Lockdown and the Opportunity for Psychological Growth

The Pandemic has made the world topsy turvy for all of us. Enough has been spoken and written on the effects of the Pandemic and the ensuing Lock down, on the economy, future of work, mental and physical well-being etc. And the debate will continue and rage further. While the fallout of the pandemic reverberates across the spectrum, on Nations and Societies, it is the Individual who bears the brunt of the catastrophe. He is the microcosm of the Universe, where the proverbial rubber hits the road and he feels the lingering sting of the blow. We have all experienced the sting, in varying degrees and measures, depending on our context. But the sting is undeniable. 

While as a fallout of the Pandemic, the lockdown has impacted Individuals economically and physically, lets focus a bit on the psychological impact. We, Human Beings, are social creatures and we all recognize how social distancing, remote working and related aspects  have affected our need for social connections. We sorely miss meeting friends and colleagues, the backslapping banter, the coffee sessions and the chatter, or just keeping abreast of the grapevine. We crave for those “real meetings” where we could feel the physical presence of another, reach out and squeeze their arm as a gesture of our support and understanding. We of course, miss the reciprocal gesture. While we try and compensate through zoom calls and the like, it is a poor substitute at best. We all feel a bit uprooted and disconnected from our many relationships. We struggle and devise our coping mechanisms with the aid of technology, virtual meetings, going on an overdrive on social networking sites etc. When all these fail, we hit the Blues and feel anxious. 

While we are in some sense clutching at last straws, on the flip side, this extraordinary situation has held a mirror to all of us. We realize  our basic psychological construct and well-being is so fundamentally predicated on “the other”. Most of us derive our sense of worth and emotional well-being from people around us. While it is but natural for us to seek connections and emotional bonds through relationships, in the current day and age, we have taken our need for validation from “the other” to an extreme level. In the current Lock down scenario, we are realizing that most of the props we use to get this validation from others are redundant. What use is our branded clothes and snazzy watches if others can’t see it and admire it. Our other acquisitions too, be it the latest mobile phone or other fashionable accessories seem to fade in their glitter if it does not arouse admiration laced with envy from our colleagues and friends, who would have, in a normal scenario, touched it, felt it and asked a few questions, taking our self-esteem a few notches higher. What use is a well-toned physique, if it cannot elicit the compliments we always internally crave for, though we might overtly dismiss it  in a self-deprecating manner. Social media does come in to compensate in these scenarios, but still leaves us feeling hollow and confused. In a sense, the props and stratagems we use for our own psychological validation, have been systematically dismantled by the Lockdown. All this can feel a bit bewildering as we struggle to stay afloat and hold on to our sinking self-worth with whatever little resources available.

 While the situation does sound desperate, in some ways it could be a good opportunity for us to reflect on our compulsive need for seeking validation outside and try and break the debilitating pattern of constant dependence on others for our mental well being. We realise, “more” acquisitions and “more” relationships is not the answer. It is time to reconfigure our internal compass and turn the needle to ourselves. We need to go deeper within, find a purpose and narrative which is not constrained by the superficial psychological strokes, other people provide us. We need to get back in touch with things which we innately enjoy and are intrinsically motivated to so, unfettered by other’s reactions. We need to, in a sense, fathom the depths of our soul and find our true self which is valid and independent on its own. This is by no means an easy journey, but once embarked on, can be a fascinating one, providing many insights along the way. This can help us understand who we truly are and what the raison d’etre of our existence is. It can help us propel towards this purpose, using our Talents and strengths and also shine a light on what role relationships play along the way, and how they need not always compulsively define who we are.  In that sense, this Lock down does provide us a veritable opportunity for psychological growth, if we are ready to commit to the inner journey. We are all capable of this journey and the first step is to reduce the focus on the “other” and go inwards.