Loneliness

The topic of loneliness is one that has recently gained some notoriety and while this is a good thing, it is also a bad thing. 

Being or feeling lonely is not something that we should talk about from a trend perspective, because loneliness is a serious matter that affects us all regardless of age, social/economic status, race and gender; and the effect that it can have on us can be really damaging.

What Causes Us To Feel Lonely?

The answer to this question is very complex because loneliness is an emotional response to isolation and lack of feeling connected and part of something, whether that is a society in general or part of specific groups and activities around our daily lives. 

Now many would say; How can we feel disconnected at a time when we are more connected than ever as a society? But the reality is that the fact that we are that much more connected amplifies the level of loneliness we can feel. 

There are many causes today that can influence loneliness especially as time passes by:

• The increasing idea of individuality 
• The search for autonomy and independence 
• The chance of family structure towards single households 

All these and others are quiet yet impactful things that can lead to us feeling lonely without us even realizing it. 

We all are in search of purpose as we grow up and even as we are in the midst of making a life for ourselves and individuality and sense of community are two mindsets that create internal conflicts.

Over the last few years, the values and attitudes of the new generations have changed and these are not without reason referred to as "Generation Me”. The youth is characterized by an always-on mentality as well as self-centredness. 

Studies show that the use of social networks increases the experience of loneliness and the associated painful feelings, instead of connecting people in a real way. 

Loneliness is, in this case, the subjective experience – one feels lonesome but without specifically looking for that loneliness. This means that people can feel lonely without necessarily being socially isolated from the community or a good family and friends environment.

The quantity but rather the quality of our social contacts strongly influences our well-being. It is not only the youth but also today's fast-moving society in general that is characterized by constant accessibility, stressful everyday life and a feeling of loneliness.

This brings me back to the point of how being as digitally connected as we are today is actually a catalyst to the feeling of loneliness. If we find ourselves more connected to our social media digital connections than we are connected with our offline community then this presents an opportunity for loneliness to quietly creep into our life. 

Social media can make us feel as we are part of something until we aren’t and until our natural need for the human to human connection hits, and we begin to feel isolated from our social media networks. This can not only affect how we continue to interact online but also how we interact offline by creating a faux comparison that says our offline network isn’t as good as our online one, therefore, we separate from both and end up truly alone, and this is when loneliness becomes critical to our overall health.  

How Can You Deal With Loneliness?

In order to combat loneliness, it is essential to work together with compassion. 

With that said, we need to understand that loneliness is bidimensional, on one side you have an emotional dimension and on the other, you have situational one. While both must be addressed in order to successfully overcome loneliness, it is the subjective perception of loneliness that is often the dominant factor.

Some people can be and feel very fulfilled by having a small group of friends; in the same token, those with larger social groups can feel lonely. For this reason, it is important that those experiencing loneliness challenge their feelings and acknowledge the likely transience of those feelings, while also taking concrete steps to strengthen connections to others.

Meeting new people can be a difficult task for many of us, from our insecurities to our personality traits, such as whether we are extroverted or introverted to our age group all these factors play a big role on how effective we can accomplish this task. This is why it is important that we make use of our closest network for help in meeting new people, these introductions will help establish a stronger sense of confidence in those who need it more.

It is also important to know that seeking help outside of our networks is a really important step we can take when we feel that our loneliness is much more severe. Whether you are the one afflicted or whether it is someone you know, seeking the help of a mental health professional is an important step. 

The reality is that most people think first of themselves and then of others, but we should rather pay attention to each other and strengthen cooperation more. It is crucial to address loneliness because it is dangerous for every individual, it hurts enormously and it can encourage other diseases from depression to heart attacks. 

For these reasons, from the perspective of any functioning society, togetherness and mutual cooperation should be encouraged. What society needs is more active affection for one another and less self-centredness, because to be in the company of friends and others brings feelings of happiness while being an outcast hurts dramatically. Loneliness tortures and has to be named for what it is - an undetected disease!