Locked in a submerged boot!

My work!

Got connected to a lady who has been brutally bashed over and over again, has been locked in a boot about 13 times and the last time he submerged the back of the car in water, leaving her only enough room to breathe. That four hour torture was the final straw for Meryl (not her real name). 

DVO's had been placed on him numerous times and as you can imagine because she kept going back, child safety were now involved. With a DVO in place and with the knowledge that if she even so much as saw him again, her children would be taken away from her, she had no intention of returning. As in most cases though, the manipulative abuse continued.

The straw that broke the camels back. 

Her home situated fairly close to a cemetry, was known to her perpetrator, so one night he decided to go to his mothers grave, stick a "blood bank" needle in his arm, removed the plunger and proceed to let the blood drain out of his body over his mother's grave. Of course, as with most abusers, he messaged her and told her what he was doing across the road. Her first reaction was to ring 000 where she was promptly told that if she did not go over and save his life she would be charged as an accessory. Apparently this information given at 000 was incorrect but at the time Meryl had no idea. 

She ran across the road and applied first aid, tying a tourniquet to stop the blood flow, conflicted as she knew that once the authorities realized she had gone to his aid, there was a very real possibility her children would be removed from her care! And 2 days later they were taken.

As her only support in Brisbane, I have been required to spend time with her lovely children at the request of the police whilst she was whisked away on a flight to give evidence to make sure this time he served jail time. We are 18 months down the track. The case keeps getting adjourned and there are another 27 abuse charges he is facing as a result of other women he has violently abused since she escaped - and yet he remains free. 

Let me give you a quick example of the anxiety her and her children suffer at just the thought he will find them. 

They had been in their new department of housing house for only a few months when she phoned me in hysterics. There were 5 police cars outside her house and they had a dog squad as well. In utter panic she was describing what was happening outside and repeating over and over again, "he has found me! he has found me!" It did not occur to her to go outside and ask what was happening as she would then reveal her identity if he was there. 

My job was to ask if the doors were locked and the curtains closed, tell her to take a breath and breathe, and then tell her I was going to ring the police for her and I would ring her back. 131444 is the number to call and a quick identification and explanation of the client and address I was reassured an officer from that station would ring me straight back. And he did. What was actually happening was they were about to raid a house 500 metres down the street and were gathering and preparing to act. He reassured me the perpetrator had not found her and was I able to contact her and apologise and let her know she was safe. Which of course I did. 

We can not begin to understand what some women have been through, nor their children and so much of this story seems unfair, especially for the children. At the moment we are about 8 months into their recovery as a family unit and things have settled into some sort of normality for them and everyone is doing fine. I keep in regular contact and let her know regularly that I am here for her but otherwise she is getting on with her life. When she needs me, as she has a few other times now, I have developed such a friendship with her, on built on trust that I know I will be her first/last call before she makes any decisions regarding her and her children's welfare. You see, my objective is to keep her safe! Women return to their perpetrators on average 7 times and each time their risk of death increases. My job, my passion, my goal is to make sure that women, all over Australia have someone like me to intervene, support, advocate and refer to professional help wheneve they feel overwhelmed so they do not return! Women should never have to walk this road alone after they have experienced such abuse.