help of amazing guests who know a lot more about the topic than just my own experience of being AuADHD and that of most of our team. There is SO much that needs exploring there in terms of understanding #MentalHealth versus and in context of #NeuroDiversity and understanding what it means for us in Technology that I am very excited to continue that work and understand what makes structures (be they those of the state or of enterprises) be permeated by lack of EQ and compassion and what we can do to change that fast for our kids;

• Being Parents of Diverse Kids in This Day and Age - Speaking of our kids - after our odious experience of having been outed as the parents of trans kids in our custody battle, we were thrust into the forefront of fighting for the rights of diverse youth of all kind but in particular those who need to forge or understand gender identity. We realized that there is a huge underserved segment of us parents of adolescents and youths who struggle with big life questions, and being their supporter and ally is harder than ever so we have started the Tears of Dopamine Foundation to try and join the fight to make a difference. Our members are queer and NeuroSpicy, diverse in beautiful ways, we make objects and art in rage-painting events that double as anti-burnout events and we sell them to donate half the proceeds to Mermaids UK and Stonewall. Go check out the shop at www.tearsofdopamine.com and the Podcast at tearsofdopamine.transistor.fm Please come join us, because with the exception of a brand new “Dads” documentary on Netflix there’s precious little out there about what dillemas we struggle with, whilst the world and its freedoms is closing in on our kids. Dave and I will accept any pro-bono engagements to talk about our experiences as Techies who are Parents of Trans Kids this year so get in touch.

• The trauma bit - It needs addressing. Here and to ourselves because who would I be if I claimed we are unblemished after such a time when there were physical and emotional attacks on us? We are now a "trauma informed" team in People Not Tech. But we're better and healing. We aren’t “cured” of course, but it is nothing short of miraculous what intentional consistency, therapy, sleep, food, meditation and loads of love and sun can do and we are mending. New schools have been started, new teams have been built, new beginnings are beautifully unfolding and we are starting to breathe in and process at leisure. For full transparency (of which there is not enough these days as we each carry our own life dramas in absolute secrecy as if we promised only our professional mask to the world and the Man no matter what!) I am nursing severe PTSD, Dave is recouping from Autistic Burnout and his suicide attempt and our teams are reeling after having supported us and our kids through this. But we are all mending fast and thriving already which upsets some of the still active players of our nightmare and at times, we have to regroup to think how to protect our work and business from them and then we have to spend huge resources on legal but hey, we’ll squeeze all the Lemonade lessons. All of us. Eventually. Not boxing away any “feels” though, we’ll all process everything in time in our own way. My processing aside from therapy? I’m writing. Turns out you don’t need 10 good fingers to keep doing so!:) It’s a Tell-All or Memoire -both of which are pretentious AF names for a lifelong blog, don’t you find?) and here’s an extract meant to convey how I feel about this odious life episode, it’s a very rough draft, I didn’t even re-read it yet, some of it is too painful but It will be my first foray in non-business and fiction and it’s exhilarating and refreshing!?

Minor By the By: I Wrote the "Tech Led Culture” Book and I Forgot to Tell You About It

Speaking of the times before the trauma and the enforced social activism, last year I wrote a book and “forgot to tell you all about it” :) as it was at a time when our lives were exploding too hard for me to keep you updated https://peoplenottech.com/about-us/the-tech-led-culture-book/ ?

If I’m honest, what not only humbled me, but also provided me with enough dopamine about the book to allow me this long of a procrastination window about selling it (every author's dread if we’re honest!) is that I have had the honor of having? Prof Dr Emeritus Ron Westrum critique it and laud it. To me, the book should postulate that there is good hope technology could lead the way for business to see the need of humanizing because of the need for agility- so please purchase and read it from Amazon here ?

So let’s chuck this failed book launch to #GirlBossProblemsInclBabyRaindeerEpisodes but don’t punish the book, take Ron’s word for it instead of mine -

“Duena Blomstrom’s book TECH-LED CULTURE is a key to opening up and working with human beings in technology-driven organizations.? She addresses the major issues that face technology leaders, including work in hybrid and complex environments, balancing work and home life, and above all providing workers with choices to make them both safe and productive.? She illustrates her points with telling examples from her own consulting experience as well as an array of small and large organizations across many cultures.? If you want to lead organizations with generative cultures, this book will provide much of the fine detail that you need to uplift morale and provide satisfying work.“

Making Software and Humanizing for and with Healing and High Performing Teams?

Software wise as we never stop doing our daily work to help teams become even better at www.peoplenottech.com , even better news - we worked out what times we are living in and listened to our existent customers and prospective ones and we worked on a special edition of the software that offers a “Culture and DEI Snapshot ” to any team who needs to take the pulse of their genuine feelings (think ISO and FCA!) on these important topics that works independently of all other systems and departments.

Maybe even more importantly, just as we designed the “Stay Connected” popular questions pack that our clients used during the Pandemic to keep their teams connected emotionally and socially, we created a post-pandemic equivalent to deal with a new and even more pressing problem: burnout and declining mental health of the team and we have packaged it alongside two emergency Plays (first one downloads at checkout so you can start working on reversing your team’s burnout today!) and a snapshot report you’ll receive later together with the recommendation play in our BurnOut-Prevention Kit.

Aside from these emergency measures, kit your team with the space, the knowledge and the permission and ability to talk about emotions, interactions and their dynamic by getting them to use our Team Dashboard and either email us for a demo and a conversation if you're in a position to help change in your organisation or at least buy it for your own team only and not wait for HR or powers that be by going to 30 Days Humanizing Boost on our website.

Excitingly, there is now also a Spanish version for our software currently being polished by our teams in Malaga and Palo Alto so get in touch if the lack of Spanish -and soon Japanese and French!) was what was holding your teams back from doing all the Humanizing work!

A less than travelled road for us ahead as well- we're working on an “Where Should “D” Go?” Documentary that includes our very own Baby Raindeer episode as well but more importantly, widens the lens over the “belongability of neurospicy individuals in the world”. Filming and categorising content whilst working with the producers to try out new and open to diversity locations is instensive but a lot of fun so far!

Then, as I mentioned above most of our #WorkTv Podcasts are back and we’ve added episodes to “People AND Tech” and “Developer Insights” but also published “Tears of Dopamine” - a modern day Free Europe radio version of a platform for parents and allies of trans youth and “NeuroSpicy@Work” which tells the lived experience of NeuroDiverse leaders and professionals in the business and technology world (so get in touch with us about sponsorship for these shows!) and we are recording for an explosive season of “Tales from the FinTech Crypt” now that I noticed the FCA finally is shaking the regulatory tree to see and accuse the lack of action on Psychological Safety in financial firms conduct! “#EmotionalBanking my behind!:)” is the name of an upcoming episode!

Lastly, if most excitingly to my newly awakened colour artist, we made physical stuff like I was mentioning above! Hand painted and upcycled objects of art made with and supporting NeuroSpicy and Queer people at www.tearsofdopamine.com and we’re buzzing to grow the much needed work of “Colouring the world emotional” to share the proceeds with Mermaids UK and Stonewall.

So yeah we’ve been busy but it’s good, light and happy-busy, we call it “Nu mor caii cand vor cainii” - a Romanian saying encompassing resilience and grit- and not the “trying to stay alive despite being under constant attack” busy that we have sadly had for the last few years during our horrendous personal circumstances when the system failed to protect us.??

Read this newsletter next week so we tell you about the story of the BurnOut Prevention Kit creation, living in the sun and adapting to siestas and how some of our teams in Spain avoided a collective meltdown by using one!

Oh and if you read all this and have seen the death threats we had, and the police brutality and the press releases and were worried and if you genuinely cared from the heart even if you did not get in touch?? We know who you are (and who you are not, stop reading these, do something constructive with your life instead!) and we felt you, it helped us access that darn grit so THANK YOU back to Psychologically Safe work.

- Duena, Dave and the People Not Tech Team

??Listen to #WorkTV ’s Podcasts on all major platforms to hear more:?

????????????The “people AND tech” Podcast ????????????

?????? NeuroSpicy at Work hosted by Duena Blomstrom

????????♀?Developer Insights with Dave Bally and Tech Guests

?? Tears of Dopamine - For and By Queer & NeuroSpicy Allies and Parents

?? ???Secret Society of HumanWork Advocates and? Human Debt Fighters with Allessandria Polizzi

??????????Married to Tech with Dana and Bryan Finster and Tracy and Bob Bannon

?? See more from #WorkTV on TikTok and YouTube:

“?? “Chasing Psychological Safety” Channel

?? “TheFutureIsAgile” Channel

?????? ???“Tales from the… FinTech Crypt” Channel

Buy Tears of Dopamine Fashion and Art at: www.tearsofdopamine.com ?

Find Duena’s latest Book on how Tech has influenced Culture? at

https://peoplenottech.com/about-us/the-tech-led-culture-book/

??????Buy our Team Psychological Safety and High-Performance Dashboard at www.peoplenottech.com/solutions

For Humanizing engagements with Duena such as keynotes, private corporate events, board briefing, as well as for TV and media inquiries email [email protected] or [email protected]