Living Leadership

As a child, growing up with seven brothers and sisters, it never occurred to me that other children didn't experience the same love and acceptance that I did.

I don't mean the love of a parent for their child, by the way, nor siblings for each other (though I know that these can't always be taken for granted!), I mean a wider, more open and non-judgemental love that welcomed those from other backgrounds with open arms.

You see, I was a child of the 60's and it wasn't until I was much older that I realised how much prejudice, intolerance and discrimination there was in this world. But not at number 37, Parkhill Road, the home where I was fortunate enough to spend my early years.

My parents didn't have a lot of wealth, they didn't have a large house with fancy furniture, a new car or foreign holidays, we didn't even have a fridge! But what they did have was so much more valuable than any of those things; what they had was an ability to see past the outward appearance of anyone, and welcome every soul as a unique and important guest in our home.

From the day we were born, we learned that all people are equal, no matter what their background, their education, their wealth, their age, their health, or where they come from. We discovered the richness of diversity, the beauty of old age, the wisdom of different cultures, and the respect that each person who entered our home had for the parents who brought us up.

We saw our parents give time to the unlovely, the lonely,the lost, and we learned to do the same. We learned that every voice matters, and every life counts.

Today, as I reflect on the brokeness I so often see around me, I admire even more deeply, the foresight and compassion my parents had, and I believe it has much to teach us about the true nature of effective leadership. I hope, as I share these thoughts with you, that you will take a moment to reflect on my words, and ask yourself also, if there isn't something you can learn from these two very special people I have the honour of calling my parents.

So what do their lives and actions teach us?

• That true leaders don't need to demand obedience; they live out their leadership in such a way that you can't help but follow their example.
• That the only way to stamp out bigotry and discrimination, isn't by making one person more important than another, it's by treating all people as equals from the moment they are born. It's about showing respect to everyone in the way you speak to them, no matter who they are.
• That everyone has the right to be heard; that the art of listening is one of the most precious gifts we can give, for it not only validates a person's own sense of self-worth, it shows them that there is no need to grasp attention by demonstrations or violence, for their opinion is worthwhile and will be fully, and empathetically considered.
• That none of us knows everything, and no question is ever too silly, or too stupid to ask, for arguments are only ever caused by ignorance or false assumptions and who knows what pain can be prevented by asking that one simple question.

As I close, I hope you will take a moment to reflect: ask yourself if you are living out your leadership as my parents did, and if not, make a decision now that you're ready to change. You will find that all you do, your work, your relationships, and your family will benefit in ways you could never have imagined possible, trust me, you won't regret it!