Long Live THE SPLEEN!

Recently I showed my kids the fine 1999 film Mystery Men. As you may know, this movie tells the story of an underdog group of superheroes? each with a uniquely subtle superpower. I consider movies like this to be a seminal part of my kid's education. Obviously.

THE BLAME THROWER

You may recall that among the Mystery Men's non-lethal arsenal of crime-fighting tools is the Blame Thrower. This marvel of superhero technology instantly incapacitates any target by making them go into a tirade of blaming everybody in sight. You definitely don't want to get hit by a blame thrower.

IS IT MY FAULT?

When one messes up - it's really important to own it. After all, it's never the scandal, it's the cover-up.

However, I often see people erring toward the other end of the spectrum. That is,?they automatically and immediately go into defense mode? regardless of whether the blame coming their way is warranted.

In other words, "it's my fault" is their default, especially when they're surrounded by a lot of blame thrower wielding colleagues.

GET CURIOUS

The next time somebody comes at you with a blame thrower - before you go into defense mode - take a moment to ask, "is this actually my fault?"

If you're out of integrity with something you agreed to do - then of course own it. Apologize, do what you need to do to clean it up.

On the other hand, if somebody comes at you about something you never agreed to, then there's an opportunity to get curious. You can ask a question I learned from Godfather of Coaching Steve Chandler: "what agreement has been broken here?"

They don't have an answer?? Let them know that while you'll be marking all that blame return-to-sender???, they can count on your willingness to work with them to co-create some?solutions to tackle the challenge at hand.?

When it comes to blame throwers, curiosity is a great defense.?

Your Fault Is Not the Default, Eric