loneliness is not the same as solitude

Many of us endure loneliness. It’s been labeled a social epidemic, and probably is. It's very hard to connect with new (and familiar) people other than online, these days. You don’t have to look very far to feel the effect. Maybe this is something you experience, and the idea of solitude just does not compute. Let me acknowledge that.

Solitude is not the same as loneliness. Solitude blesses the life of our soul and expands our inner life in countless ways, some of which I’ve described. But loneliness is plain hard. In solitude we adopt a posture of openness, in loneliness, we tend to close the door and pull down the blinds. In solitude we become more fit for close relationship with others because we’re more self-aware and spiritually confident of God’s nearness. In loneliness we wither and eventually grow suspicious of others and our need of them.

In solitude we find courage to take risks, to act on our convictions. In loneliness we manage to survive—sort of.

What makes all the difference? In solitude we find we are not alone: that God is with us and for us. In loneliness, we close ourselves off to this living truth and conclude we really are, truly, fully alone in the world, and so, who cares about what happens next?! Today, tomorrow, and forever are drained of their meaning, because when we don’t know that God is present, with us, and for us—when we don’t practice spiritual privacy to see where we are, and discover the significance of who we are—what meaning does time have? This is why loneliness is a great social ill. This is why it leads to despair. And this is why solitude is a great antidote, a healing balm, a spiritual lifeline.

Loneliness is a closed door on a dark room; has little to nothing to offer. Solitude is an open gate on an endless land of wonder, one that will restore our senses and bring us peace. It is a light that signals a warm welcome to us and all we bring.

Wherever we are, there is always a need to know where we are. It's the only way we can find our way. And solitude is the spiritual blessing that helps us do this. It's the very first spiritual discipline on this path of knowing where we are and discerning how to move forward, in what direction, and why. And so, please don't confuse it with loneliness, something a lot of us could use a lot less of. Solitude is a positive, settling influence on our inner life; and the number one practice that puts us in closer touch with where we are, RIGHT NOW.

There is much more to be said on the spiritual discipline of SOLITUDE. Please check out my new book, "Seven Spiritual Disciplines, strength for the journey," if this is something you need more of in YOUR LIFE AND WORK.