LIVE A LIFE DEFINED BY YOUR CHOICE

Mysterious, marvelous, mechanical, muddled, or mundane – we describe people’s lives in so many ways. In a world where things change before the blink of an eye, and choices made faster than the beat of the heart, how many of us in early half of our lives hit the pause button to really reflect on the lives we’re living and what we’re trying to gain from it? Some may argue that this could be a thought I revisit at a later point in time when life has perhaps given me more to experience. But that to me is taking life’s opportunities for granted. I must say, it took me a while to make this retrospective practice a habit, but it brought in a huge shift in perspective that ignited my desire to truly live life and live it well.

I kick-started 2020 with the resolution to take regular time off to reflect and pen down my ‘life lessons’, learn from what they have to teach me and work on them. It’s a discipline I can openly admit is something I thought was too ambitious for a regular exercise, but my first cycle of learning has inspired the me to press on. And by sharing these, I find the sense of personal accountability to continue this practice and explore what I may find within me that I had never discovered before.

I am not one to define my life by my career, but a large portion of my life has been spent at work and thus being the source of most of my life lessons as well as the birth place of my eureka moments. Some of the highlights of my learning are:

1. It’s your life - be the driver and not the passenger : When I look back and reflect on the choices I’ve made over the years, be it in career or in life, one thing that I feel proud about is that I have lived it on my own terms. Be it the decision to take up a global role that kept me on the road for several years or challenging myself to explore a stint outside of my comfortable HR role and into an unfamiliar sales organization. Every decision taken in this direction gave the adventure hungry traveler in me so much satisfaction. I didn’t follow someone else’s career choices but my own. But I didn’t do it all on my own, I always had role models, leaders and my personal cheerleaders to guide me along the way. They have been my source of strength and courage in rough times and were there to celebrate in my successes. What I’ve learnt is that life doesn’t hand you a compass and map to help you navigate the journey - it’s a dusty, untarred road that’s waiting to be explored head on. Of course, it’s wise to stop once every while to ask directions from mentors, coaches and trusted peers, but never let go of the steering wheel lest somebody else takes charge for you.
2. It’s not about taking the right decisions, but taking decisions and making them right : I very deeply resonate with this profound statement by Ratan Tata. Being the daughter of an Army officer, what I learnt from my father’s stories is when in situations where you are not given time to think & analyze before making your decisions, go by your gut feeling and stand by it. I’ve often applied this in my career decisions as well. More often than not as a leader, I had to make difficult calls without being given much time to think. Use all the data and insights you can get your hands on but trust your gut as well. Being only human, some decisions taken may not have turned out the way I wanted it to be – there are times where I saw success in those decisions but there were times when I failed. Yet, I strongly believe in standing by failure and pursuing to make it right again. Doing right by your decision may lead to making calls that are not easy and could make you unpopular, but it builds character. It empowers to influence and create more meaningful & purposeful relationships both in life and in the workplace.
3. A fresh start isn’t a place, it’s a mindset: Failure and missed chances often come with the promise of possibility – the possibility of a fresh start. Most people see a fresh start as a new job, or place or even a relation. To me, it’s a state of mind. You could be in the same place with the same job and the very same people surrounding you and still have your fresh start. As a leader, I can tell you that when I took on my new role as first time manager, it was not the most pleasant experience for both my team and me. There were a lot of things I had to learn along the way and much more to unlearn. Your toughest times often lead to the greatest victories in life and for me it meant to keep looking onward. I had to welcome life’s lesson and be willing to start from scratch every single morning. This has led to creating not just new experiences but strong, trusted relationships with my team that go beyond the workplace.

As a leader, when I share my experiences, I am open & honest in sharing my failures and not just the triumphs. When people look to me for advice and counsel, I always ask them not just to celebrate their achievements, but also nurture their often-overlooked traits of kindness, integrity, passion, grit & resilience. It is not just the happy, but the tough and trying experiences that build us into strong people. After all, these experiences are the ones that create lasting memories that build and sustain us. As I look back, I’m grateful to life and all its lessons and challenges. I know there’s plenty more experiences to encounter and learn from. Until then, I stay true to my motto – ‘live the way you want to be remembered’.