LONELINESS

When we feel lonely, the same brain region that “lights up” when we experience hunger becomes activated. In other words, we feel “hunger” for human contact and, where possible, will take steps to address this need. Loneliness affects not just how we think of ourselves and others. It also demonstrably influences our risk of physical illness. It is actually dangerous, as a member of a social species, to feel isolated, and our brain snaps into self-preservation mode, that comes with some unwanted and unknown effects on our thoughts and our actions toward others. Loneliness is linked to a higher risk of dementia.

If people are unable to remedy their feelings of loneliness, it may have dire consequences. Loneliness was an important risk factor for early mortality, even more so than chronic conditions such as obesity.

For sure, people can also be alone by choice, as they may prefer their own company to that of others, and many life coaches and social media influencers push the value of dedicated “me time” for mental and physical health.

Our relationship with modern-day tools, particularly social media, can be a double-edged sword. While it aims to connect, it can also be an isolating experience.That is why there is so much online advice around disconnecting from our fast-paced modern lifestyle. In order to be able to cultivate a positive “alone time” experience, it is important to understand what loneliness is, as well as what factors within our control can affect our mood.

When it comes to ensuring human contact in situations where “alone time” does not happen by choice, two things are key, intentionality in communication and open dialogue. Accepting that we find ourselves alone and reflecting on ways to make the most of that experience can go some way toward shifting loneliness into serenity.

Feelings of loneliness oftentimes lead to depression. When we are unintentionally isolated and feeling down, it can feel like the things around us are out of control. We may ruminate on our situation, which can make our circumstances worse. Persons who feel they have control over their circumstances and environment also tend to have a greater sense of well-being, which contributes to how resilient they are when facing adversity.

It is important to limit the time spent on social media. Yes, we may have unlimited time to scroll and catch up on what others are up to. However, too much of this can actually make our feelings of loneliness and isolation worse. This is because seeing others being connected may make us feel worse about our current situation. The recommended amount of social media use is typically 30–60 minutes a day but again who follows this recommendation? Oh well!

Technology is often touted as the solution to loneliness, yet in itself, it can become an amplifier of loneliness depending on its use. Social media can be a good tool for connection, “but only if used sparingly and intentionally,” he cautioned once again. That is because mindful use, with breaks taken, helps to ensure you are not overstimulated, allowing your mind to regenerate.

A good way of “tricking” ourselves out of loneliness is by engaging in activities that we enjoy, whether this means making use of existing hobbies or finding new interests that can boost our levels of joy. Spending time in nature can help reduce stress. For example, by admiring a nearby park or garden from your a window view correlates with having fewer or less intense cravings for things like unhealthy snacks, or alcohol.

Get some fresh air and connect with nature. Try to get outside throughout the day if you can. That may mean taking a walk in your backyard or sitting outside on your porch. Fresh air does us good, and sunshine gives us vitamin D, which alleviates feelings of depression.

There are many mental health support and therapy options online, including some that come free of cost.

The most important step in coping with loneliness is being kind and compassionate to yourself, and finding acceptance. These all play a role in being able to turn loneliness into a happier experience, and provide pathways to move towards a more positive and socially connected future.

Thank you for reading.