Live Long and Prosper

Many years ago, I attended a conference at which internationally known poet, David Whyte was one of the speakers. He concluded his remarks by reading his poem, Sweet Darkness. The last line hit me and has stayed with me all these years.

“Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.”

It was a call to action not just to prod me from a comfortable status quo in which I wasn’t being brought alive by certain people, but a powerful reminder that I needed to take an honest accounting as to whether I was “too small” for others and not helping to bring them alive. I had some work to do on both sides of the equation.

We all deserve to be brought alive by our experience and by those around us. As leaders it is your responsibility to bring others alive. In my work and in all my books I repeat this message: to lead others well leaders must be conscious, connected, and concerned. In this way, we bring others alive.

Compassion in Action

The Dalai Lama of Tibet suggests that caring is compassion in action. Compassion is present when we acknowledge our connection with others. What we do is a better indicator of how caring we are than what we say. If you are a leader, people are watching you all the time. One of the things people watch is how we treat those with less power than us, particularly people in service jobs. How do you treat servers, baristas, cab drivers, front desk clerks, admins? Our behaviors with others tell the true story of how conscious, connected, and concerned we are.

As we head toward Thanksgiving here in the US, reminding ourselves of our responsibility to be conscious, connected, and concerned, to care for others and help to bring them alive isn’t a bad idea.

Being conscious is a daily practice and a life-long journey. The first step on the journey is reflection. Recollect the many people who have cared for you over the years and brought you alive. Spend some time remembering how these people have touched your life. Be grateful and offer thanks.

Practice, Practice, Practice.

I’d like to offer four possible actions that can help us all become more caring people and bring others alive.

·?????Practice Metta. Metta, or loving-kindness, is a Buddhist practice of projecting love to those we encounter. Metta can be done by yourself as you are meditating, praying, or sitting quietly each day, while you are walking, driving, or passing people in the street or colleagues in the hall. There are four phrases usually used to practice metta. Simply think one to yourself as you encounter others or make up one that works for you.

o??May you be free from danger.

o??May you have mental happiness. ?

o??May you have physical happiness.

o??May you have ease of well-being.

I really like this practice. I say it silently to myself as I pass people in the hallway, as I ride an elevator with someone, or at the start or end of a meeting. Sometimes I borrow Spock’s greeting, “May you live long and prosper.”

It is hard to keep hateful or negative thoughts toward a person and practice metta at the same time.?Through the practice of metta we expand our capacity to lead in a conscious, connected, and concerned way.

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·?????Find connection points. It’s hard to practice metta sometimes because some people really bug us. Think of that person who bugs you. What about this person bugs you? Think about this person and all the characteristics or habits that really bug you. Now strip them away one by one until you can imagine a connection with this person. Every time you see this person, try to relate to them at this level and not through all the things that bug you.

·?????Volunteer in your community. Find an organization whose work you support and give them some of your time. An hour each week or month. The amount is up to you. If you have children, volunteer to help out in your child’s class. I’m not just talking to the moms here, guys! Your child and your child’s teacher will be very appreciative.

·?????Practice gratitude. At every meeting I help design and facilitate, we end each day with expressions of gratitude. When we express gratitude, we demonstrate that we are conscious, connected, and concerned. Expressing gratitude is good for others. It brings people alive. It’s good for business. Expressing gratitude at work fosters stronger relationships enabling more cooperation and collaboration. Expressing gratitude is good for us. When we express gratitude, we elevate our mood. When we express gratitude and are on the receiving end, our brains release two crucial neurotransmitters responsible for our emotions - dopamine and serotonin, and we feel better. Our mood is instantly elevated when we express gratitude. We bring others alive. We bring ourselves alive.

Our capacity for caring must extend beyond the bottom line. We need to care about the people who work for us, with us, and around us. These people bring more than what they do to the corporate enterprise; they bring who they are. They deserve leaders who care about their lives and act to engage them in a way that leaves them with a sense of fulfillment in working to help the organization realize its goals. They deserve leaders who are conscious, connected, and concerned, who strive to bring them alive. So do you.

Development is a team sport.

I need visual cues to help me in my practice. Here’s the post-it I created to be a reminder to practice metta as I engage people throughout the day.

I’d love to hear about your experience of practicing metta ?or adding a new team ritual to close meetings with expressions of gratitude.

Please shoot me a message or leave a comment to let me know how you’re doing.

I love your feedback. I love to hear what’s going on with you and your teams. I am grateful for you.

May you be brought alive by your community.

May you bring others alive.

May you live long and prosper.

Cheers,

Greg

About Greg Giuliano

Dr. Greg Giuliano is an advisor and executive coach to senior executives and teams all over the world, designing change leadership and team development strategies to lead organizational transformation. His mission is to help leaders and teams grow their capacity to enable positive disruption for markets, organizations, teams, and individuals.

Greg is the author of the #1 Amazon Bestsellers, The Next Normal: Transform Your Leadership, Your Team, and Your Organization, and Ultra Leadership: Go Beyond Usual and Ordinary to Engage Others and Lead Real Change and The Hero’s Journey: Toward a More Authentic Leadership. When not out on a trail running or hiking, he can be found singing with jazz trios in Portland, Oregon.

Find and follow Greg here on LinkedIn, on twitter (@greggiuliano), and at www.greggiuliano.com and www.ultraleadership.com.