A Lone Pine Between Silver Linings and Theatre

A Lone Pine Between Silver Linings and Theatre

What happens to us as we transition to new healthcare work? And in that new role, how do we assess what parts of the predecessor program to keep, and which to no longer resource?

I’ve been on the move more than I prefer these past several years. Even before that, my hiring was usually a mix of needed policy, needed structure and wanted change. 

Four approaches are mainstays in this work: respecting relationships, understanding the situation, knowledge accumulation and weighing optimism. 

I assess the environment: my programs, any policies already on hand, the office, any tangible resources. I begin to meet others and evaluate what I was hired to do, and how that matches up alongside the culture and my colleagues reflect. Usually brought in for change, sometimes I end up recommending otherwise. After all, our work is to do what’s best for our boss and my organization, even if that means status quo. New healthcare roles are like any good theater: we step into the spotlight, connect with those seeking story connection and best try to understand how to get through. Ultimately, we connect with those seeking to be understood. In healthcare, sometimes this is the organization, sometimes this is the change-making supervisor, yet usually the connection role requires the ability to convey understanding everywhere. 


Respecting relationships

Relationships are the most complex. Many avoid lines of work, many are sponges for relationship work. When in a new role, it doesn’t matter which type you are. You signed up for this, so you’ll have to establish trust, open lines of communication and get to know the organization. Create an energetic tandem flow with others, and begin to assess the job. What should you keep, based on colleague communication and organizational need? What should you store away as a file on hand if asked, yet not necessary for current operations? And what no longer serves? 

In our new roles, we determine what to bring in, what to keep, what to file away, what to discard. Unless vindictive or resentful, we usually don’t discard others’ successful efforts that have advanced the organization. We don’t discard a successful response to the organization when we’re secure, when the job isn’t about us, when we are emotionally competent.

Once, in long term care, I made the mistake of insisting I didn’t have an old protocol binder. The binder wasn’t required for new protocol; this was more of a binder to reflect the relationship of the person who worked before me. The organization wanted it, and I understood. When I left the job, the workplace called to ask some questions about locations of other things. I mentioned I could come in to help locate whatever was misplaced, and they advised that I wasn’t allowed to return to the building. Though collegial on the phone, it was difficult to help navigate their needs after the fact. Within days I was also called by a LTC manager on friendly terms, answered some inquiries about operations and no one ever explained the building restriction statement. I found the old protocol binder days after my phone conversations, yet it was futile, the protocols outdated. Even with the odd LTC behavior, I felt so guilty for having a piece of their sentiment with a former employee. It was a shame no one could explain anything, yet I went about my life. I felt that responsibility because I have emotional competence. I understand good workplace relationships, and the importance of not removing meaningful connection.

I have been fortunate in relationship and emotional growth; I’ve had great role models and great community. 

Wow, my colleague commented. I was graduating high school, and she was my classmate friend’s mom. “Your parents really put a lot of effort into your high school yearbook message. That was so many words” I agreed, we continued on wiring and I left the flower shop to reread my yearbook. I’d been so focused on my friends that year, I hadn’t even considered that the message cost money. The message was a connection of many, many movie quotes into one senior year message from loves ones. Thanks, Mom, I thought, you really took that step to bridge my guy friends and sister, in a way that they won’t miss one another. You really took that step for her and I, too, I decided. For myself, it showcased the unspokenness of a profession I respected, the messaging celebrating that each of us connects to many movies, many actors, and we are bonded over this outside the studios. Mostly, though I loved that she was bridging my younger sister and a best guy friend. Communication through movie quotes happened sometimes as jokes and sometimes out of appreciation that Hollywood had found words, had put in the effort. It didn’t matter if others in high school didn’t understand; they wouldn’t make fun anyway, and it meant more to my loved ones, which made me happy. The flood of tears when I moved to U of I were soothed with more no crying in baseball orders, I’m sure. My mom could’ve chosen to be her old school culture. She chose to put my sister, friend and I first, respecting relationships.

Years later, I’d find myself downtown Chicago listening to Skrillex Cinema (featuring Benny Benassi, my favorite). I would think about the yearbook of movie quotes, of cultural awareness and bridging communication, as I examined what policies and program material for revision, implementation or maintenance. I would listen to Skrillex even after 2012-2013 HR danced around Grey and Steele, danced around spinal cord injury confidentiality, danced around a loved ones texts about DC clowns. I would listen and consider that change agency didn’t require surveillance of my suburban loved one’s texts, especially not ones vented and not meant. That loved one appreciated those who understood our hometown, and that loved appreciated those who worked as courtroom lawyers in the ‘80’s and early 90’s alongside law enforcement. And we all love DuPage County enough to want the best, that’s all. That summer I thought about the movie quotes and cultural competence when the very loved male friend and I enjoyed The Place Between the Pines, a continued favorite. He was weighing a Hawaii move and needed to know how I felt about it. Even then, I would tell him to enjoy his new friend….Wiiiilllllssson. My mom was smart, so smart, communicating in a way we needed. We learn from those movie and storyteller experts, I guess. 

DC and Cubs and those experiences needn’t be rewritten here on LinkedIn again; as I filed them away, stored for on-hand request, I enjoy Skrillex and Benassi. The continued good eb and flow with DuPage County was celebrated with the Cubs win, long after a Chicago HR’s inability to establish cultural competence. This was a win I had championed since DuPage championed escorting me out of downtown Chicago and into actual DC, where I snapped some pines between the Addison sign. Unsure how they had even been asked to share a lot of their time toward my life, I had respected a good move on for them. This whole experience is energy consuming for a County that likely will be thrilled to move on, I’m sure my alignment with this is mutually respected, and everyone else isn’t us so outside concern is irrelevant. Filed away, and thank you for respecting that the story needn’t be part of programmatic operations further.DC can reach out at anytime, because. 

From understanding who wants change and who doesn’t with infection prevention, to understanding who wants that quality policy implemented and who doesn’t think it can be done, we must establish relationships, share knowledge, trust, and respect boundaries. Ask for the truth, learn the language and watch reciprocation of respect. This is especially true for former communities putting their own time and energy into our wellbeing, and hopefully moves reciprocated.

You want the truth? You can handle the truth. :)


Understanding the situation

New healthcare roles require understanding the situation. This doesn’t require cynicism yet it requires healthy pragmatism. Who is asking what of your role, why, and how does this align with healthcare best practice? 

When I asked 2017 justice, justice that continued to be involved in personal housing and work decisions, to respond to my communication outreach, I wasn’t being a pesky woman. 4 years into a mock is long and I had a life to live. When I asked them to keep me posted, I wish they would’ve put themselves as a woman of child bearing years, a woman without closure in personal communication violations. It had already been over 3-4 years since an angry boss demanded she received a note on my PTO scheduled time for my gynecologist exam. A few months before, she had advised that I am only allowed to see the hospital’s ER or doctor’s group cardiologist for care (my insurance was PPO and physicians in Chicago suburbs, so I declined her demands). It had been over 3-4 years since this medical demand fallout over my ED visit for anxiety from workplace stalking, their being told of the ED visit before I even returned to work Monday morning and their knowledge that a subsequent cardiac follow up visit was required. Why anyone in surveillance clued them in, I’ll never know. Asking for 2017 justice to acknowledge and move on was natural. Left open, we never find assurance. Take for instance that situation with the gynecologist. After her angry outburst, I tested the workplace out. Were they still accompanying my physician visits? I told my colleague I may have difficulty having children one day, a statement never made in my MD visit, and no one challenged it. My sleuthing was complete for the day, I determined none of this was health energy for a workplace. Would I be barren of children? Nah, I decided. I wanted like 4.

It's too bad that justice door remains wide open. If only they understood just how deep it all tangled.

Understanding the situation also means understanding where people are coming from.

My parents didn’t have much money growing up, yet I was bookish and they supported me having an outdoor activity. I chose horsebacking, as horses were my favorite and I was naturally inclined. I was tall, and an easy going dressage horse, Barron, was matched for training. Other horses found their way into my Oak Brook classes, yet Barron was the only constant. My mom always came. Not one for competition, I was never entered into contests until finally pushed. I only realized how much anxiety this caused my mom once I entered competition. She would bring up beloved actor Christopher Reeve, and then say just be careful, and then tell me she didn’t want me jumping, and then bite her nails. This grew and grew before the competition. During it, I looked up at the spectator window and saw her staring out the window with a worried look she hadn’t shown before. I understood the situation, finally, as Barron kept me posting in polished refine. He was my one and only in the spotlight. To be honest, I never entered another contest. It didn’t matter to me anyway. Eventually, we choose Oak Brook for shopping, celebrating McDonald’s, first dates, the Toy Story Jessie scenario I suppose. 

Writing, blogging, social media posts, connections to newspapers, appreciation for Ronald McDonald charities have superseded dressage posting since. These are emotional and relationship skills that required focus, just as college life did. Once in Napa, I familiarized myself with riding once more.   

When we don’t respond, we fail to understand. When we don’t ask how another feels about a situation, we fail to meet relationship needs. 

Some prefer misunderstanding. I prefer to be kept posted.


Knowledge accumulation 

It is important to understand when others intentionally miscommunicate or intentionally make things complex. This happens on Wall Street, this occurs with health insurance, this even happens when mistakes don’t want to be accounted for. And to counter, we need to acquire knowledge not only of the organization but of the subject. What are the laws, regulations, clinical areas we must put extra education effort into? And we need to be open to what we need to learn and don’t yet realize, too. 

A knowledge expert pulled me aside once in 2013-2014. She was upset. We weren’t close; I had just come out of a meeting she was in. She said, and I quote, “this organization is evil. When they want to do something to someone, they will get together, they will find a way and do it.” At the time, I was so worked up over my own situation I just listened. I didn’t know who she was talking about as the receiver of the “something”. I may have asked more questions if equipped with longevity knowledge, yet she was a long term, valued expert at the place. She was sharing knowledge with me, I decided. Not wanting to hear anymore about DC and clowns, I opted to avoid HR, and I assured her I was here if she had anything else to educate me on.  

This was a standout moment for me in understanding that knowledge accumulation isn’t just about content, laws, policies, re-learning central lines. Knowledge wasn’t just about who the formal and informal managers are, who was respected as SME, etc. Sometimes, knowledge is just straight up serious truth, it isn’t laced in intentional complexity and we need to be prepared to take it. Evil is a strong word, an education I’ll never forget.


Weighing optimism

The future’s so bright, I’ll opt to avoid Sun City in lieu of more time with my Shades. Awaiting his courage, let's focus on a couple optimistic points by first putting ourselves in grey state. 

Negative cynicism would have looked at the 2013 world and determine it was falling apart. Optimism would point at opportunity. After all, a woman who needed to face her fears could stare at her President, see his smile next to a LinkedIn Wharton boss and feel good. This would encourage her ability to post. Importantly, this would establish trust with Silicon Valley. 

Negative cynicism isn’t all bad. For after all, there are people hellbent on destruction. It is okay to be real about the situation. The only way to place an antibiotic of optimism in nasty wound is directly, sometimes painfully; this confrontation is key to success. 

Realistic me knows that destructive pessimism would find clowns who hate media to embarrass the compassion known in Wharton. Realistic me knows that degrading clowns would seek to be anti-compassionate, if they really wanted to mock the Mockingjay. It’s not cynical to see the reality of good posts. Indeed, as the Wharton-educated professional became a trusted poster, I felt confident. No mom, I wasn’t going to sustain the same injury as a beloved actor of yours! I will be ok in DC, and then I’ll include spinal injuries in my LinkedIn. I have mentioned often that there isn’t anyone in the world who feels okay letting SCI research lapse. We all want other humans to have motor function. I would bet even clowns agree on this one. Spinal cord injury improvement brings us all together, kind of like LinkedIn, and I have no regrets over worldwide familiarity to my name and face. If clowns come looking to say hello, beautiful, may I always be in the seat of international healthcare reform. Realistic me knows that the cool guy from Wharton got through to me, so much so that I could positively mock him and we could have fun. Realistic me knows that the anti-compassionate jealousy can’t stand optimistic antibiotics. 

We have to weigh optimism with realism before we get to any silver linings. After the Cubs win straight out of a Back to the Future script, the new President of the United States sought to rip up much of Obama’s legacy. Politics aside, the group that entered the 2017 White House were sprinkled with, and some raised in, supremacy notions. This is a big deal regardless of what politics you vote. If it is not acknowledged, the infection spreads. If one wanted to mock our All Star baseball fun and deflate optimism, they’d put in parasitic partygoers. Partygoers who flip flop to Republicans, bypass moderates and determine the “Republican” agenda. If one wanted to mock to deflate optimism, our long day and frustrated words around a respected workplace would be set aflame, a dramatization of the anti-respect mock, a nightmare. 

Optimistic me knows a pessimistic mock; many of you are also skilled at this discernment. Deflating optimism would intentionally mock the reality of the public’s bond with movies. Jokers would forgo empathy in movie quote communication, they would erase the fact that it feels really good for the public to know that people in the world actively seek to understand us. Put in power, these anti-compassionates would exacerbate animosity, yell to angry mobs some disparaging words about Hollywood. Never mind the thousands of movies in home collections, moviemakers don’t understand you, a deflating mocker would say, sopping up his hopes that this Jay was watching the sewn discord. Deflating optimism would require this negative mocker to call themselves a Republican forevermore while ushering in white supremacy as the unwanted side dish. A negative joker would teach us all a lesson for supporting our first Black President; a positive compassionate Jay would respond with lessons of love. Optimistic me knows that the first Black President’s legacy will not be diminished, particularly once the side dish gets moldly. 

A good legacy of intention is like a lone pine; it withstands even the harshest of time travel.

In healthcare roles, we have to work actively hard in optimism; harder still when negative jokers seek anti-compassion while harboring selfish resentment toward the predecessor. How do we regain, retain and shine our impatient optimism?

We recall that the silver lining is the most important playbook of all.

Let's skip the healthcare examples in lieu of present day needs. The above example of a negative Presidential mockery presents two silver linings opportunities. These linings will remain sewn into the fabric of the world, because I am here to do the sewing.

The first silver lining is that of volunteers. You see, with all the negative mockery and attention to clowns, to late ‘80s early 90’s collegiality, we have the opportunity to address public health misses of those times. We missed the mark on active duty and veteran healthcare after the Gulf War. We missed the mark on chemicals and biological hazards even before that. No 2015 LinkedIn post is going to magically construct best care. No, we need international alignment on chemical and biological weapons, environmental health, and military health research. 

I’m excited to champion the volunteers in need. I’m excited to detail specifics and walk the walk alongside a world that will include military members in our global health. And, I’m excited that this is a chalkboard issue I can help solve. Sometimes we don’t get to go to the moon; we’re the ones figuring it out in the module. Maybe that’s the way fate hunted and intended. Even moderate suburban politics would agree that the opportunity to work on behalf of those with theatre roles overseas is the opportunity of a lifetime. No matter how many anti-Hollywood members of the public voice elitist frustration, actors in movies about the military and war still seek to connect. This human work isn’t missed by me. While I have no idea what it is like to serve in armed force capacity, somehow it just always seems that those who do are understood a little more by their Hollywood theater counterparts. Let the negative mockers words evaporate as we appreciate the actors of theater, in script and volunteers overseas. I'll appreciate from the healthcare chalkboard.

May our new roles addressing theatre volunteers be respected. The men, women and persons of our armed forces were supported internationally, and international armed forces personnel deserve equality in healthcare. This is true in preventative management, by way of environmental, chemical and diplomatic accountability. And this is true in healthcare management for the rest of volunteers and mandated servicepersons’ lives. 

I will not miss the mark for these volunteers. You know it, I know it, the world knows it. Pull up the lifelong chair and don’t bother placing bets on my arrow. 

The second silver lining is in toddler management. Let me explain. Backlash to presidencies may be genuine political frustration. Unfortunately, backlash may be parasitically hijacked by racial supremacists. It is relatively easy for a raging tantrum to be convinced of violent turn. What do we do to temper prejudice flames? For starters, we de-escalate. If one was ever worried about former Presidency, if one was ever concerned about the internal and hidden raging from supremacy, the clown who rang the door won’t be turned away.

Toddlers distracted by some clown entertaining tend to feel soothed. Nap time is announced without whine, everyone is safe and wouldn’t you know it? They behaved so well, we can even have McDonald’s for dinner.

The second silver lining in a negative anti-compassionate raging national discord is that toddlers were provided an unpaid entertainer clown, allowing space for distraction and time to process the reality of consequence nap.

More minorities in politics, please. Naptime feels good for everyone involved.

When starting a new healthcare role, we have to assess what to keep, what to store, what to disregard. May your individual life examples serve to better your skillset in managing new roles and may we always remember the opportunity new roles present. Sure, I wanted that 2012 chance to bring a clinical research quality metrics program to Chicago operations. Standing at the rocket launch was a pity party we didn’t have time for, though. I thank my Wharton compassionate for the module simulator, the puzzle piece chalkboard. 

I don’t mind being the simulator pilot and I don’t mind being at the chalkboard table: in it for cures, in it for volunteers, in it for spinal cord injury, in it for health systems. A lone pine in between silver lining and theatre. Right where I’m meant to be. 

There’s even enough Steele Shade for future children. I’ll keep you posted on that one.

Thank you, volunteers and mandatory personnel. I didn't go into the line of work of your theater counterparts in Hollywood, so many of them so good at understanding, yet I'm here too. And I promise you, the future results of our international health work will be as good as it can get.

For now, I'm gonna go get the papers (get the papers).

See you soon, my arrowhead forthcoming.

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