Living with ADHD: How to Stay Focused When Distractions Take Over

Why It’s So Hard to Do Two Things at Once: Navigating Life with ADHD

Picture this: I’m sitting here, watching NCIS, a show I enjoy. Then my phone alerts—a notification. Instinctively, I reach for it. I’m still interested in NCIS, but my attention has already shifted. That notification reminds me of a game I love. Now I’m toggling between watching the show, checking my phone, and trying to enjoy the game. Where am I? What should I be doing? I’m not fully here or there, just caught in the space between.

For the next 45 minutes, this dance will continue. I hate it, but this is ADHD life. It feels like I’m juggling multiple things at once—watching a show, checking my phone, and engaging with the game. Yet, in reality, I’m not doing any of them fully. Despite appearing like I’m multitasking, the truth is that I’m doing none of these activities with complete focus. ADHD makes it difficult to split attention between multiple tasks, even though my brain constantly seeks stimulation.

Why This Happens

With ADHD, the brain craves novelty and stimulation. It’s why, when the phone alerts, I immediately shift my attention. That sound triggers a burst of dopamine, the brain’s feel-good chemical, and my brain chases that reward. The challenge is that while I want to stay engaged in the show, the phone offers an immediate hit of something new and exciting.

The problem lies in the ADHD brain’s difficulty with executive function—the part of the brain responsible for planning, decision-making, and prioritisation. In a neurotypical brain, there’s a clear process of focusing on one thing at a time, filtering out distractions. But with ADHD, distractions are like loud neon signs—impossible to ignore. This makes it hard to resist jumping from one task to the next.

How This Impacts Life

This scattered attention doesn’t just affect how I watch TV. It impacts many areas of life:

1. Work: Trying to focus on a task at work, only to get sidetracked by an email, a text, or even a random thought, means projects take longer than they should. It’s frustrating, knowing I have the capability but not the focus.
2. Relationships: When I’m having a conversation, I might get distracted midway through, losing track of what the other person is saying. It’s not that I’m not interested; it’s that my attention has drifted, and it can seem like I’m not present.
3. Daily Routines: Even simple tasks like cooking or cleaning can become disjointed. I might start cooking dinner, get distracted by a notification, and forget about the meal, only to return to a burnt pan.
4. Mental Exhaustion: Constantly shifting focus is draining. It’s like trying to switch between different TV channels every minute—you don’t get to settle into anything, and by the end, you’re mentally exhausted without having truly engaged with any one thing.

Why Multitasking Doesn’t Work

Although I seem to be doing multiple things—watching a show, checking my phone, and playing a game—I’m not really “multitasking.” The human brain, especially with ADHD, can’t focus on more than one cognitively demanding task at a time. What I’m actually doing is task-switching—rapidly moving my focus from one thing to another. And each time I switch, there’s a lag. This lag means I lose information from the show, I’m not fully immersed in the game, and I’m not fully processing the text I just read.

So, while it feels like I’m doing three things at once, I’m actually doing none of them fully, and that leaves me feeling unsatisfied and frustrated.

What Does This Say About My Behaviour?

According to the DISA model, I identify as a "Yellow," which typically represents someone who is enthusiastic, sociable, and driven by interaction and new experiences. Yellows thrive on activity, love engaging with others, and get bored easily when situations lack stimulation. This ties directly into my ADHD experience, where my brain constantly craves novelty. Every time the phone alerts, I’m seeking something fresh and engaging, even if I’m already invested in another activity, like watching TV.

However, my scattered attention doesn’t fully reflect the true core of who I am as a Yellow. Normally, a Yellow individual enjoys spontaneity and variety, but it’s also about quality of engagement—being fully present in social situations and experiences. ADHD, on the other hand, keeps me bouncing between distractions, limiting the depth of my engagement. Instead of embracing the freedom and sociability of being Yellow, I’m constantly fighting with myself, unable to focus on the moment or the interaction fully.

Does This Reflect My True Yellow?

In a sense, yes. My ADHD tendencies amplify certain aspects of my Yellow behaviour—impulsiveness, a desire for stimulation, and a preference for variety. But it also hinders the more fulfilling aspects of being Yellow. Ideally, as a Yellow, I would be enjoying the experience of the show, immersing myself in the game, or engaging in meaningful conversations, one thing at a time. Instead, my brain drags me away before I’ve fully savoured any of it.

ADHD distorts my natural Yellow traits, turning my love of variety into a scattered, restless existence. My ability to thrive on connections is often disrupted by my lack of focus, and this creates a cycle of frustration and self-doubt. So, while I might seem like a true Yellow in some aspects, I feel like I’m constantly being held back from fully embracing the positive sides of my personality because I can’t truly focus on or appreciate any single experience in the way I’d like.

Living with It

I know that for the next 45 minutes, I’ll be in this loop, going back and forth between the TV, phone, and game. It’s a part of how my ADHD brain works. I hate it, but I also recognise it’s part of my life. The challenge is finding ways to minimise the impact—whether that’s turning off notifications during the show or giving myself designated time to focus on just one thing.

Living with ADHD means constantly managing distractions and understanding my brain’s limitations. It’s not about doing multiple things at once but finding ways to focus on what matters most in that moment. And while I can’t change how my brain works, I can find strategies to work with it, not against it, and perhaps then fully experience and enjoy the Yellow that I am.