Living with High-Functioning Anxiety - A personal story

It has actually taken me a very long time to realise I have high-functioning anxiety.

I'm not sure if it was denial, the fact that I had built a wall of coping mechanisms, or maybe it was the fact my anxiety crept up on me like an insidious shadow. But somewhere along the way, every day became more and more of a struggle.

Given it’s Mental Health Awareness Week (15th-21st May 2023), and the theme is ‘anxiety’ - I wanted to take this opportunity to talk about my lived experience with high-functioning anxiety, and share with you some of my coping mechanisms that help me get by day-to-day.

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My Relationship with High-Functioning Anxiety

I wake in the night panicking about random things; I manage to convince myself that a headache is something much worse, I redraft emails over and over because I'm fearful I'll say the wrong thing, I don't sing karaoke because I'm afraid I’ll be judged, I keep myself busy at work all day and don't give myself time to relax, I’m terrified before any flight I catch, and yes when it rains I check my house foundations because I struggle to trust that the ground won't collapse under me.

And unless you know me really well, you would have absolutely no idea that this goes on.

People see someone that is confident, funny and energetic. But I feel rehearsed, compensating and nervous. Some days are worse than others. So are some weeks, seasons (Winter), and I have to work really hard on my coping mechanisms to get by.

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Coping Mechanisms for Managing High-Functioning Anxiety

Whilst there’ll be some of you out there that can relate to my story, I wanted to share with you some of the coping mechanisms that help me to get by, living with high-functioning anxiety.

These might not work for everyone, but mine are:

• Education. Understanding why your body and mind are reacting this way can be helpful when you have to reason logically with yourself. For example, did you know that your body is naturally more anxious during the night to increase your vigilance to predators? Also, for all of you nervous flyers, pilots are incredibly highly trained not to crash their planes.
• Knowing your triggers. There are two ways to approach this. Avoiding your triggers so you aren't set off, or facing them. Sometimes I face the fact that I do have a harmful medical condition (anxiety). On the other hand, I do make an effort to avoid listening to/reading the news so I don't hear negative stories that may make me worry even more.
• Access to nature. Especially water. Something about it clearing your empath energy almost always restores me.
• Know when to get help and what that help is. When you go through a bad spell, it can be particularly challenging to think clearly, so it is useful to know in advance (i.e. make a draft right now) who to call for help when you need it. I have different people I call for different things. Someone who Googles medical conditions for me and provides me with an objective summary when I am too convinced of an extreme outcome, someone who will force me to rest when I am feeling overwhelmed, someone who can provide me access to medical support.

These things may not ‘fix’ the problem completely, but it helps to keep it 'High Functioning'. I'm not keen on that term myself, but it is probably the best description that exists.

This article has been written by a Lexxic Team Member who kindly offered to share their lived experience.

Below are some links that you can visit, if you feel you need support with your mental health:

• www.anxietyuk.org.uk
• www.samaritans.org
• www.sane.org.uk
• www.mind.org.uk
• www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/how-to-access-mental-health-services/ or via GP surgery
• www.mentalhealth.org.uk

#ToHelpMyAnxiety #Anxiety #AnxietyAwareness #HighFunctioningAnxiety #LivedExperience #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek