Living a Life of Purpose

THERE IS A LOT OF TALK THESE DAYS ABOUT "PURPOSE" AND VISION, AND THE WAYS TO GO ABOUT FINDING THEM. PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY SEEKING THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION, “WHAT IS MY PURPOSE IN LIFE?” 

A perspective on the matter:

The other day, during a coaching session, the topic of discussion shifted to "purpose." I found myself being asked about my own purpose in life – something I rarely discuss with clients because it can come across as being overly religious or spiritual, which is not something that resonates with all clients.

But on this particular occasion, I chose to open up and said, “I was born as a messenger of truth and my purpose is to communicate hope and inspiration.” Naturally, the next questions were, “How did you come up with that?” and “How do I find my purpose?”

Rather than giving my canned response of directing them to books (such as Simon Sinek's Find Your Why, Kevin McCarthy's The On-Purpose Person, or Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life), videos, or creating a process on the fly, I honestly said, "I didn't come up with it. It was given to me in prayer.”  The coachee, who was curious about what I meant, ask me to explain further. I shared the following:

I always had an inkling from when I was eight years old that I was born to express ideas, either through the written word or as a speaker, that made a difference in people’s lives. In fact, my teachers would always compliment me on how good I was at writing and speaking and would encourage me to pursue it as a profession. But because I also excelled in math and science and my dad was paying for my education, I chose to study chemical engineering to have a job at the oil refinery when I returned home. 

Long story short, I didn’t return home, got married, had three girls, and later divorced. During those years, I worked as a chemical engineer, raised a family, started a consulting business, and became an author.  Also, when I felt lost and wanted to reconnect with that eight-year-old,  I would surf the web to identify what questions to ask or processes to use to find my purpose. And every time I would give up seeking because there were too many questions and processes.  I figured there had to be a shorter way, with fewer questions. But since having a purpose wasn’t critical, I put finding it on the back burner. 

It wasn’t until my divorce, forty-two years later, when I was compelled to pray to Spirit after exhausting all other avenues to find relief from pain and suffering, that my purpose was given to me. I heard the words, you are my messenger of truth and your purpose in life is to communicate hope and inspiration. I wrote it down immediately and would revisit my sheet of paper daily to make sure that was truly my calling, i.e. what I was supposed to be doing. 

Needless to say, it was my purpose all along. I used writing and speaking in my work as an engineer, an author, and currently as a consultant. In fact, one of my key roles in the business is to create provocative content to cause transformation. I live my purpose daily.

A few things of note about purpose: 

WITH TIME, I CAME TO UNDERSTAND THAT RECEIVING MY PURPOSE:

1. Meant believing it was given to me by my Creator AND that It cannot be sought and found, like playing a hide and seek game. It is an expression of a gift and talent I was born with. 
2. Depended on who I was asking the question of. When asking questions to find your purpose, did you ever wonder who you were asking? I didn’t.  It seemed as if I was asking Spirit (heart) but I found out all those questions were of ego (head).  How could I tell? Ego is the part of ourselves who instills doubt with questions; relishes being hidden; thrives on chaos; motivates through fear; seduces through need (our longing for more); entraps with guilt; lashes out with anger; gives the impression it can save you when in fact, it is only playing a game to keep you loyal to it. The ego always asks questions. Spirit rarely does.
3. Required asking one question this way, “Dear Creator, – Spirit, Mother Earth, however, you define it – who do you say I am?” and not the many questions that are listed on the internet, such as, “ What makes me happy?” “If I won the lottery today, how would I spend the rest of my life?” “What am I good at?” “What gives my life meaning?” "What is my purpose in life?" “Who am I?" “Why was I born?”  and on and on.  Switching up the question to say something like, “Dear Creator, tell me who I am” will prolong receiving an answer. You must ask it as it is.
4. Entailed quieting my mind to hear the answer. If you believe purpose comes from Spirit and is of the Heart, then you probably know already that to receive a purpose, you must be willing to quiet your mind (ego), ask your creator the question and listen to hear the answer. A purpose can come while you are praying, meditating, dreaming, practicing yoga, exercising, in a song you are singing out loud in your car, a whisper, and many other avenues (not google). For some of us, it may take a lifetime to hear - for others, days.  For me, it crystallized during my divorce. Either way, be patient and listen for it.

Lastly, being given a purpose is not a simple, formulaic quest. You may want to answer the question, “Do I really want to know my purpose?” before asking to receive it. Having a purpose AND “living” it (remaining obedient) is different. 

Living it can be confrontational to the ego because of the laser-focused direction purpose provides.  The ego can cause you to doubt and put obstacles in your way until you eventually abandon your purpose.  If you have a purpose and are not acting on it, you are probably caught in your ego asking the following: Am I being held back by the fear of knowing my purpose?  Am I afraid it will require too great a sacrifice? Will it alter my current life balance? Get out of your head and recommit to the purpose.

Also, when you do hear your purpose, write it down immediately, and drop the TRCG team an email about what it is.  We do want to support you in “living” your purpose.