Lockdown and relationships

100% of divorces start out in love. This brings to mind two clichés: “love is blind” and “you see what you want to see”.

When you think about relationships and marriage, you realize you do not spend a lot of time together. Here’s what could be a typical day in a life with kids: you get up and spend your morning getting the kids ready to go to school. You and your husband/wife get ready to go to work.

Maybe you’ll talk over a cup of coffee. Maybe you don’t. Before you know it, the kids come home from school. You want to spend time with the kids. Your mate comes home from work and wants to spend some time with the kids. Before you know it, it’s dinner time. Maybe you talk about things at dinner, maybe you don’t.

Kids go to their rooms to do homework, or withdraw from life and get into their electronic world. Next, parents turn on the television and, again, there’s no conversation. The next thing you know it’s 9 o’clock, 10 o’clock, time to go to bed. And the routine starts over and over.

On the weekends you have more time to be together. However, there are chores to be done; house maintenance; taking the kids here and there. NOW everything has changed. Now you’re locked in your house with your partner, your kids.

This takes us back to the opening statement about divorce. What is it that takes a couple from love to divorce? Many different situations lead to divorce. However, in essence it boils down to two fundamental things: concepts in the subconscious mind and the patterns of behavior they create.

When you fall in love with someone, what you fall in love with are their qualities, their way of being. As time goes by little things begin to creep into the relationship. Petty annoyances begin to surface. Like mosquitoes. They bite you. They irritate you. Scratch at them and they go away for a little bit. But they come back and bite again and again. Over time these get out of control and an infection begins. You are annoyed, maybe festering about a particular pattern of behavior your partner expresses.

Now you’re going to be locked in the house together. This could be the foundation in the beginning of the dissolution of many a relationship. The way around this is communication, honest communication. First with yourself.

To that end below is a list of patterns of behavior that you may have that are affecting your relationship. Remember, patterns of behavior are what your subconscious concepts create to validate themselves as being true. So, look at the list to see what is applicable to you and your issues, not your partner’s.

Then have your partner do the same exercise. Set time aside to discuss what each of your patterns are and how you think it’s affecting your partner. By having that open communication you will be able to enhance your relationship and survive the lock down on the most important of all levels, emotional.

Now is the time to come together in unity. When the two become as one you can move mountains. And what are mountains? Obstacles to overcome.

Now is the time for growth and discussions to complete True Unity as it says in Genesis. “A man shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be as one flesh.” 

Now is the time to understand and control all those little petty annoyances so you can move forward as a unified couple with personal power and quiet strength.

 Here is the list of patterns as discussed in the Life Enrichment Journey sessions (#) on my channel, Michael Schwartz N.M.D. on YouTube

 Success/Failure Doubt/Fear #6

Self Pity Being a victim #7

Selfish Perfection #8

Dissatisfaction Disappointment #9

Impatience Depletion #10

Denial Sacrifice #11

Self Destruction Laziness Desperation #12

If you have questions reach out to me here or [email protected]

Here are more patterns that I have discussed that are not yet available. However if you would like access to them let me know.

Excess Rejection #13

Rejection Resentment #14

Need for approval Guilt #15

Guilt Obligation #16

Over compensation  Arguing #17

Always Arguing Manipulation #18

Always being right Demanding #19

Lying Procrastination #20

Embellishing Comedian #21