On Living Our Values

The last couple of weeks have been quite fun and full for me.

Two weekends ago, I took Babs into the mountains with my brother and nephew. One final trip with the boys while I'm a Colorado resident and a chance for us to connect without outside distraction. Spending time with other men, especially in nature, is something I deeply appreciate and I was grateful to offer that opportunity to my nephew.

We talked about what it means to be a man and to lead in the world, took in the beauty of pristine nature, touched water, and sat in silence.

The Monday after, I got a new tattoo. It's a character I never imagined I'd get and on a part of my body I never imagined but is an incredibly meaningful expression of one of my values: be fun. You can check it out here (and follow me on Insta for life updates!) with added commentary. It's silly and playful and I laugh whenever I talk about it. It reminds me that life isn't too serious.

While quite different in tone, the two sets of plans are each perfect indicators of my values. They're representations of who I want to be and how I want to live.

In the coaching or personal development world, we can get a bit in our heads about what it means to live our values (myself included, thus the "we"). It's easy for me to get uptight about being a man of integrity or making an impact in the world. They're concepts that can quickly turn serious. Conversations suddenly need to "go deep" to have value or meaning. Deep becomes weighty in a blink.

From the outside, it's a pretty annoying habit, though well intentioned. Because the other side of the coin is that I don't want to only be in surface-level conversations or to try to force positivity when stuff feels crunchy and difficult.

Our human experience includes all of it -- mountain-side serenity, depth and consciousness, absurdity and light humor, and more. And every moment is a chance to choose to let ourselves open to it or close (no make-wrong for either choice).

I find it's only when I get locked into one particular aspect of my identity that I lose the other things I value. Trying to show up as responsible to the coach crowd can mean I lose my silliness. Aiming to fit in at a sports game and I can drop the sensitive, feeling little boy who wants to share deeply.

My intention is to continue expanding to include everything I am, everything I value, and to ask for a life that matches. That includes looking for which values I'm honoring throughout my day -- not from a place of pass/fail but from curiosity and wonder because those are also things I value. And then graciously receiving what I ask for, even when I'm not sure I can handle it.

Wishing you a weekend filled with all the parts of you, however you choose, no matter how silly.

Love.

Matt