Living in a Loneliness Epidemic with Social Media

Is Your Life Plagued by Loneliness?

Loneliness is a very real and detrimental issue to not only the older among us..it is something that you, yourself propagate as well. We elect people who, in effect want to harm us by delineating social services..that make a very real difference in our lives.

Let’s use an example..a person with MS and mobility issues. ,, no longer drive, for both yours and our own safety. Although they stay in touch by a phone..

But..they read and I write. I “have gotten to know” many of you..and yes, I would feel remiss without you. This is real conversation that you and I are having now. Social media is not a catch all for blame.

We all have our proclivities, wants, talent and needs. There are those, like myself that actually prefer solitary conversation these days (yes there is such a thing) and some use of social media fits the bill.

My use of “social media” does not abdicate your or my own social responsibility to lonely people though. If you recognize the problem then you have a responsibility to help and make positive changes in both your and another’s life.

 How?

Talk with an older neighbor..mow lawns..take a person grocery shopping or pick up prescriptions..call a local agency and ask what services an older individual is in need of..thank you for caring. 

I have heard gut-wrenching stories of profound and deep loneliness. My personal and professional experiences with loneliness have moved me to better understand and treat this multi-dimensional problem.

Simply defined, loneliness is a condition of relational disconnection, social awkwardness and prolonged bouts of solitude.

Lonely people often struggle with anxiety and depression, which renders them insecure and pessimistic about finding desirable and compatible friendships.

Poor self-esteem and an underdeveloped sense of one's worthiness, likeability and attractiveness prevent the lonely person from taking risks and venturing out into new relationships.

Hence, they typically lack confidence and emotional energy to pursue new relationships or nurture existing ones. As a chronic condition, it can be emotionally and psychologically debilitating.

Contrary to what many people believe, loneliness isn't just a result of being alone or an absence of friends. It is a deeper problem that is caused by thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, imperfection and shame.

Chronically lonely people are often holding onto pessimistic and bleak predictions about the prospects of finding companionship, social connections and supportive relationships.

The lonely often suffer in silence.

For many, it is hidden behind a facade of normalcy. While smiling and having fun, many hide their core feelings of loneliness.

For these people, loneliness is not a reflection of what is happening in their lives at any given moment, but what occurs secretively and silently within them.

When around people they know, they pretend to be upbeat, positive and happy, while at the same time feeling unworthy and insecure. Since it is a shame-based experience, it is typically kept a secret.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a bstitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.    

Thank you … Lonely people inadvertently put themselves in a catch-22 situation:

Social opportunities seem like a heavy burden fraught with the potential of rejection or abandonment.

The more you feel lonely, the more you feel inept and unworthy, the more you quit believing anyone will ever like or love you, the more you isolate.

With a belief of potential rejection or abandonment, the lonely person is unable to put their best foot forward in any given social situation. Hence, loneliness feeds on itself.

Paradoxically, lonely people believe they are essentially unworthy of healthy and mutually respectful relationships with loving, affirming and mutually giving individuals.

They imagine that if they were to tell someone they are lonely, it would scare them away. Therefore, they are attracted to people who, like themselves, are similarly lonely, needy and insecure.

Want to add word or two?  

Life is too short to waste on suffering from core loneliness.

Please heed to my suggestion: Open up, take a chance and access the hidden part of you that deserves true and loving companions. Heal your childhood wounds.

Learn to love yourself and eliminate loneliness from your life!

Your comment ….?

Replace negative self-talk with affirming messages, such as, "I am perfectly lovable just as I am," and "I welcome love, friendship and support into my life."

Fight the urge to isolate. Isolation validates your fears that you are not worthy of the love and support you absolutely deserve. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do exactly that which you are dreading -- like putting yourself out there.

 Weed out the toxic relationships and create space in your life for relationships that fuel your spirit. You can't grow lovely succulent vegetables with a large patchwork of weeds.

Nurture your support network. Even if there is only one person to start with, you can build on it. Don't underestimate the importance of what you have to offer.

Expand your social network. Online social sites are an ideal place to meet people and to explore hobbies, interests and social groups.

 Open you self-up, take risks, and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Since loneliness results in isolation, experiment by sharing aspects of yourself, including experiences, feelings, memories, dreams, desires, etc. This will help you feel more known and understood.

Ask for what you need. Find your voice. Tell people what you need from them to alleviate the loneliness. Friends respond to direct messages for help and support. Give it a try, you might be surprised!

Take action. Don't wait for an invitation. Be willing to take a risk, be proactive and invite people to share in your life, whether it is for coffee, lunch, a walk, an event or a gathering in your home.

Recognize the importance of being alone and enjoying solitude. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. Peace, quiet, freedom, space and the opportunity to connect with your deeper self.

Consider therapy. Counseling is something that is healthy and proactive that can help you overcome the self-defeating behaviors that exacerbate loneliness. With the support of a therapist, you can change your thinking and relationship patterns and achieve the life you want!

People who experience interpersonal relationships as threatening may find the nonjudgmental nature of pets especially beneficial.

The nonjudgmental aspect of pets really provides support, more so than the support that would be provided by a person,