The Lobotomy Certificate

During a class I was attending, someone stood up and introduced a young man by saying that he was working toward a “lobotomy certificate.” The man was willing to let that pass, but when the presenter was questioned and she repeated exactly what she had said with smiling conviction, he corrected her by piping up with “phlebotomy certificate.”

For a solid week, I thought about that lobotomy certification. Would it be useful?

When job searching, people think about various certifications they could get to increase their marketability, like project management, accounting, or human resources certifications. It seems that these days, everyone must be certified in one thing or more just to compete. But if nearly everyone who is applying for a project management job is certified in project management, how does anyone stand out?

I think the answer to that is obviously the lobotomy certification. Who else has that? Nobody.

You never know when such a skill might come in handy in the workplace. And you’d be the only one able to do it. You would be invaluable.

Perhaps other useful certifications would include trepanation, clock winding, poop scooping, and ghost whispering.

What would you like to be certified in?

This post is adapted from a blog I originally wrote and posted in 2012.