Lockdown Lunacy, Replacing Oh No! with OKAY!

“Learning to let go of expectations is a ticket to peace. It allows us to ride over every crisis—small or large, brother-in-law or end-of-quarter office lockdown—like a beach ball on water. The next time a problem arises in your life, take a deep breath, let out a sigh, and replace the thought Oh no! with the thought Okay.”

— Martha N. Beck

Well, well, well, baby Jesus’s birthday tomorrow, how are you faring? Are you working? I’m not; I’m taking a day off, no appointments, just me and my Queen running around, then hosting some dear friends tonight.

As of this moment, she is heading to our local bread store to pick up some bread. If ever in Indianapolis, find Amelia’s, the best bread in the nation. It is conveniently located about three blocks from our home. We are blessed.

We left to meet our new friends Rob and Greg, or as Greg would say, Greg and Rob; we planned on meeting at Thunderbird. Some drinks, some yucks, we all think we are funny, and sometimes I am. Greg shows up. First, Rob is always late, but alas, Thunderbirds is closed. 

No worries, there are plenty of bars and restaurants within walking distance, so we go to the next-door location, a bar, I can’t remember the name, it’s also closed. We walk down to the Italian restaurant, and they don’t open until 5:00; it was 4:45.  

We head down Prospect to Kuma, closed, and looked at the Revolution across the street, shockingly closed.  If you are paying attention, that’s four small businesses closed due to the pandemic. Multiply that times a million, and you might get a sense of what these lockdowns have done to this country.

We don’t need more stimulus; we need the country to reopen with a sense of sensibility as to who should stay home. A healthy 21-year-old should not be in lockdown; this policy is ridiculous.

What would Jesus do? He would dictate you must reopen your business or face the raths of hell. Knowing Jesus, he would do it kindly. An edict maybe with some joy, love, and happiness shrouding the fact that if you don’t follow his lead, your soul will burn for eternity.  We are now a country divided by lunacy and sense. Which side are you on?  Oh, and Dr. Birx, don’t you dare spend time with your family per your mandate, or you might just need to retire. Bahahaaaaa! The rule setters don’t follow the rules, and neither should you.

I had a morning meeting; I met a genius known as Matt and my new friend Eugene. We had breakfast at a restaurant that is still figuring out a way to remain open. We wore our magic masks until sitting down, and then through magic, we could remove them.  I didn’t know Matt, never met him, how I arrived in front of him was a bit of a mystery, but I am where I am supposed to be. For almost two hours, the two of us sat and communicated using words, many I did not understand; Eugene and Matt are super intelligent, I was the special needs fellow at the table.

After my mind was blown, I left there and headed downtown to meet my new friend Eric and his wife. Do you see a trend? In this time of lockdown, I’m expanding the human connection. I’ve met more new folks in 2020 than ever before, I’ve tapped into a vein of happiness and joy, and I blame Ulm and Stanton.   If you are not an asshole and live in the Indianapolis area, hit me up on LinkedIn, and I can connect you to a whole new world.

I arrived at the Skyline Club, started working, waiting on my new friends, and all of a sudden, an angel showed up. My friend Tia with her big smile, walked to my table and gave me a big hug!  Soon Eric and his wife joined us; more hugs, stranger hugs are the best hugs you can get. Soon Matt and his friend showed up; we sat down mask-free and began sipping our lunch cocktails of soda water.  We preceded to get hammered on soda water.

I left there, came home, hung out with my Queen and Parker Van Halen, finished up my work for the year, and waited for Bailey to show up. She’s become one of our kids, sure she works for us, but her brother is marrying our daughter, she’s another daughter, like our new son Nate. At 50 plus, we add kids, but no need to pass them through a vaginal canal; they just become family. Like masks, magic!

I seem to be saucy today, excited about Baby Jesus, I guess, and you should be as well. This time is a particular time, a time to give thanks not for the theft of land from the brown folk but the birth of a magical baby made from above. Notice how stupid people don’t show up for the delivery, no for the magic baby, only WISE men show up. I got my friend Murr this year, don’t tell him.

My dog is a little shit right now; the floor looks like a war zone, the paper plate she stole from the countertop is in pieces, the clothes hamper she is attacking is screaming NO!  As the father of a puppy, I just laugh.  She will soon be an orderly young lady, but I’ll choose to enjoy the mayhem for now.  I love this creature. She makes me laugh.

We headed to St. Elmo’s, well actually the bar 1933, to meet our friend Paul, another wise man although quirky. I say quirky in the right way; I’m a fellow quirk; that’s why Paul and I get along well. We had Bailey in toe, my Queen as well, Bailey drove, and we arrived to enjoy a couple of drinks ending our best year ever.   Paul likes it when I share his wisdom in my soup, but last night he didn’t say anything worth a shit, so Paul, work on your word set, and you’ll make the soup!

We came home, Bay and I played some cards, the Queen cooked we ate, Bay-headed home, the Queen and I watched some mind-numbing content before retiring to bed. I woke up fresh, let the pup out, and started making this soup. Sorry if I’m a little terse today; I tried to dot in some Anson humor. Hopefully, it hit; if it offended, I’m sorry, never my intent.

I’m going to have our brains scanned and our DNA mapped to get our best nutritional path forward. This idea was a gift from Matt, my new friend. I’ll let you know the results. I think they might deem me crazy, and this soup might take on a new meaning, but for now, I’m a sane man with a viewpoint that may or may not be shared by others. Be reasonable; Jesus is coming. 

“Learning to let go of expectations is a ticket to peace. It allows us to ride over every crisis—small or large, brother-in-law or end-of-quarter office lockdown—like a beach ball on water. The next time a problem arises in your life, take a deep breath, let out a sigh, and replace the thought Oh no! with the thought Okay.”

— Martha N. Beck