Live your L.A.R.G.E.S.T. life
Jill Hinton Wolfe
Veterans will save America. Women will save the outdoors. Dogs will save us all.
Most of us want to stop wasting our time and start reaching our goals. But how exactly are we supposed to do that?
I’ve been asking myself that question my entire adult life. It’s why I joined the Army. It’s why I started businesses. It’s why I read nonfiction books like some people eat chocolate.
To find the answers to these questions, I researched leading scientists who gathered and studied actual psychological data, then applied rigorous methods to analyze that data.
And after several years of searching, lo and behold, I finally found what I was looking for.
Dr. Carol Ryff is a social psychologist?at the University of Wisconsin who runs the Institute on Aging. She’s created?a framework of well-being?that I find incredibly compelling, and believe it applies especially well to veterans. It also happens to be one of the more rigorously tested frameworks out there.
Well-being is something that applies to every human being, but Ryff’s framework seems especially apt when it comes to the unique experiences of veterans.
For your reference, here’s Ryff’s six-element framework that covers the wide spectrum of well-being (along with the psychological foundations of each element):
After studying her framework, I then created my own framework. I did this by taking Ryff’s six elements, renaming some of them, and adding a seventh element, Transcendence.
Conveniently, they formed a memorable acronym, and thus the L.A.R.G.E.S.T. framework was born:
These seven pillar concepts form the outline of the book I’m writing, tentatively titled?“The Art of Being A Veteran: How to Build a Life of Meaning and Purpose After Service.”
I touched on parts of them in my?TED Talk?(which also gives you further background on my military experience, if you’re so interested).
I also recently wrote about them in a post about?7 nonfiction books that you can read this summer?to help you do a deep dive into each element, and then start to implement them in your own life.
However, today’s post is simply a general overview of the entire framework, so I won’t spend too much time on each one. But look for future posts that take a deeper dive!
Here’s the L.A.R.G.E.S.T. framework, and definitions of each pillar…
Life purpose
This includes having goals in life and a sense of directedness; feeling there is meaning to your present and past life; holding beliefs that give life purpose (i.e. service, creativity, challenge); and having aims and objectives for living.
Awareness (particularly, self-awareness)
This means the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards (Duvall & Wickland, 1972). Self-awareness means you’re able to objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values and understand correctly how others perceive you.
Relationships
When you have healthy social connections, you have warm, satisfying, trusting relationships with others. You’re concerned about the welfare of others and capable of strong empathy, affection, and intimacy. People who are good at connecting with others understand the give and take of human relationships.
Growth
Growth is an interesting element. A key element of growth is struggle; we can’t grow without adversity. And in order to triumph over our challenges, we have to be resilient. So growth, struggle and resilience are all intricately interwoven.
Environmental mastery
Environmental mastery involves creating a sense of control and mastery over one's environment, something that many veterans struggle with, despite the sense of discipline many of us learned in the military. I like to think that EM is really about taking action: how we get over ourselves and move into “the real world”. In order to master our environments, first there needs to be a mental change, and then a physical change.
Self-compassion
Although this pillar comes near the end, I believe it’s the most important one. Self-compassion is the Bradley Fighting Vehicle we need to maneuver through tough times. It holds space and gives us the protection we need to accomplish our goals. In more textbook terms, self-compassion is a psychological concept that refers to a way of treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and care, especially in difficult or challenging situations.
Transcendence
Transcendence is the element that Dryff does not include in her framework, but that I believe is critical for living a good life. It’s a psychological concept that refers to the experience of transcending one's normal state of awareness or reality and feeling a sense of connection with something greater than oneself. It’s also known as “awe.”
We experience transcendence when we move beyond the limitations of the self and experience a sense of unity and oneness with others, the natural world, or a higher power.
Together these seven pillars create a framework that can help us get clear on our goals, push past our challenges, and build a life that feels meaningful.
I can’t wait to explore them each with you — they have really changed how I show up in the world, and how I measure myself and my accomplishments.