Living through COVID-19– shattered dreams and a changing world

Writing is cathartic. It's therapeutic and healing. And right now, I need healing. I don't know if writing about my experience of running a small business during COVID-19 is a good thing or not. Do I let my guard down and let my professional network have an insight into what I am going through, along with thousands of other small business owners? Or do I keep my game face on?

I have decided to share my story. I feel alone right now, as I am sure many business owners do. In these unprecedented times, I think it is essential to be open and honest. And hopefully, by sharing my story, others might feel like they are not so alone and that it will be ok.

Some of you reading this are clients, business colleagues, friends and partners. Some of you know what it has taken to get to this point in business. It hasn't been easy. It has been bloody tough. Growing a mid-tier strategic marketing consultancy across countries is a demanding gig and I have given it my all.

As I turned 40 last year, I reflected on what a milestone it was celebrating in Singapore. I was only starting to feel like I was kicking some serious goals and getting somewhere in my expansion endeavours after years and years of hard work and sacrifice. I was beginning to see a return finally on the hard work, blood, sweat and tears! 

Fast forward two months to January 2020 and something called COVID-19 appears in my news feed. Some horrible infectious disease in Wuhan, China. At first, it was all so far away. Closer than if I was in Australia, but it wasn't in my immediate backyard – not yet. Scary and unfortunate but not something that was occupying my mind 24/7.

It only took a few weeks before COVID-19 started making headlines, especially in Singapore. In late January, significant events were cancelled, and COVID-19 was beginning to dominate boardroom discussions. Precautionary measures were taken; meetings were being deferred or taking place over the phone; people were starting to work from home. It was real.

Still, the business was booming. We were winning more work, winning new programs…I hired several new people to meet increased demand. All the while, COVID-19 was looming in the background. Although the Bak Kut Teh restaurant at the bottom of my office building was suddenly quiet, no more buses of Chinese tourists and long lines of people waiting to get in, my office upstairs was bustling.

My team, family, friends and loved ones back home, still didn't quite understand the gravity of what was taking place in the region. Life was normal there. In Singapore, COVID-19 had crept into daily life. We were reminded to wash our hands regularly, use hand sanitizer, keep our distance from others, opt for phone calls rather than physical meetings. Office buildings were checking temperatures, as were schools and restaurants. COVID- 19 was happening. But while COVID-19 was mainly contained in Asia, it was business as usual – as long as life was relatively normal in other parts of the world, the business was thriving.

While the potential business threat caused by COVID-19 was very much top of mind, I wasn't prepared for the speed at which things started to change. It's incredible how things can change in a blink of the eye literally.

I teach entrepreneurship, and in our programs, we often discuss the roller coaster ride of entrepreneurship – the extreme highs and frightening lows. I have experienced it all running my business for the last 12 years. I have experienced the highs, lows and everything in between (and a few times too).

I have been happy and pumped, to curling up in a ball frightened and not wanting to move. I have made fantastic progress. Other times, I have fallen flat on my face. But I always bounce back. Entrepreneurs have the resilience and inner strength to do this.

But nothing could prepare me for this. The business changed in all but a week. As COVID-19 spirals out of control, our clients have started suffering around the world. The first thing to be slashed is marketing spend. And marketing companies like mine are in the firing line. From one call to another to another, COVID-19 continues to rear its ugly head as the cause for businesses having to press pause.

Despite the highs and lows, this is different. It feels like having the rug pulled out from underneath your feet for no fault of your own. In a way, I am grieving. All around me, dreams are shattered. Businesses are closing their doors, and owners are giving up on their dreams because of this insidious virus.

I have seen businesses and leaders making rash decisions, not thinking things through and shooting from the hip. People have lost kindness and respect out of sheer panic.

This last week has been my most challenging yet. As a business owner, you have so much responsibility. You are responsible for your staff as well as your own livelihood. When faced with such uncertainty and when you have worked so hard in your business, you do everything you can to survive. Do I stay in Singapore with the business that I have fought so hard for? Or get on the last plane back to Australia before borders close? Do I turn my back on the dream after 12 years of hard work? Is this the straw that finally broke the camels' back? So many questions.

There are business owners all around the world experiencing the same pain, emotion, grief and stress. Just when you want to crawl into a ball, you need to show up, be present and strong. But we need to call it out. We need to support one another. We need to buy from small businesses and ensure that small businesses are not stamped out. Supporting small businesses supports jobs.

Let’s talk about what is going on. Let’s stay connected even though we are more isolated than ever. And above everything, we need to remember kindness, not only in the broader community but in business too. We are all in it together. We will come out the other side and business will resume but in a changing world. Let's not be irrational. Let's be creative and think outside-the-box. We need to help each other get through this.

As they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...let's not let COVID-19 wipe out small businesses and shatter any more dreams.