Living in the Shadow of the Virus

It’s time to come right out and say it – I’m scared.

A few years ago I broke my arm in the middle of SCUBA season. I waited until the end of the season for an X-ray and subsequent cast. This was long before my brain injury, so we can’t blame lack of executive function on that choice.

“You are clearly not an alarmist,” My doctor shared without a smile.

When you’ve seen as much life as I have, you get used to the fact that pain, loss and hardship are as much a part of life as are joy, love and happiness. Pendulums do indeed swing two ways.

But oi, what we are living with now… I find it to be pretty scary stuff.

We have our moments, Sarah and I. A couple of times, Sarah spoke of what amounted to spikes in her anxiety. For me, it’s more like a low-grade never-ending panic right beneath the surface. If I slow down and think about things, I get so totally freaked out that I almost feel paralyzed.

“You are clearly not an alarmist.”

At this time in the linear timeline of humanity, I don’t want to be like most everyone else. But I am.

Having been out of town last week, and coming home to a home ill-prepared for a long-term siege, I had to put on my animal fur, grab a sharpened wooden spear and go out hunting. Over the last couple of days, we’ve stocked up a bit, but the mixed messages are so confusing.

“Don’t hoard. Be nice and share.”

“Buy enough of the home basics to last a month (or more.)”

With such mixed and seemingly conflicting messages, what’s a homebody to do?

My concern about the current state of affairs is quite justified. Of this, I am quite certain. I am both a diabetic as well as a brain injury survivor. Being diabetic puts me in the Very High Risk category.

Having a brain injury, with occasional executive function challenges, means that I can’t always trust that that still small voice inside has my best interests at heart. For example, I’ve been fighting the urge to head to our local market today.

“Ya know, they might have _____ in stock today,” the inner voice shouts.

“”Worse still, if you miss out today, you might never be able to buy _____ again for as long as you live.”

It’s tormenting.

But the nice thing about being me is that I am hard-wired to look for solutions. I’m kind of blessed that way.

As the current state of affairs may (and will most likely) go on for several months, I am beginning to define a long-term life strategy to live by. Most everything is subject to change these days, but heck, I need to start somewhere.

Here are my top life tips for Living in the Shadow of the Virus…

STICK TO THE SAME SCHEDULE. I am a creature of habit. So much of life today is surreal. I am making a conscious effort to still roll out of bed at 6:45 AM like I always do. I am at my desk by 8:00 AM. Somewhere around mid-morning I take a break and make breakfast for Boo and I. Early afternoons are meant for cycling – the ultimate Social Distancing sport. Dinner is around 5:30… and the beat goes on. While I am completely powerless over the events at large, at home, under our roof, I can stick to familiar routines. It’s healthier for me - and those around me.

BE CAREFUL OF NEWS OVERLOAD. Last week I found myself obsessively checking my USA Today app almost every hour. What’s closed now? What are the numbers looking like? How many people have died? Frankly, I completely burned myself out. It was exhausting and non-sustainable.

My TBI haunts me at times like this as I have the tendency to get hyper-focused on things in a way that I never did before my injury. By the time Monday of this week rolled around, I was seeing double from sheer exhaustion.

My strategy now is to watch a bit of the national news first thing in the morning – something that I’ve done for decades. But there is no need to start my day with ninety minutes of abject terror and fear. I can learn all I need to learn from 7:00 AM to 7:30 AM watching CBS This Morning.

Anything more than that is simply an exercise in torturing myself.

I WILL NOT ISOLATE. Sarah and I have both been working from home for a very long time. Close to 20 years for me, and a few for her. Thankfully, there was no learning curve for either of us this week as most employers all but mandated a work-from-home policy.

We got up yesterday and today and did what we always do – we went to work. But isolation is still very real. A couple of nights a week, I used to head out to meetings of a 12 step program that I am part of. This was a bit part of my social life that has now been instantly removed.

My strategy now is to makes sure that I speak with a couple of friends on the phone IN REAL TIME, every day. I refuse to isolate behind texts and emails. All of us who share this thing called humanness are hard-wired to need social contact.

Extreme, almost instantaneous and forced isolation messes people up. It plays with the mind, and can cause all kinds of nasty things to happen. Me? I am rather fond of feeling reasonably well. Planning human contact as part of the ebb and flow of my daily life is not an option – it is a must!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I’ve read and seen a few people talking about this as the “New Normal.” Sorry to disagree, but I disagree.

There is nothing normal about the possibility of a National Quarantine.

There is nothing normal about the entire USA coming to a screeching halt.

There is nothing normal about slamming the doors of Disneyworld shut and saying Though Shall Not Pass.

None of this is normal. Not. One. Bit.

But it will pass. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. There will come a time when this is all in the rear-view mirror of life. We have a Great Unknown in that it could indeed be months. But it is what it is. At some point, to be determined by things none of us have any control over, the pandemic will run its course. Life will come around again.

LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITY AMIDST THE STORM. Here’s one that not a stretch – Sarah and I are both looking for ways to look through a different prism, one of service. Yesterday I picked up something at our local store for the young family next door. They have a new shiny baby, and are understandably hesitant to go out. We were able to help them out, to help keep them safe.

Last night I hosted a support group meeting using a conference call service. It was wonderful to hear a whole bunch of my peeps just talking things up, happy to “be” together, albeit remotely.

As we move forward though an uncertain future, we’ll continue to find unexpected opportunities to be of service. If we can, you can too.

A huge thank you to Disney for releasing Frozen II early. Tonight Sarah and I are having a Movie Night. After dinner, I’ll pop up some popcorn, and we’ll hunker down for some fun.

A bit part of not simply surviving, but thriving in today’s reality involves attitude. Look for sadness and stiff, and surely you’ll be successful. But look for opportunity and the Universe will reveal things you least expect.

Wash your hands often… then do it again.

Peace.

~David