Live Your Best Life Possible

Three years ago my life looked very different. I was doing work that was more aligned to my weaknesses than my strengths. I was exhausted, irritable and not sleeping well. I was experiencing a range of symptoms that I now recognize as part of my autoimmune disease I developed from stress. I thought exercise was a stress buster so I was pushing my body beyond exhaustion by doing ultra marathons in this condition. My relationships were unhappy. I felt unsupported, unloved and misunderstood. I wasn't taking care of myself or speaking up for my own needs. I wasn't functioning well at all: at work or at home.

I thought it was a phase and I told myself that it could all be fixed with some healthy motivation and some big scary goals. I was wrong.

Wake up, your life is broken

When I look back I wish I could shake the me from that time and say something like "Wake up before you make yourself really sick!" I wish I had some kind of revelation that helped me to avoid becoming so ill that I couldn't work for over two years. I wish someone had told me that success follows happiness, not the other way around. But that was not in my best interests. I needed to hit rock bottom. I needed a full and complete burnout to understand that my life was broken.

What I really needed was to give up. To give up on people-pleasing and doing things out of obligation to others. To my shareholders, my father, my husband, my clients, my staff. To give up on a career and a job that was not aligned to my strengths and talents. To give up on pushing myself beyond breaking point. I needed to find work that was enjoyable and aligned to my strengths. I needed to fix my relationships, to get my needs met and to spend time with those who love and support me. I needed to rest and to recover before I could figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

These realizations didn't come suddenly or clearly in an organised fashion. I had small moments of clarity where I realized that I needed to be in flow, to have work that completely absorbed my attention to the point where I didn't want to stop. Most of the time I just pottered around waiting to get better, with increasing levels of frustration. I focused on things like creativity to allow my brain to rest and recover from being so frazzled by stress. I forced myself to take afternoon naps and to learn to meditate. I read about 30 books on positive psychology, or the science of happiness, to figure out how to fix my life. I applied the strategies in a really haphazard and disorganized way.

Finding flow

I realized eventually that writing brings me flow and a lot of joy. It energized me when everything else drained me. I started a blog and used it to practice my writing. I started writing a book and revised it many times over. I used the writing as a catharsis: a way to release these feelings of confusion over what happened to me. It was through writing that I analysed and understood how I burned out. And in the process, I found my passion.

When I look at my life now, I don't think it's possible for me to be happier. The ticker tape thought running through my head this week has been "I'm so happy". I know it might just be a temporary thing, hedonic adaptation at play where we experience short term happiness that eventually stabilizes and becomes the norm. You see, I've recently published my first book, Avoiding Burnout: The Seven Principles of Self-Preservation. I am overjoyed about it being complete and out in the world. Even though I know this happiness will dissipate, I've decided to simply soak up the joy for the moment. I want to revel in the success of achieving a life long dream that I put aside for too long.

From recovery to creation

My career has slowly taken shape over the past two and a half years. At some point the recovery started to merge into creating things and that became my new job. I am now an author, speaker and I am working on workshops, a deck of cards and a few other ideas for a new book. I work at home in a place I call my Sanctuary. I exercise and eat well and I speak up to make my needs known. I take care of myself. I love my work environment where I can see the trees from my window and more importantly, I love the work itself.

I'm also constantly learning. Publishing the book was a new experience and now I'm learning about how to market my book. I am stretching myself in new areas and am finding it fun and rewarding. Some parts are hard but it doesn't feel like torture. It doesn't feel like it felt three years ago. Considering my illness was characterized by chronic fatigue, I feel so energized and excited by my new role. That's how I know I'm on the right path.

Three years ago I would never have dreamed that I would be doing what I'm doing now. I didn't think it was possible to live a life this happy or to do work that was energizing. I feel like the luckiest person on the planet. I have a wonderful husband and two amazing little daughters who I adore. I'm able to be a better parent because I'm happy within myself and I have the patience to really listen to my children. I spend time with people who genuinely care about me. And I am doing my dream job.

Getting to this point hasn't been easy but every action I took was guided by the fact that I want to live a happy life. I fought for my happiness. I created this new job out of knowing myself, my strengths and talents and by believing in myself. Right now I'm soaking it all up. I'm rolling around in the joy of having everything I've ever wanted.

Why the suffering?

At times I wondered why I needed to go through the years of suffering on my way towards burnout, running a business I didn't love. I questioned whether that was a waste of several years of my life. The same thought occurred to me during recovery. How can I spend years in recovery and still keep my sanity? It wasn't easy for a person like me to hang around waiting to get better, with no personal or professional goals. My main focus was getting well and that's a pretty boring goal.

Now, as I start my new career, I'm feeling so grateful for those years of running a business. All the learnings are flooding back to me and it's clear that I gained a lot from the experience. I can use the skills and knowledge I accumulated during my time as a managing director and business owner. Except this time, I'm applying them to something that I love.

I want you to know that it's possible to live a happy life, and to really enjoy your work. It doesn't happen overnight but if I could transform my life on hardly any energy, so can you. The starting point is knowing yourself well and aligning your work with what you love doing. If this grabs you, read more about it in my book. If not, that's fine too.