Living Beyond Death: The Subconscious Pursuit of Immortality

We are all going to die. Even when we do not want to think about it, time marches on, and memories of us will fade. Knowing these two truths drives us to do something most do not even realize we are doing. We are unconsciously, or in some cases, consciously searching for ways to secure our memory and feel a sense of immortality.

Wanting memories of us to live on comes in many forms. It can be as simple as creating a scrapbook we pass on to our family members to being the lead actor in a movie.

When we pass buildings or sites named after individuals, we might dismiss it as meaning they donated money so their names would live on. That might well be the case. However, my perspective on that broadened after learning about an oddly named theory: Terror Management Theory.

I suppose some of you considered stopping reading about it now. Theories elicit some unpleasant memories about exams, papers, and deadlines for some. For others, it is hard to imagine how a theory can offer a real-life perspective. If you ever think about the legacy you will leave behind, you might find this theory different.

In the following paragraphs, I try to explain why the theory left a lasting impression on me, and how it can help you recognize the simple and complex things we do as humans when confronted with our inevitable deaths.

The Theory Behind Our Thoughts

While in graduate school, I took a social psychology class as an elective. I found myself in over my head with some topics. With other topics, I wanted to learn more about how they could be applied to my practice as a Recreational Therapist. One topic, Terror Management Theory moved my thinking beyond how it would serve my practice to how it would serve me.

Terror Management Theory is about the worry we experience when facing our mortality. It is a psychological framework that explores how we cope with the awareness of our own mortality. It highlights how our thoughts and behaviors are motivated by the need to manage the anxiety and existential terror that arise from the inevitability of death.

As I delved deeper into the literature, I learned that the theory is grounded in the idea that the human experience is the same for all. Studies examining how cultural beliefs, religious practices, and self-esteem function as defense mechanisms against the terror of death fascinated me. The theory shed light on individual behavior and offered insights into societal dynamics and larger systems.

Something more profound happened, though, when the class discussed and debated Terror Management Theory on a more personal level. Aside from seeing how it might apply to people who receive various mental health services, it left us all grappling with how we want to be perceived while we are alive and after we are gone. These discussions were, at times, uncomfortable, but at all times, powerful.

Ron McKenney Park: An Illustration of the Theory in Action

While alone processing the discussion, I thought about how my Dad, a local politician, made it clear he did not want anything named after him while he was alive, implying that it was more important that it occurred after his death.

Not long after he died, that happened; a park at the entrance to the city was named after him. Seeing his name on signs has been a source of pride for family and friends for twenty years. Even his great-grandchildren, whom he never met, look proudly at the signs.

I believe my Dad knew this would happen, and it was important to him. I am sure it left him with the peace of knowing that his legacy would live on the way he wanted it to live on.

Further Reflection

I began reflecting on how our awareness of mortality influences our decisions, values, and beliefs. I realized that many of my actions were driven by an unconscious desire to mitigate the anxiety caused by the inevitability of death. From seeking meaningful relationships to pursuing personal goals, everything seemed to align with the basic tenets of Terror Management Theory.

This newfound understanding profoundly impacted my perspective on life. It made me question the motivations behind my choices and examine the underlying fears that drove them. Moreover, it opened up a world of exploration into existential questions that generally lived in my subconscious.

I started to more honestly question many of my choices; choices about how I use my time and with whom I spend my time. More importantly, it made me think more deeply about what I choose to say and the actions I choose to take. I started to reflect more on how it is often those words and behaviors that people remember.

Discovering and connecting with Terror Management Theory during my social psychology class was a turning point in my intellectual and personal growth. However, beyond the academic realm, Terror Management Theory can spark discussions among friends.

The idea behind it pulls on us all. It can lead to philosophical debates about the meaning of life and how we grapple with our mortality. These conversations foster deeper connections, as we share our fears, hopes, and anxieties surrounding the ultimate unknown.

If we understand the meaning of the theory, it might push us to delve deeper into what it means to be human. It can further our ability to confront the inherent anxieties we all face. By understanding and acknowledging the role of mortality in shaping our lives, we can better appreciate the fragility and preciousness of every moment we have.

Conclusion

The significance of Terror Management Theory extends beyond its initial premise. It offers a unique perspective, allowing us to reevaluate our values and priorities. By challenging us to confront our fears and motivations, the theory helps us find meaning amidst life's uncertainties. Furthermore, it prompts us to consider our legacies, providing a framework to both plan for and come to terms with the inevitability of our mortality.