'Living with Autism'

It’s Autism awareness week 28th March - 3rd April 2022

I’m a vocal advocate for inclusion, with ASD being something close to my heart due to my youngest son having Autism

Understanding autism

Autism is a lifelong disability which affects how people communicate and interact with the world. There are approximately 700,000 autistic adults and children in the UK.

Autistic people:

• need more time to process questions, requests and instructions
• may struggle meeting new people
• may struggle to pick up on unwritten rules
• may find office environments overwhelming
• may struggle with small talk and workplace relationships

Autistic strengths:

• intense focus
• attention to detail considered and reflective approach
• honesty and integrity
• creative thinking

My reason for raising awareness is in hope that through helping people understand Autism, that they can be more accepting, more accommodating and more inclusive of people with autism or indeed people with difference

My ask is that we all help create a society where we are human first, kind to others and inclusive of all. We don’t have to like people. We don’t have to share cultures & beliefs. We can absolutely choose to be kind and inclusive. We can choose to understand and accept. We can ensure nobody feels excluded and disadvantaged

A little about my son and how I see his experiences & feelings

Last year I wrote how he struggled with school. Struggled with his anxiety. Struggled to feel included. And struggle with controlling his emotions, sometimes becoming aggressive

I’m pleased and proud to share Ethan has come on a long, long way on his journey. He recognises his anxiety and through exercise (in our home gym or playing football). He was recognised by Breaking Barriers North West for overcoming anxiety through exercise. For me it’s much more than that. He’s grown and developed the skills through his experiences (a lot of them hard) and decided he wants to feel better. I’m super proud of what he has set out and achieved all by himself!

He still has his moments. Situations occur where we (my wife and I) haven’t been able to control or shape a situation in a way we know helps Ethan. Situations where he simply can’t process what has or is happening. To a neurotypical person these situations could seem trivial. For example when we had the heavy rain, football games would be cancelled, sometimes on the morning of the game. Ethan couldn’t process this in the same way and the situation (being told he would no longer be playing a game he’d been looking forwards to), would cause him to have a meltdown. A meltdown to ethan is lots of shouting, swearing, punching himself, banging his head on a wall & being upset. As parents this is the worst feeling in the world. Your child is upset and you cant reason. Can’t soothe. Can’t take it away. We simply have to be present, wait for him to process it and support him. We tell him we love him. We offer support. But it’s heart breaking to see him in this pain.

Thankfully my wife and I, along with our other two children have become sort of experts with how to manage situations, in order to avoid a situation that we know Ethan will struggle with. Huge shout out to my Daughter Gracie who at 9 years old is effectively a young carer for her older brother. She gets her own time & space, as well as support and recognition. However sometimes she has to take back seat whilst Ethan’s need are met. Not ideal. Certainly not what any of us want but completely necessary. My eldest son Mikey is amazing with Ethan. He’s come to understand that his little brother needs him at times & that he can’t treat him like he probably would a “normal” brother. He’s let’s him win at wrestling. He takes him outside to play football. He plays with him on Xbox. Given he’s 18 he’s a fine example of how young people should be.

Hopefully this insight helps you understand what it’s like and helps you be more inclusive. Obviously my focus here is raising awareness around autism but reality is the same inclusiveness and the same acceptance should include ALL

How to help (autistic) colleagues:

• give clear instructions and put important points in writing for clarification
• don't rely on body language or facial expressions to communicate
• give anxious or agitated colleagues space and time to recover
• offer to be a buddy for workplace social event

Thank you for reading and hope you take away something.

Please check out https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/raise-money/world-autism-acceptance-week-2022