The Loneliness of Leading Millennials

Author: Georgina Barrick

My name is Georgina. I am a Generation X leader and I lead Millennials.

As a Gen X-er, I find leadership both rewarding and challenging.

Like my peers, we find it rewarding because we’ve quietly worked hard to get where we are today. We’ve put in long hours, paid our dues and are finally taking over the leadership mantle from retiring Boomers.

And, challenging because, as the original ‘latchkey’ kids, we’re naturally independent, self-reliant and results-orientated, which means that we favour a ‘hands off’/ ‘low face time’ leadership style.

We largely expect our teams to get on with the job, working independently – and we expect results.

But, this doesn’t work for all of our team members.

Enter stage left: The Millennial…

These curious beings are currently aged between 17 and 35, and are, in many respects, our polar opposite.

Labelled ‘Generation Y’ – or, more derogatively, ‘Generation Snowflake’ – they’re widely described as entitled, high maintenance and pampered – the ‘everybody gets a trophy’ generation.

Born to helicopter parents, Millennials are used to constant attention, praise and feedback.

Their unfettered access to ‘always on’ technology and social media has hardwired them to want everything instantly. Instant gratification is the only way they know.

They are impatient, outspoken and have limited ability to accept constructive criticism. They’ve been isolated by technology and want to make an immediate impact.

In the workplace, Millennials thrive on a steady stream of feedback and positive reinforcement, routinely voice their opinions without thought for consequence, expect to move up the corporate ladder quickly and insist on work that is both stimulating and personally fulfilling.

Their desire for instant gratification means that, if they feel their needs aren’t being met or that they can’t achieve desired goals, they don’t stick around to give you a chance to fix the issue.

It’s lonely leading them as you always feel like maybe you haven’t done enough - and even when you have, they decide that they’re feeling ‘lost’ and leave you anyway.

However, we all know that history repeats itself.

Like Millennials, Gen X initially got a bad rap. We were the aimless ‘Friends’ generation – slackers who would never amount to much. You can read more about this here in my piece from last month.

In the same way, Millennials are also adaptable, flexible, view work as a key part of life, are technologically sophisticated and believe that they will change the world for the better.

All indications are that, as they grow, they will fulfil their potential and promise.

But, we’re going to have to help them – in ways that don’t drain or overwhelm us - or leave us feeling disappointed. 

Perhaps one of the ways that we can achieve this is to shift the responsibility for mentoring from ourselves to others. Ideas like reverse mentoring, where the Millennial mentors (and learns from) another millennial; group mentoring, where peers give feedback through a technology platform; or anonymous mentoring, where mentees are matched with trained mentors outside of the company, all provide regular feedback and positive reinforcement without requiring too much input from the Gen X leader. I’m not suggesting a completely ‘hands off’ approach – just a way in which a Gen X leader managing many Millennials can find some balance.

Millennials have been sheltered from having to build and nurture relationships in the real world – and it’s hurting them.

Technology has become their enabler and their shield. Facebook and Instagram create an artificial world, showing a carefully crafted veneer of how perfect life is. Let’s be honest – no-one ever posts an ugly picture. Suicide and depression rates are far higher among Millennials than in previous generations.

As Gen X’ers, we can help them to build relationships – and confidence.

One suggestion is to ban technology from meetings. Without a mobile phone or an app to rely on during meeting lulls, they will have to engage with the people at the table.

These small interactions teach social skills and build relationships. They open the opportunity for real conversation and often spark a deeper understanding of the people around you. It’s hard to swipe left when you have to do it face-to-face.

Millennials need a clear career roadmap, with detailed expectations/ outputs and timelines. Understanding how they’re being groomed for success may mitigate some of the Millennials impatience to move up the ladder.

There is a caveat.

You may still find that you will do everything ‘right’, give Millennials a reason to believe, purpose and fulfilling work – and they may still leave anyway.

But, we’re Gen X and we’ll live to fight another day.