The Locker Room President

Over the last 31 years I have been honored to be part of the struggle in this country to prevent and reduce domestic violence and sexual assault. First, as a prosecutor and now as the leader of a national non-profit organization. I have seen firsthand the consequences of rage, misogyny, and the objectification of women as primarily heterosexual men and boys have sexually assaulted, slapped, punched, kicked, strangled, and verbally abused women and girls. I have seen violence by women against men and violence in the LGBT community as well, but the genesis of most of the abuse usually traces its way back to straight men and a centuries old legacy of power and oppression.

Eight months ago, I hoped that the race for President would include meaningful discussion among the candidates about domestic violence and sexual assault. Such violence and abuse connects to so many major social issues we face in this country. But the race for President has not included meaningful dialogue on the victimization of many from violence or the root causes of such behavior. No major speech has been given on the topic. No major candidate throughout the primary season focused on these important issues and no debate moderator has even asked a question about these important social issues during the general election season.

But now, with just weeks left before the election, the topic has risen to the forefront.

In a leaked 2005 audio file from Access Hollywood, Donald Trump bragged about his sexual assaults (nonconsensual kissing and groping of women) using his “star” power to get away with his crimes.  Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush and Donald Trump spoke frankly on the tape about women and the opportunities that Trump has had to sexually assault women with impunity. Once the tape was released and the shock of his words spread across the country, Donald Trump immediately tried to explain it as “locker room banter” and “locker room talk” from “a long time ago.” He offered a very faint apology for his “words” “if he offended anyone” though he avoided any responsibility for the actions he declared he had committed on the tape. Donald Trump argued that the tape did not reflect “who he really is.”

It was not how I was hoping that domestic violence and sexual assault would become an issue in the presidential campaign, but I am thankful that it has brought a spotlight to the causes of such crimes and the existence of such crimes even among the rich and famous. Though a videotape of Donald Trump groping a woman against her will would be more convincing to the American public (e.g. Ray Rice), having him profess it on a recording while talking to a reporter is almost as irrefutable. It is an opportunity for every man with a daughter in America to reflect on Donald Trump’s locker room. Let’s go inside Donald Trump’s locker room.

In Donald Trump's locker room, men can talk about women as "bi-----".  They can speak frankly and honestly about grabbing women's "pu-----". In Donald Trump's locker room, men can honestly share their felonious sexual assaults on women with impunity.  They can say she let them do it and really wanted it.  They can laugh about it and then pretend it didn't happen. If they ever get caught or overheard by people with integrity, they can say others have done far worse. They can say it was just a joke, as if jokes don’t matter.  They can just say it is not who they are.  It is not what they believe.  It was "locker room talk”.  It was "locker room" banter”.  As if it doesn't mean anything, as if it does not really promote rape culture, or objectify and demean women, or send powerful messages to other boys and men in the locker room about the permissibility of violence against women.

Would you want your daughter in Donald Trump’s locker room? Would you want your daughter walking by the window of the locker room? If your daughter was in the locker room, would she be safe?  What if Donald Trump viewed her as a "beautiful woman"?  Would she be kissed and groped?  What if she wasn't beautiful in his eyes?  Would he call her fat, ugly, stupid?  What if she was disabled? Would she suffer verbal and emotional abuse or sexual abuse in Donald Trump's locker room?  Would you even risk letting your daughter into his locker room if you had a choice?  If you were there with your daughter, would you leave her alone with Donald Trump?

Even if your daughter was not there, what if you were there? If you were in the locker room when Donald Trump started talking, would you ask him to stop? Would you tell him that women and girls should not be treated like that?  Would you be willing to risk his wrath or lose his friendship to call him on his violent and abusive language?

Or would you remain silent? Would you pretend Donald Trump did not say it or did not mean it? Would you try to focus on other things he talked about instead of his comments about demeaning or sexually assaulting women? Would you think other things he stands for are more important than how he treated your daughter?

Every man with a daughter gets to answer these questions every day in the locker room, the bus, the plane, the office, the church, the bar, or the boardroom.  In a few weeks, we will all get to answer them on Election Day.

Donald Trump is not running for Locker Room President.  He is running for President of the United States. 

Casey Gwinn is the former San Diego City Attorney. He currently serves as President of Alliance for HOPE International (www.allianceforhope.com).