Living and working on the edge

Ever since attending Steve Mitchell's brilliant #FWord Leadership Collective, and being asked to speak at the next one, I've been dwelling on the last year. A year leading ParkPlay; a year of Covid; most of a year of home schooling; a year away from friends, family, people; a year unlike any other. I keep coming back to one over-riding feeling, of being on the edge.

On the edge has a tantalising double meaning - it's a "precarious position" but also "a state of keen excitement, as from danger or risk". If there is one thing I've learnt about myself recently it's I love, I relish this feeling of being on the edge - the uncertainty, the unknown, the challenge and opportunities ahead, a book just waiting to be written. In this short blog I'm going to reflect a bit on the last year, and what being on the edge means to me.

Stepping into the unknown. At the end of 2019, I left the security of employment and stepped into the unknown, looking for a new challenge. I've done this before when I decided to quit a well-paid corporate telecoms job to get into sport. This time it felt like the right thing to do, a measured gamble that might pay off. I put myself out there and was fortunate to be introduced by the exceptional Scott Cain to Matt Willcocks, Steve Mitchell, Steve Denison and Jemima Bird who had developed the concept of ParkPlay. They were looking for someone to lead ParkPlay and I was the right person at the right time. Nothing was certain, there was no job, but it had huge potential and I jumped. Sometimes we have to embrace uncertainty and have confidence that good things will happen.

Following my gut, and my passion. The decision instinctively felt like the right one. On paper it might look like a fools errand, but sometimes you have to back your instincts. A great bunch of experienced, driven and talented people - tick. A great concept already with strong support - tick. An opportunity to really make a difference through sport and activity - tick. And the opportunity to join almost from day one and help shape it - tick. It ticked so many positive boxes. I've become a huge believer in following your gut and not over-analysing situations. (Malcolm Galdwell's book "Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" is a great read on this topic.) Leading ParkPlay was fulfilling a yearning desire to lead, to be my own person, to really make a difference and effect some real change. I also believe that in following my passion I am a better person, a better dad, a happier and more fulfilled husband, and a more equal member of my family. Trust your instincts - if something feels right it often is right, and the converse is also true.

Imposter syndrome. Great, so I am now CEO of a social enterprise, and we're months from launch. Suddenly I'm having doubts. I'm not sure I can do this. There is so much I don't know, so many things I have never done. I'm CEO but I'm also the only employee! This is ridiculous. Perhaps I should slink off and let someone else do this, it's not for me. The Directors are amazing, I can't possibly hold my own, I'm a fish out of water... Almost everyone feels like this at times, everyone has crises of confidence, just some hide it better than others. Asana's The Anatomy of Work Index 2021, which surveyed over 13,000 workers from around the world found that 62% of people experience Imposter Syndrome, with UK workers leading the charge in their belief that they are not as competent as others perceive them to be. To feel like an imposter sometimes is natural, and human. Embrace others' confidence in you.

The loneliness of an extrovert home worker. So then Covid happened. I won't dwell on the challenges firstly because I am a naturally positive person, and secondly because they pale into comparison with the things other people have had to go through in the last 12 months. But personally I have really struggled with the lack of stimulation, the lack of company and the lack of variety of home working. Flexible working is great but I for one can't wait until we get some variety back - bouncing ideas off each other, going for coffee together, and time alone at home for heads down work and contemplation. Everyone has to find the way of working that suits them best, and respect others' choices.

Failure to launch. 2020 was a year of frustration which could have overwhelmed us. We planned to launch in May, and then did in a limited way in late summer in Ealing and early autumn in Basildon. It wasn't the plan, but then plans went out of the window last year, or at least were constantly being rewritten and targets amended. We were lucky to have phenomenal support from Sport England, and personally a very supportive and understanding board. We rolled with the punches, and always focused on the positives. We had more time to plan and get it right, we learnt a huge amount when we could be live, and we laid brilliant foundations for the future. Be positive, control the controllables, and don't sweat the small stuff.

Every day's a school day. One of things I have loved most, and been scared by, is trying and doing new things. From interviewing people for our play story video content to running the first ParkPlay sessions, I've thrown myself into new challenges. The key is picking those things to do, and which to seek expert help with. I don't have huge experience with safeguarding for example, and this is not an area to take risks with. Better to put your hands up and admit weakness or lack of knowledge in key areas, but to throw yourself into others with no significant risk if you fail. If a video interview doesn't go well what's the worse that can happen? A CEO of a small organisation has to be hugely flexible and relish getting their hands dirty - one minute writing long-term funding strategies, another ordering t-shirts - and it's only when we try new things that we learn and develop. Enjoy learning, trying new things, getting stuck in but don't blag it.

Great things happen at the edge. Action = risk, there's just no getting away from it. It's only when we try new things that we learn and the danger of failure is inherent. I've had my share of failures over the last year, but learnt a lot from failing, and learnt how to deal with failure. As I am sure we all tell our kids so often, it's not about the failure itself but being humble enough to admit it, learn from it and improve in future. We also need to be able to judge when a risk is worth taking, and when ensure that decision is well informed. We can't take risks and be prepared to fail without a safety net. We all need the support of a good team, brilliant people that challenge, inspire and push us to better things. They enable us to take risks and we in turn have to empower others to do the same, giving them the confidence to do the right things and make the hard choices. Fail fast, fail often, fail safe and learn quickly.

Honesty is the best policy. Another lesson we give our kids we all need to follow! In the corporate world I always felt the need to be somebody others expected me to be. Perhaps it comes with age and a caring less about the views of others, but the last year has certainly given me more confidence to be myself and everything to have greater authenticity. I now genuinely care about what I am doing, and there is no pretence is speaking passionately about ParkPlay. It's the job I feel I was born to do. Don't be afraid of being open, passionate, vulnerable, yourself.

On the brink of something special. It's been a tough year, but it's also been a brilliant year. We're now tantalisingly close, only days away from kicking into gear and in bringing ParkPlay to 20 parks this summer converting promise into impact. It's already been one hell of a journey. I've learnt more about people, business and myself in the last 12 months than I did in the preceding 12 years. No two days have been the same and every day has presented a new challenge, and a new learning opportunity. I've never felt more alive, more contented, and whatever happens it will have been the best of times. Here's to being on the edge.