Live With Intent

Take responsibility for your life

For much of my formative years I found it easy to be Life’s victim and basked in the romantic sufferings of the heart. All the heroes I admired dared and loved greatly, lived roller-coaster lifestyles and endured great challenges. It was what made them so great, in my childhood eyes. So, naturally, I sought out my own great romantic love affairs, causing my emotions to soar and plummet and thus my life soon felt like a great challenge. This trend continued well into my 20s and peaked with a traumatic divorce and the cataclysmic events I experienced while fighting in Afghanistan. I allowed these experiences to define me to such an extent that it impeded my ability to be or become anything other than a bitter divorcee and a damaged war Veteran.

I kept asking myself why my divorce was so ridiculously traumatic and also why was it my unit that experienced the particularly brutal fighting of Helmand Province in the summer of 2008? I slowly began to understand that it all happened to me because I wanted it to happen to me. I had been welcoming this roller-coaster lifestyle since I was a child. I saw benefit and glory in it all, subconsciously, of course. For me, the benefit of suffering lay in the enduring of it. It appealed to my ego because I saw my ability to endure as my greatest quality. To endure suffering brought value to my existence and so, naturally, I continued to suffer.

But in more recent years, some quiet voice inside me began asking if there wasn’t more to Life than simply enduring it. The voice was soft but persistent and it soon triggered a period of honest and transformative self-reflection. It took great courage to look at myself so intensely and not shy away, making excuses, blaming others like I had for much of my life. Instead, I began to understand I was responsible for my life and all the decisions that went to form it.

And it was the act of taking responsibility that began to heal me of past heartache and suffering. Now, if a relationship was causing me pain, then it was my responsibility to investigate the cause of the pain and take action to stop it. No one forced me into the relationship in the first place. If a job was making me miserable, I realised I had accepted the job, no one forced me to work there and it was only me who could quit and find employment elsewhere. If I was malnourished through poor diet, no one else was feeding me, it was my responsibility to consume the proper food for my body and lifestyle. I realised there was no one to blame but myself and that forced me to act more consciously and continually ask myself if I was making the decision that most benefited my development and well-being. No one else was going to wake up in the morning and dedicate themselves to my well-being, it was and is my responsibility alone. It is a blessing to have such extraordinary power and this acceptance has changed my life wholly for the better.

So, perhaps the time has now come to stop making excuses, to stop blaming others, to stop being a victim and start taking responsibility for your life and your decisions. Your future is made up of all your present decisions, so you see, the future is your own creation. Create it on purpose. Don’t just allow life to happen to you. Set your intention and act accordingly. Direct your mind and energy where it is required – the fulfilment of your dreams and ambitions, healing, whatever you determine – and don’t waste it on the silly little things that can so easily distract us from achieving all that is really important to us.

Create your life on purpose. You are the Director of this movie, the singer of this song, the Captain of this ship. Set your course and set your sails!

Keith Abraham