LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS - KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE!

"You and I, we're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky"

These fireworks and symphonies come so naturally when you fondle with his/her fingers over dinner dates every time you all have a heart to heart. The homely feeling that hugs you when his arms caress you on movie nights, the heavenly bliss you experience when you take a moment from that belly laughter to realize how happy you are to be in that moment with this person you love so much. The magic feels so REAL. But how do we experience these little time-to-time pieces of heaven in a long-distance relationship? Pickup lines and virtual video times won’t do enough for us to feel the same highs we did in a normal relationship, and not all of us are like Shawn Mendes to travel to Japan every time we wish to see our partner. So here are some ways to keep the fire burning and keep things interesting while the carousel’s turning.

1.  ‘Netflix- Watch party’

Pre-pick a date and the movie to let the excitement build in. Get your comfortable mode on. Even if it’s virtual, switch on the dim light and grab the large popcorn bucket. These little things unknowingly elevate the vibe, bring excitement. The intimate environment and the comfy coordinated clothes create a beautiful illusion of togetherness which is all you need to escape the reality of distance for some time.

2.  Virtual Dinner Dates

Food makes everything better, sweeter, and merrier. Doesn’t it? And what’s better than having food with your loved one! You could start the date by in fact cooking together virtually. This is your chance to put on your best outfit and show them what they are missing. No matter how old you get in a relationship, that in no way should mean you stop making efforts to impress your partner or make them feel special right? Getting flowers for your date wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Little efforts go miles in making distance easier.

3.  Indulge in each other’s hobbies together

Read each other pieces from books that you like on Saturday nights. Make fluid art pieces together. Have karaoke nights and sing your feelings out of all kinds- fun, emo, party! Doing Art together is very cathartic, builds trust and belongingness. It can create a shared grounding experience that you both will forever cherish.

4.  Game Nights

This could be arranged with shared friends/family. Sharing the same community or social environment when you are miles apart can make you feel right at home with your significant other. It creates belongingness and security. One-on-one games like taboo also improve communication in a relationship.

5.  Voice Messages >Texts

Voice messages can feel much more lively than texts can ever be. Won’t listening to the high and low frequencies of your partner’s voice make you feel more connected to them than a simple dry text message? 

 6.  Make quirky bucket lists

Distance gives you a lot of free time for yourself. Make a quirky bucket list of things you’d wish to do in this time and share it. This creates a sense of healthy autonomy and space but also makes sure you have a constant cheerleader by your side to motivate you to tick off things from the list.

Eg: Getting plants and nurturing them. Keeping a journal etc.

7.  Merge calendars/ Know each other’s schedules

This way you are never missing each other’s important days and you can also be updated with each other’s schedules rather than feeling clueless.

8.  Keep a Gratitude ritual

Be a text before going to sleep or a day of the weekend, express gratitude towards each other, towards your relationship. Be grateful for the present and making it work despite all the odds. Acknowledge and appreciate little things in one another-creatively. Be it through emails, texts, graphic cards, etc. Gratitude manifests abundance. The longing, the loneliness, the anxiety of the distance all of it turn to the feeling of gratefulness for the present.

9.  Keep a joint journal

Another wonderful way of communicating and having something to do in common is Journaling. Journaling together not only helps declutter but also builds a sense of unity, intimacy, and trust. It’s not cliché and tedious but cathartic and free-flowing- adding the fun element

10.  Learn something together

With virtual classes flourishing in the pandemic, taking up a joint yoga class or learning a language together could stimulate things and be fun! An added feeling of companionship and teamwork would only add brownie points to the spice in the relationship.

11.  Make long-distance traditions

Be as creative as you can in creating little bubbles of love, warmth, and homeliness through traditions. These traditions could be ‘your thing’. Something that’s foreign and unwelcomed territory to everyone else. Something you’d do with no one else but your partner. Like dancing together to that one song every time one has a bad day.

An article by Pranali Visaria for Heart It Out.