Lives Remembered

Hearing on the news that the number of Covid-19 related deaths has now surpassed 50,000 is a dreadful milestone in what has been a truly dreadful year. As I reflected on this news I was thinking of the 50,000 families who have lost a loved one and the many hundreds of thousands of people who have lost a friend.

The grief and sadness felt by so many people made me think of a quote by Dr Colin Murray Parkes, a psychiatrist who worked at St. Christopher’s Hospice in London, and a pioneer in the field of bereavement:

“The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love: it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared for the losses that will inevitably occur in our own lives and unprepared to help others cope with losses in theirs”.

A big part of the grieving process is saying goodbye at a funeral, memorial service or life celebration, and very cruelly this for many people has been made incredibly difficult. A restriction on numbers, not being able to sing or hug, having to wear masks and having to socially distance has intensified people’s grief and sadness.

At Sobell House, we have faced many challenging situations this year and those challenges continue. An important event in our calender is our Lights of Love service, which takes place on the first Saturday in December. Traditionally, it’s been an opportunity for members of our community to gather at the hospice for a service of remembrance, where we play music, listen to readings and have moments of reflection. We think about those we have loved and lost and people share their grief with others. But we also celebrate the very special place people have had in our lives.

This will be the fourth Lights of Love service I have been to since I started working at Sobell House, and they have all been incredibly moving. It will be no surprise to learn that this year’s gathering will be a virtual one, where people can watch the service online. Prior to the service we are sending out a programme, a candle and a few little goodies to all those attending. We believe passionately that even though we can’t be together this year, it will still be very meaningful for those who attend. More than ever, this year we want the service to be for everyone who mourns a loss; no matter whether or not their loved one or friend has been cared for by Sobell House Hospice. 

During our Lights of Love service a performance of the song ‘We Will Always Remember You’ will take place. This song was written by a bereaved mother, Jane Coutanche, about 16 years ago. Jane had never written a song before but worked with our Music Therapist and found the words.

We Will Always Remember You – Jane Coutanche

We will not forget as time goes by

Though we don't always find the time to cry

We know that you've gone and yes, we're moving on

But we all miss you still and wonder why

Chorus:

We will always remember you

We keep the memories of love for you

We will always remember you     

We'll keep your smile 

Safe in our hearts

Forever

In photographs your smile still makes my day

The memories that we have won't go away

We talk about you still, I'm sure we always will

I wish that you could hear the words we say

Lights of Love is a truly special event, and you are warmly invited to join us on Saturday 5th December. Please visit our website to register www.sobellhouse.org.

If you own or work for a local business and would like to sponsor this event and be a part of something special, please do get in touch with me on 07527849748 or email [email protected] – I would love to hear from you.