LLQ – Lady Like Qualities

LLQ – Lady Like Qualities

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LLQ (LADY LIKE QUALITIES)

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Officers of the Defence Services (Army, Navy and Air Force) are required to be Gentlemen.

Accordingly – Military Officers’ Wives – Wives of Defence Service Officers – they are expected to be Ladies – hence the term “Lady Wife” for Wives of Military Officers.

All “Military Officers” are required to possess OLQ (OFFICER LIKE QUALITIES)

But – do all “Military Officers’ Wives” display LLQ (LADY LIKE QUALITIES)…?

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Let me delve deep into my Humor in Uniform archives and pull out this story for you to enjoy and ponder over.

Those days – in the 1970’s – Kochi was called Cochin – and – Mumbai was called Bombay.

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THE “PERFECT NAVY WIFE” WITH “LADY LIKE QUALITIES” (LLQ)

Hilarious Memories of My Wonderful Navy Life

Story By Vikram Karve

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LLQ – LADY LIKE QUALITIES

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Part 1

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THE OFFICER

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Cochin (Kochi) – circa 1977

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“Can you carry a small packet and deliver it to my wife…?” the officer asked me.

“Sure, Sir…” I said.

“Thanks. Just some Ayurvedic Medicines – that’s all. I’ll come on board your ship tomorrow and give it to you…” he said.

“Sure, Sir – no hurry – we are leaving day after tomorrow morning…” I said.

The officer was a friend of my ex-shipmate – who had been posted to Cochin a few months ago – and with whom I was having a drink in the Navy Club at Cochin (now Kochi).

The officer had joined us for a drink – my ex-shipmate had introduced me – and when the officer came to know that my ship was going to Bombay (now Mumbai) – he requested to me to carry a packet and deliver it to his wife in Bombay.

Since my ex-shipmate was calling him “Sir” – I too addressed him as “Sir” – and when he came on board the next day – I noticed that – though he wore two stripes of a Lieutenant like me – he had the green coloured 9 year long service ribbon.

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Those days – in the 1970’s – after being commissioned as an Officer in the Navy – it took 3 years to become a Lieutenant.

(A Navy Lieutenant is equivalent to an Army Captain)

And then – you remained a Lieutenant for 8 long years – before being promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Commander – after a total of 11 years of commissioned service.

After the AVSC Cadre Review in 2004 – Naval Officers become Lieutenant Commanders in 6 years service – so – they remain Lieutenants for only 3 to 4 years.

However – prior to AVSC 2004 – you remained in the rank of Lieutenant for 8 long years.

Hence – at the time of this story?–?there were “junior” Lieutenants?–?like me – and – “senior” Lieutenants?–?like the officer from Cochin?–?who wanted me to deliver a packet to his wife in Bombay (Mumbai).

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Next afternoon – just before lunchtime – the officer came to my cabin onboard my ship – and – he gave me the packet.

He also gave me a slip of paper on which was written his home address in NOFRA (Naval Officers’ Residents’ Association) – the Navy Township in Mumbai (then called Bombay)

“I am stuck here in Cochin for the next 3 months doing a bloody course…” he complained, sipping his beer.

“Cochin is a lovely place…” I said.

“I know – but my wife is in Bombay – and – as they say – there is no life without wife…” he remarked.

“Sir – we are stopping over for two days at Goa – and we plan to reach Bombay by Friday – so I will deliver your packet on Saturday or Sunday…” I said.

“No problem – I have already posted a letter to my wife in the morning about the packet…” he said.

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Around 45 years ago – in the 1970’s – when this story happened – writing letters was the common mode of communication – because junior officers did not have landline phones at home.

Going to the post office to make a “trunk call” was inconvenient – and – telegrams were for emergencies – and – of course – mobile phones had not yet been invented.

So – the best viable option for communication was “snail mail” (writing letters and sending them by post).

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Part 2

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THE OFFICER’S WIFE

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Bombay (Mumbai) – One Week Later

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On Saturday evening – I rang the bell of a flat on the 6th?floor of a high-rise building in NOFRA that housed Married Accommodation for Lieutenants.

A beautiful young lady opened the door.

I introduced myself.

“Yes, Yes – do come in…” she said in a mellifluous voice, “I got my husband’s letter two days ago – I have been expecting you today.”

“Sorry Ma’am – I could not come in the morning…” I said.

I handed her the packet her husband had sent from Cochin.

“Oh, come on – it was so nice of you to get the packet – do sit down – I will get you something to drink – what will you have…?” she said.

“Just a glass of water…” I said – and I sat down on the sofa.

I looked at the lady as she opened the fridge – took out a bottle of water – poured some in a glass – and brought the glass in a tray towards me.

I was impressed by the way she carried herself – she had so much élan, grace and poise.

She excused herself – she went into the kitchen.

Then – she came out – and – she said to me:

“Come on – have a drink – the bar is over there – and then – we will have dinner – you like chicken – don’t you – or – are you a vegetarian…?”

“Ma’am – please don’t take the trouble…” I said to her.

“What trouble…? There’s no trouble at all – my maid will do the cooking while we talk – in fact – it is you who have taken the trouble to deliver the packet – and – the least I can do – is to offer you a meal…” she said.

I felt uncomfortable having a hard drink alone in her company – so I asked for a soft drink – and she had one too.

I think she realized that I was feeling a bit awkward – so – she tried to put me at ease.

We talked – we had dinner – and the evening passed in a haze of delight.

As I rode my scooter back to ship – I thought about her – she was a?“Perfect Navy Wife”?– her social graces, her etiquette, her polish, her refinement, her poise.

Well – it is difficult for me to describe everything about her in words – so I will just say that she had all the?“Lady Like Qualities”.

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Part 3

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THE OFFICER and HIS WIFE

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US Club Mumbai – a few months later

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A few months later – I ran into her in the US Club Library.

Yes – it was the same?“Perfect Navy Wife”?with?“Lady Like Qualities”.

“Good evening, Ma’am…” I wished her.

“Oh, hello – how are you…?” she said politely.

Suddenly – her husband came in.?

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(He was the same officer who had given me the packet in Cochin to deliver to her in Mumbai)

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He looked at me.

He recognized me.

He smiled at me – a genuine smile – and he spoke to me in a friendly voice.

“Hey – How are you…?” he asked me.

“Hello, Sir – welcome back to Mumbai…” I said.

“Come – why don’t you join us for a drink – let’s go to the bar…” he said.

“Sure, Sir…” I said.

I walked down to the bar with the Naval Officer – and his lovely Wife – the “Perfect Navy Wife” with “Lady Like Qualities”.

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We sat down in the club bar – the “Perfect Navy Wife” with “Lady Like Qualities” – her husband – and Me.

Those days – it was the custom that the senior officer signs for the drinks – so the officer signed the bar chit to order drinks.

I noticed that his lady wife was giving me a rather curious look.

I smiled at her.

Suddenly – she looked directly at me – and – she spoke to me in a rather inquisitive tone.

“Why are you calling my husband “Sir”…? You are senior to him – aren’t you…?” she asked me.

“No Ma’am – your husband is senior to me…” I said.

“Really…? Are you sure…? I thought that you are senior to my husband…” she said.

“Of course I am sure – your husband is senior to me,” I said.

“That is surprising. You look so old and mature. That is why – when you came home the other day – I thought that you were senior to my husband…” she said to me.

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I did not know what to say.

I certainly did not look that “old” – as if I were an elderly “senior citizen”.

But – with my copious beard – bulky body size – and rather podgy physique – I certainly looked older than my age.

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So – I said to her:

“Yes, Ma’am – you are right – I do look a bit older than my age.

And – many persons do think that I am more senior than I actually am.

In fact – once a senior Lieutenant mistook me for a Lieutenant Commander – and he was surprised when he saw me in uniform next morning…”

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The husband of the “Perfect Navy Wife” with “Lady Like Qualities” – he seemed embarrassed by his wife’s remarks.

“Oh – all that doesn’t matter…” remarked her husband, the senior Lieutenant.

My?“inter-se?seniority” as compared to him – it may not have mattered to officer.

But – it did matter to his wife.

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Yes – as far as his wife was concerned – it was obvious that my?“inter-se?seniority” with her husband – it did matter to her.

Till now – she had thought that I was senior to her husband.

The moment she realized that I was junior to her husband – her demeanour towards me changed drastically.

Earlier – when she thought that I was senior to her husband – she had treated me with courteous obsequiousness – like – on the day I had visited her home.

But now – the moment she realized that I was junior to her husband – her behaviour changed totally – and – she was cold and frosty towards me.

The disdain with which she ignored my presence – her scornful vibes – all this made me feel uncomfortable.

So – I excused myself from their company after a drink – saying that I had to go somewhere.

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On my way back to the ship – I had a big laugh.

It was evident that her “Lady Like Qualities” – her?LLQ?– was quite?“selective”.

Yes – she certainly had “Selective LLQ”.

In fact – to put it bluntly – this Naval Officer’s Wife was lacking in?“Lady Like Qualities” (LLQ).

Her Naval Officer husband may have been a “Gentleman” – but she certainly did not display the attributes of a “Lady”.

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Epilogue

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LADY LIKE QUALITIES (LLQ)

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THE NAVY OFFICER’S WIFE

(Hope this is applicable to Army and Air Force Officers’ Wives as well)

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Here is quote from a NWWA (Navy Wives Welfare Association) booklet which encapsulates some prudent advice for a Naval Officer’s Wife:

“You don’t wear his (your husband’s) stripes…

There is no such thing as a “Senior Wife”…

There are Senior Officers – and most of them have wives.

There are Junior Officers – and some of them have wives.

All wives are Ladies…

You will not fawn over others and not expect others to fawn over you.

You will be yourself

And – your own manners, breeding and natural charm will shine through – leaving you with no need for any borrowed stripes – or other borrowed plumage…”

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PS:

There may have been a few exceptions who lacked “Lady Like Qualities” (LLQ) – like the one in the story.

However – most elegant Navy Wives who I met during my Navy Days – they were perfect ladies – Military Wives who had excellent LADY LIKE QUALITIES – or LLQ.

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Dear Reader:

Do tell us if you have seen Military Wives with perfect LLQ…?

Also – do tell us some hilarious episodes about “Military Wives” sans LLQ.

Have you come across Military Officers’ Wives who are not “Ladies”…?

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright ? Vikram Karve

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Disclaimer:

  1. This blog post is a fictional spoof, pure fiction, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
  3. E&OE

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Copyright ? Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:?https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/06/humor-in-uniform-perfect-navy-wife-with.html

Revised, Updated and Collated Version of My Humor in Uniform Stories Posted by me?Vikram Karvein my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at?6/10/2014 12:09:00 PM?at url:https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/06/humor-in-uniform-llq-lady-like-qualities.htmland at urls:?https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/06/military-wives-navy-wife-lady-like.htmland?https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/03/humor-in-uniform-olq-and-llq-story-of.htmland?https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/08/the-navy-wife-with-lady-like-qualities.htmland?https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/humor-in-uniform-llq-lady-like-qualities.htmlandhttps://karve.wordpress.com/2017/07/24/do-all-military-wives-display-lady-like-qualities/etc and?https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/12/20/llq-lady-like-qualities/?and?https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/09/21/humor-llq-lady-like-qualities-story-from-my-navy-days/?and?https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/03/30/senior-lady-a-misnomer/?and?https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/07/04/llq-lady-like-qualities-2/?and?https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/01/04/lady-like-qualities-llq-2/?and https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/09/23/humor-llq-lady-like-qualities/ etc

? vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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