Lonely at Work: The Silent Killer of Greatness

Work used to be more than a paycheck. It was messy, unpredictable, and full of life. People shared gossip, dreams, failures, and the occasional stiff drink after a brutal day. Somewhere along the way, we optimized the humanity out of it. Now? We’re lonely at work, and no one wants to talk about it.

Here’s the truth: Loneliness is rotting the modern workplace from the inside out. It’s the awkward silence in your Zoom call. It’s the emptiness of your inbox after another "Thanks!" message. It’s showing up to work and feeling like no one would notice if you didn’t. We’ve traded connection for convenience, and the result? A hollow, lifeless grind that saps creativity and kills motivation.

Let’s not sugarcoat this: loneliness is a killer. It eats away at your mental health, your confidence, your spark. It creeps into your life like a hangover that doesn’t end. And the worst part? We did this to ourselves.

I started wrestling with the beast of loneliness years ago when I moved to Singapore. Imagine it: a city buzzing with life—food stalls, skyscrapers, streets alive with ambition—and me, wandering through it like a ghost. No support system. No real friends. Just the deafening sound of my own thoughts in a city that didn’t care if I was there.

Work was supposed to save me, right? I was amongst the top performers across our global business and this was my big chance to showcase that I could do it all again. That it wasn't just a fluke. My days were packed with meetings and targets, but it all felt like acting in someone else’s play. Transactional emails. Half-hearted handshakes. Conversations that felt like cardboard. I wasn’t living; I was existing.

One day, it hit me: If I didn’t do something, I’d drown. So, I started building my own community— I flew my hockey equipment out and joined a league (yes, there is hockey in Singapore), saying yes to random coffee invites, even showing up at events I had no business attending. And you know what? It worked. Those late-night talks over whiskey and those spontaneous, unplanned moments of connection—they saved me. They reminded me what it meant to feel alive.

The Loneliness Epidemic: A Quiet Disaster

Let’s zoom out. This isn’t just about me, necessarily. It's about all of us. This is a full-blown epidemic. Research shows that loneliness at work is as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Think about that. And it’s not just workers who suffer—loneliness cripples teams, crushes creativity, and torpedoes productivity. It’s a silent disaster, and no one’s holding the fire extinguisher.

I've now worked remotely for 8 years (I was an early adopter, pre-covid). Here’s the kicker: this isn’t an accident. We designed workplaces to be this way. Remote work, endless video calls, and overengineered “communication tools” are part of the problem. We’ve turned work into a transaction, a series of soulless interactions where connection is an afterthought.

Slack doesn’t fix this. Neither does a Zoom happy hour where everyone’s pretending they’d rather be there than anywhere else. What’s missing is humanity, spontaneity, and, dare I say it, fun.

Coworking: A Glimmer of Hope

Earlier this year, I attended GCUC—the Global Coworking Unconference Conference—in Salt Lake City, and it was a revelation. It reminded me just how essential face-to-face interaction really is. Don’t get me wrong—I’m a big believer in remote work, flexibility, and designing our work lives on our own terms. But there’s no substitute for the energy of being in a room with other people. If loneliness is the disease, coworking spaces are part of the antidote. These spaces buzz with creativity, connection, and genuine human interaction. Step into a thriving coworking space, and you’ll see it firsthand—people sharing ideas, grabbing coffee, and actually enjoying each other’s company. It’s rare in today’s workplace, but it’s exactly what we need to bring life and meaning back into the way we work. Here’s why coworking works:

• Serendipity Happens: Real connection doesn’t come from scheduled meetings. It comes from spontaneous chats over coffee or a random lunch with someone working on something completely different from you.
• No Hierarchy BS: In coworking spaces, no one cares about your job title. It’s a level playing field where ideas matter more than org charts.
• Diversity Fuels Energy: Coworking attracts people from all walks of life. Freelancers, entrepreneurs, small teams—they all bring something different to the table. It’s the opposite of corporate monoculture.
• Belonging Without Bureaucracy: There’s no HR mandate to "build culture." It just happens—naturally, organically, the way it’s supposed to.

Fixing Traditional Workplaces: Stop the Madness

I left Singapore in 2019, and since then, my life and work have evolved in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Today, my businesses are fully remote, and I travel full-time (along with a few of my team members), working from coworking spaces all over the world. From futuristic hubs in Dubai to serene hideaways in Bali to detailed locales of New York, I’ve seen firsthand how these spaces ignite collaboration and creativity. Each coworking space has its own unique rhythm, but they all share one essential trait: they bring people together. These aren’t just places to work—they’re ecosystems where ideas collide, connections are forged, and businesses thrive. And the thing is: companies of all sizes can embrace this model. Whether it’s giving employees the freedom to work from dynamic coworking spaces or using them as team-building hubs, the potential for innovation and growth is enormous. The key is embracing flexibility while creating opportunities for connection because when people feel inspired and supported, their work transcends the ordinary.

Not everyone can work out of a coworking space, but that doesn’t mean traditional workplaces are doomed. The problem is culture, and culture can be rebuilt. But it’s going to take guts. Here’s where to start:

1. Kill the Transactional BS

Stop treating people like cogs in a machine. Productivity matters, sure, but people aren’t productivity tools—they’re human beings with ideas, frustrations, and dreams. If you want a team that gives their best, you’ve got to create space for real, human moments.

Start small: Build time into the week for actual conversations that go beyond deadlines and deliverables. Ask people how they’re doing—not just how the project is coming along. Celebrate the little victories, not just the big wins. That project that got shipped out on time? Toast to it. Someone crushed their presentation? Acknowledge it publicly. Even better, make time for informal gatherings—grab a beer after work, order pizza for a team lunch, or organize something fun, like a trivia night.

These aren’t distractions; they’re investments. When you treat people as more than just what’s on their to-do list, you foster trust, loyalty, and engagement. It’s not “nice to have”—it’s essential for building a team that thrives.

2. Bring People Together

Let’s face it: Remote work is here to stay, and that’s a good thing. But there’s one undeniable downside—it can make people feel like islands (in fact some of my team do live on small little islands!). You can only stare at someone’s pixelated face in a Zoom meeting for so long before it all starts to feel mechanical. People need to connect in the real world, to shake hands, share a laugh, or work shoulder-to-shoulder.

The solution? Be intentional about bringing your team together. Host offsites where the focus isn’t just on strategy but on building relationships. Plan coworking days where team members can work together in a dynamic space, share ideas, and rediscover the magic of collaboration. Even casual meetups, like a coffee morning or a lunch in the park, can work wonders for morale. And don’t make everything about work; sometimes, the best connections are formed during activities completely unrelated to the job. This is especially true for the younger generation. Some of the best relationships and memories you have will be inside jokes, the long Friday lunches, and the laughs with coworkers.

The bottom line is this: People need to see each other (really see each other) to feel connected. Make it happen.

3. Rethink the Workspace

Let’s be honest: Most offices suck. They’re cold, lifeless spaces designed for efficiency, not inspiration. They feel more like morgues than places where creativity is supposed to thrive. If you want people to actually enjoy coming to work, you’ve got to rethink the environment, and no it doesn't mean ping-pong tables and nap rooms, although those ideas are not all terrible.

Create spaces where conversations and collaboration happen naturally. Open lounges where people can brainstorm over a cup of coffee. Shared kitchens that encourage casual chats. Quiet nooks for focused work. Think less “cubicle farm” and more “living room for innovators.” Even better, take cues from exceptional coworking spaces—they’ve nailed the balance between work and community. Add plants, art, or even a bookshelf. Make it a place where people want to spend time, not just somewhere they’re obligated to show up. Over the course of my travels I've taken thousands of photos of amazing spaces, globally. It even inspires me to design my own living room and office someday.

Your office (or virtual equivalent) is more than just a workspace—it’s an extension of your company culture. Build it with that in mind, and you’ll see the difference.

4. Lead Like You Care

Leadership isn’t just about hitting targets or delivering results. It’s about creating an environment where people feel seen, valued, and supported. If you’re a leader, stop hiding behind your title or your calendar. Step up and lead with empathy, because connection starts with you.

Ask your team how they’re really doing and really listen to the answers. Not the superficial, “I’m fine” responses, but the real stuff. Are they overwhelmed? Excited? Struggling? Take the time to notice when someone needs extra support, and don’t be afraid to offer it.

Empathy also means being transparent and approachable. Share your own challenges and victories as this makes you relatable and builds trust. And remember: Leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room; it’s about creating space for others to shine. Recognize your team’s strengths, give them credit, and show them you appreciate their efforts.

If you want a connected, thriving team, it starts at the top. Your actions set the tone, so lead with care, authenticity, and purpose. Connection isn’t a task—it’s a way of being. And when you get it right, it transforms everything.

The Future of Work Is Human (So Stop Screwing It Up)

Here’s the thing about loneliness: It’s not just a work problem. It’s a life problem. And it’s up to us humans to fix it. Work doesn’t have to feel like solitary confinement. It can be vibrant, messy, and full of life again. It should be.

The future of work isn’t just about being productive; it’s about being human. It’s about building teams that thrive because they care about each other, not because of KPIs or efficiency metrics. People aren’t just assets on a spreadsheet—they’re the heart and soul of what makes any company great. And if you’re not prioritizing connection, you’re already behind.

Here’s my take: stop building teams like assembly lines. Build them like a sports team. A team that you fight for, celebrate with, and lean on when things get tough. Hire people who aren’t afraid to challenge the status quo. Invest in their growth, their well-being, and yes, their happiness. Because happy, connected people don’t just work better—they live better.

Get your team together in person, even if it’s just once a quarter. Kill the transactional meetings and create moments where real conversations can happen. Take people out of the office, into spaces that inspire them—a coworking space, a mountain retreat, a dive bar with a jukebox that works. Build spaces and rituals where connection becomes part of the culture, not an afterthought.

This is the future of work. Not more tools, not more tech, not more optimization. It’s people. Real, flawed, messy, beautiful people coming together to create something bigger than themselves. If we get this right, it won’t just change the workplace, it’ll change lives.

So, here’s the deal: stop settling for mediocrity. Stop building cultures where people are just trying to get through the day. Build something extraordinary. Something that makes people excited to show up. Because when people feel connected, they don’t just work harder, they dream bigger, live fuller, and thrive. And isn’t that the whole damn point?

Derek Lutz is a full-time traveller, investor, and business owner, who thrives on helping others succeed. He runs Bottle Rocket Search | Coworking & Flex Space Recruitment & Lean Six Search | Supply Chain Recruitment. When he's not doing that, he's writing, traveling, exercising, and trying to experience all the world has to offer.