Long Road Ahead - Again...

Hey Sonos,

Firstly, sorry for my absence, I'll explain. This photo was taken during my time throughout COVID in the central wheatbelt, on my daily 2 hour walk. I did this for the love of it, but also for rehabilitation; both mentally and physically. What I didn't mention in my previous newsletters, is that in the November before COVID, I'd had major hip surgery for a femoral neck mass that was rendering me unable to walk. I was at the point that I was having to scan patients whilst on crutches. I refused surgery initially as I was told it was low risk for malignancy. I soon realised I wasn't getting better, only worse, and it was affecting my livelihood. Also, my orthopaedic oncologist said it was surgery, or risk of pathological fracture, possible avascular necrosis and a full hip replacement.

Even though young and reasonably fit and having a positive mindset, my recovery was lengthy and exhausting.

Why bring all this up? Well, I just found out in March (2023) that the mass had returned. I was just walking across my driveway heading out for work when severe pain in my groin made me stop in my tracks, unable to weight bear at all. After 4 days of no improvement and bed rest, I went to my GP and they sent me straight to emergency, where all was revealed pretty quickly. A cortical breech from the recurring mass. Luckily, looking benign once more, but unfortunately requiring yet more surgery (as it occupied at least 50% of my femoral neck). Mentally and physically, I did not feel up to the task at all. I had been quite sedentary, falling into the depression of the day to day grind that is normal life for most, but torture for a nomad like me.

So very long story short, I am now 3 weeks post surgery! I had the mass removed, which was just a pesky bone cyst, but in the worst location. This time I had a bone graft using my own bone harvested from my pelvis, my old screw removed and a fancy new lightweight dynamic hip screw hip implanted to make my hip as strong as possible. Two incisions; anterior approach and lateral approach. I was very fortunate to have two amazing orthopaedic surgeons work on my hip/pelvis (well 3 in total if you count my first surgeon who also assisted in planning the surgery from interstate). They did an amazing job: at 3 weeks I am now weight bearing without crutches and doing daily physiotherapy at home and even on my exercise bike already doing 10 minutes a day on low resistance.

I was in a dark place in hospital after the surgery, vomiting and unable to eat, my body not coping with all the medications and the general and spinal block. For 5 days in that hospital bed, I was a mess. I'm sad to say I wasn't strong or brave, I was feeling sorry for myself and unable to bear the thought of all the rehab. Once the painkillers were reduced I could think more clearly, and I lay there thinking how lucky I am that this isn't bone cancer. I cried and cried for those who aren't as lucky as me and felt ashamed about my self pity. I felt relief wash over me and a new sense of determination.

Now, I'm feeling more positive, but I've had to make some hard decisions. I had to quit my part time job doing mobile radiology in aged care and home visits for those with mobility issues. I was devastated. My boss was amazing and kind and everything you want in a boss, and the role offered amazing flexibility and work-life balance. However, I realised that lifting the ultrasound equipment in/out of the car and leaning over the elderly in their beds was going to be nearly impossible for a while. And, in the long term, probably not great putting so much pressure on my traumatised hip.

So now what? I am currently unemployed and feeling somewhat vulnerable... But, I am also feeling liberated and free again! It's what my locum life gave me that I've missed so much, freedom. So for now, it's daily rehab and focusing on my mental and physical health. Everything else will come into focus once I feel like me again. I'm lucky to have my comrades in my online community and to have their support throughout both of my surgeries and during COVID. During these times, I like to focus on what I can do to help the trainees in my group, with offering mentorship and advice. I think of ways I can utilise my online platform to help other sonographers progress in their careers and be happy in their workplace. And I try to practice what I preach: adapt!