Living with less

Less is more...

When I was 8 my parents divorced.? My dad was the organized, tidy one in the house.? Without him, the piles started to accumulate….

On the kitchen counters…

On the dining room table…

On the stairs, oh the stairs.? Little piles on each one of things that will eventually “be picked up, on the next trip up”... the next trip that never came.??

It was a source of shame for me.? I felt embarrassed to bring friends over.? I wondered why we couldn’t just be “normal” and organized, like “everyone else”.?

When I did have friends over I would gather up the clutter into laundry baskets, bins and bags and hide it- in closets, under furniture, in the basement, wherever it could be stashed until someone needed something they couldn’t find and everything would be carted back out of hiding.??

I guess for me it was a reflection that we didn’t “have it all together”.? The reality is we were all suffering from dealing with our pain and adjusting to? our new normal.??

We were dealing with sadness, a lack of motivation and a sense of deep loss.??

But in my childhood brain it mattered a lot.??

Cleaning and organizing was my way to have some sense of control over my environment.? I was sad and didn’t have any control over the situation.? In some way, organizing felt like I was contributing, like I was making things more “normal”.??

Divorce is tough.? Pain and depression can manifest in myriad ways.? For us, the house was a reflection of how we were feeling.? For others, maybe they obsessively clean and organize which isn’t healthy either.?

What this experience taught me was how much your environment can impact the way you feel.?

When I eventually went on to boarding school at 13 I had a chance to create my own environment. Over the ensuing years I would move an additional 20 times, living in different cities, houses, apartments and condos.? Each move was a chance to show my personal sense of style.? From my “Princess room” at Dalhousie (with a four poster bed and white canopy)? to my beautifully designed shoe box in the sky by Farah Altouma and organized by Merchandised Maison, each move was an opportunity to create a sense of comfort and control.?

I feel best when my environment is organized. My family members all now happily live in cluttered homes and are 100 percent o.k. with it! They don’t sweat the small stuff and that works for them!??

Meeting Shelley and having her lovingly go through my things with me to create an organized system was a catharsis in so many ways.? From holding on to items that truly no longer served me because they were gifted to me to keeping multiples of everything to avoid a sense of scarcity or emptiness, Shelley made me realize what matters and how living with less gives you so much more.?

With less,

I feel lighter...

Like there is more room and space to admire and enjoy my things.

I feel less confined.

Can living with less "stuff" really do that?

If you ask me and many of her other clients, it's a resounding “yes”.? But for others, I am sure the inverse is true.?

Do I have it all together? Definitely not. Do I feel better when my space is organized and less cluttered, heck yes!?

The point is that if you don’t like how you are living and you want to make a change you can.

When you feel good about your space and how you are living your self-esteem soars.? You feel proud, accomplished and in control.??

Don’t let your pain dictate how you live, actively choose how you want to live.

If it means “more stuff” I support you

If it means “less” I support you too.?