Long, rambling questions are diminishing your authority
Chris Marr
Client communication expert. Stop people pleasing, challenge your clients, & be indispensable. Working with business professionals to help them go from good to great & have breakthrough conversations with their clients.
One of the challenges coaches-in-training must overcome is asking long, rambling questions.
When the coach does more of the talking, it slows the pace of the conversation, and the client gets frustrated, bored, and tunes out.
Worse, you diminish your authority. You look like you don’t know what you’re doing, and the client begins to question the value you bring.
We don’t want this, so why do we do it?
We believe that asking a question, without explaining why, is rude, disrespectful, or bullish.
We are afraid of pissing people off.
And we overcome that fear by justifying what we are about to ask — we ‘run up’ to the question.
We make it about ourselves, rather than the client.
The thing is, many of us have spent a lifetime having to explain ourselves to people.
It’s become a habit. That habit stops today.
You do not need to continually justify or explain yourself.
Ironically, it’s the long rambling questions that are more likely to piss your client off.
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Ask yourself: What is the shortest possible question that moves the conversation forward and maintains a sense of purpose?
Here’s a list of short questions and phrases to add to your coaching toolbox:
Shorter questions are specific, punchy, clear, and hard to avoid.
Shorter questions increase your authority and make you a better coach.
As ever, it’s over to you now to work on your self-awareness to catch yourself when you are justifying your question — bite your tongue, and ask a shorter question.
Report back on the difference it makes to your coaching conversations :)?
DFTBA!
Chris.
PS.?If you'd like a weekly letter and more coaching resources/tips from me, go ahead and?subscribe to my weekly letter ?that lands in your inbox every Thursday.
Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash
Midlife Coach | Live a more fun [and happier] life by intentionalizing it
1 年I've come to accept that at my level of coaching, sometimes I need to stop and start the question over with, "Forget all that, this is the question:<tighter_question>" And then I make a mental note to take another breath next time. Someday I hope to get to the breath sooner.
I help construction and B2B software companies solve marketing and sales challenges.
1 年Chris, are you talking to me? ?? every time I feel myself start to ramble on when asking a question, I hear you say exactly that in my head! Working on it!