The Lone Wolf- Why You Should Cultivate Your Network

I have always considered myself a lone wolf. For the better part of my career, I achieved a lot on my own. I had no known mentors, coaches, or professional circles. Although I admired people and was inspired by the career trajectories of some of my good friends and senior colleagues. As I built my career and got into certain positions, I experienced challenges that I thought were unique to me. I felt like I was alone in the world and these experiences were happening to only me. How wrong I was. Nothing good comes without a price.

About seven years into my career journey, I met someone whom I used to call my corporate shrink. We did not have an officially defined relationship, but years later, I realized that they served as my Coach. This was before the coaching industry blew up. They used analogies to describe and simplify some of the complex experiences that I was having and suggested better ways of engagement for results. One particular analogy was how HR should think of themselves as a dumping ground or in his terms, the "shit-box". I went into those sessions frustrated but with a calm disarming voice and intermittent smiles, my shrink, no! coach would suggest reasons for certain behaviors and create alternative pathways that guaranteed success.

Years later, someone else came into my life and completely changed the game for me. I will credit this person with a lot of growth that I experienced They also opened my mind and taught me to say yes to all kinds of opportunities. The cherry on top was that they connected me to their network which I then layered on my non-existing one. I did ask God to bring people into my life and one became a network.

My current job and the last one I did was gotten through my network. The vacancies were never publicized. My professional network has pushed me, inspired me, covered me, chastised me, grown me, wiped my tears, and laughed with me. They have extended grace to me and opened doors for me that I did not even know existed.

Your network will serve as wise counsel and a sounding board when you are making critical decisions. Your network can also provide a safe haven when you run into trouble and they will connect you with opportunities. There is so much to learn from other people. Therefore, carefully curate your tribe.

Ned Stark taught his children to stay together and in the referenced quote, he uses the analogy of the lone wolf and the problems and possible death it can encounter in difficult and treacherous weather. Whereas the pack will survive, because it has other wolves to lift it when tired. There is also an adage that says that people are like cloth that covers us. Remember when our parents advised us about the company we kept? Think about this with your network as well.

Maybe when we stop viewing networking as a transactional event where we are looking to gain favors from others but rather as a delicate and intricate web we are building to surround ourselves with, we may be able to do this better.

Maybe when we realize that we do not have to have 1 million people in our network and attend multiple events but that for each area of our life that we have defined as important, we have ?2-3 people whom we can call upon for support or read something they have shared to help us in our troubled time.

Many of us think that our personalities will prevent us from successfully building our network. I tend to disagree. You can build your network even as an introvert. You only have to remain true to yourself. Think quality over quantity, shared values, and look at it as a house you are building, give it time, and develop a strong foundation.

Social media has simplified this for us to a large extent. I imagine that our parents had to leave their houses and attend events to meet people Now we can chat with someone in any corner of the world from our bedrooms

Be strategic, intentional, and yet authentic as you build your network. You should not only be known by the people in your Organisation because there may come a time when your value may no longer be perceived as strong in your current Organisation. Your external professional network may not share the same perspective.

Advise- Do not be a lone wolf on your career journey. Find your tribe of cheerleaders!

Best wishes

Bunmi.