Location, location, location

Is the grass always greener on the other side? One only needs to look at my life as an example and shape your own opinion… This question is really subjective, right? How do we truly know?

Let’s unpack this a little, I was born during winter of 1985 in Johannesburg, and I obviously had no inclination as to what would become of me. Born as a healthy baby, well, only until eight months old, my parents didn’t really know what had changed or what was going on. Even after diagnosis and well into my early years, they trod on eggshells because no one knew a lot about my condition or how long I would live for. When old enough for it to be explained to me, I didn’t even truly understand that I had a degenerative neuromuscular condition (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) or how that was going to affect the rest of my life… The doctors thought they did, and some other people might of said that I was doomed from the beginning, that there was no chance to succeed in life. Others, “He’ll live with his family for the rest of his life!”.

Boy were they wrong!!

To truly paint a proper picture, we need to look at my background to see what it was like. From a very young age, I went to a school for people with disabilities and learning difficulties. For the first time in my life, I was integrated with other people who had some form of disability. This was a great way for me to understand and realise that I was not the only one, that there are people who were more severely affected, as well as others who weren’t as affected by their conditions as I was. However, I never got the opportunity to often be around people who would be considered abled!

This was a big life lesson for me when I decided to leave home and be an adult, integrating with people who were physically not like me… Honestly, this decision kicked up a stir!! My family had only just gotten used to me moving around independently, because I only started using my own power wheelchair at the age of 18 and I was 19 when I actually got a full-time carer!

Truth be told, in my mid-teens, it was decided that I wouldn’t continue with school, a lot of that was because of being bullied, struggling with certain subjects and personal family matters that are not really appropriate for this type of blog. So, in my early 20s, there was really a big hill to climb, trying to find employment without a college or university level education like my peers. That in itself was challenging, but I was also up against the ignorance around disability, society looking at me with the medical model lens and the misconception around what people with disabilities are actually capable of!

Of late, the world has come to the realisation that, physically, it has not been designed for everyone and this obviously impacts those who live with disabilities rather severely. I know that I have mentioned this on numerous occasions, South Africa is light-years behind the USA, United Kingdom, Europe and other parts of the world in terms of how they support and have built infrastructure to cater to those who live with disabilities. I am of the opinion, that this can truly make an immense impact and can explain why a lot of my career was spent job hopping or being unemployed for extended periods of time… Job opportunities and interviews being too far away, always having to have a carer with me (which meant an extra person the office had to cater to) or employers moving to a new premises which was too far to travel to as a one car household.

Unfortunately, there is also the undeniable fact that people with disabilities are typically paid less than their non-disabled peers. Being paid less also made it difficult to find new employment opportunities. Wi-Fi and mobile data are not affordable like it is in the UK, remote working opportunities at the time were considered fairytale jobs, and moreover I was having to pay for very expensive private medical insurance because there is no NHS or suitable government support. All of these factors affect everyone, not just the disabled community, and it explains why unemployment is so high especially in the disabled community of South Africa.

When I look back at the 35 years I spent in South Africa, being underpaid, and undervalued became the stable constant in my career. Earning well below minimum wage while still having to spend over half of it on medical insurance. The reality is, without my family’s or my partners support, my standard of living in South Africa would have been far starker than it ever got. I also think that this is why it was so easy deciding to relocate to the UK!

This is where everything is changed for me!! I have been in England for 744+ days and there is truly no comparison! There is infrastructure that makes it possible for me to travel on public transport, yes, it is not perfect, but it is a whole new world for me! In contrast to South Africa, where I would never be able to accept a job that required me to travel on occasion for appointments, I now travel regularly, sometimes as far as Manchester. I am valued for my contributions in the workplace, I have opportunities in abundance and managed to grow my network by five times its original size in South Africa, I have a stable income, and on a treatment for my condition that never ever would have been available to me in South Africa.

Having all of these positive contributors to my life enabled me to get a job in tech with CityMaaS.io, which resulted in me being part of their pitch on BBC’s Dragons’ Den, and that is how I ended up at Mildon! Toby saw me on his television and that inspired him to reach out to me and have a conversation. I have come from an environment that inhibited my career progression, flown approximately 6000 miles, built a solid foundation, recently become a Diversity and Inclusion Consultant and I’m thriving!

Now, what I have shared, is not a definitive answer to the original question, it is merely my perspective based on my experience. There are definitive differences that can be analysed however, as there are still many important discussions to be had in South Africa around disability, levelling-up those with disabilities and the biggest hurdle of all, upgrading infrastructure to ensure that it can cater to everyone. There are also people in South Africa that have thrived and people in the UK who haven’t… Unfortunately, I could quite possibly be biased, because of the difference relocating to another country has made in my life and for my family!

Ultimately, comparing my life with yours or with anybody else’s is futile, we do not all live the same life, make the same decisions or have the same opportunities. All we can do, is hope that we make the right decisions to ensure that the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side.

Whether it is or isn’t, I’ll let you decide for yourself…