Lockdown diary
Tough times, depressing news, gloomy outlook. Not uplifting at all. I’ve also been too serious in my writing, with all that greedy-fearful jazz. To lighten things up, I wanted to share some silly jottings and first world grievances from life under curfew, in the form of my daily lockdown diary.
Day 1:
Damn, should've got a haircut.
Day 2:
Reviewing my recent Amazon, Bigbasket orders - potato chips, yellow banana chips, pepper banana chips, grand sweets special mixture, mullu murukku, cut mango pickle, tomato pickle, pulikaychal paste, chikki, snickers. Essential food groups covered.
Day 4:
In Oggy and the Cockroaches, I can individually identify Joey, Markey and Dee Dee.
Day 5:
A kindergarten class on a Zoom call sounds just like group-discussion part of IIM admission process.
Day 7:
After 2 weeks of no school, kindergartner helpfully says: “You can also stop wearing underwear”.
Day 9:
COVID has caused me first world problems. Literally. No maid, cook or driver. So, first world problems like dishwashing, laundry, sweeping, mopping, cooking and cleaning.
Day 10:
A time when life itself seems ephemeral felt like the right time to discuss eternal truths with kiddo. The truths that embody our heritage, ensure our survival, drive our progress, protect us from charlatans and make it all worth while. So, I started teaching him sarcasm and multiplication.
Day 12:
Be warned, this is a hardcore elitist 1% of first world rant. Working from a home has demolished my demand estimation for Nespresso capsules. Run rate is at 4x of budget. Oblivious to my imminent stockout situation, Amazon refuses to classify this as an essential item eligible for lockdown delivery. That made me desperate enough to visit that ultimate 1% shopping destination in Bandra. Name rhymes with preachers casket. Where hipsters drown in paleo-keto-quinoa-kombucha-cage-free-artisanal-organic-kale-cold-pressed-stinky-cheese nonsense. Where salt isn’t white colour. Where all brands have ‘soul’ in their name. Where ‘gluten-free’ banana chips sell for 250 rupees for one kutti packet. Where I can’t find one civilized thing to eat in normal times. Guess the one elitist thing they don’t stock – Nespresso capsules.
Day 14:
Random musing. Somewhere, around now, there must be a sheepish founder of a unicorn-style start-up, on a Zoom call with his VC investor, going: “If you look at our March MIS, cash burn reduced sharply in second half”.
Director at Barclays Investment Bank
4 年Loved that line “If you look at our March MIS, cash burn reduced sharply in second half”. :-) Reminds me of that famous quote - Ask a man who slipped from the 80th floor, when he is falling past 25th floor, "How are you doing"... and he will say "so far so good!"
IPO II Venture Capital II Private Equity II Structured Debt II Rating& Business Advisory
4 年Atlast u have reached an eternal nirvana
Managing Director at Intugic Capital Management
4 年Nice article. You may PM me for shops that are stocking nespresso and possibly open now (breach candy area). Or you can send your drone and have a few sleeves collected from me.
Real estate | P&L | Private markets | Investments
4 年Totally got the coffee math wrong as well. - both demand and supply side. Now Amazon will deliver only after a month (hope they do). Till then reducing / rationing intake quantum.
Group Chief Operating Officer | Board Member | INSEAD MBA
4 年Thank you for this Anand! Well done! And guess you are not alone in your coffee stocking underestimation and search quest for new pods. :-) Stay safe and stay healthy!