LIVE Fully

Leadership, Inspiration, Vulnerability, Empathy

In my writings through this challenging time, I’ve attempted to highlight some of the positives associated with the current time. I’m not blind to, nor unaffected by the tension around us.

In my fourth year of university at Carleton University, I developed a friendship with the most influential educator and professor I have ever encountered, Dr. Steven Murphy, now the President at the Ontario Tech University. I remember every single one of my friends and family members making fun of me, because – for those who know me – the last class I was likely to attend was a Friday morning 8am class, especially given I lived about an hour away from campus.

I didn’t miss a single class. (Don’t fact check me if you’re reading this, Steven!)

Way back in 2008, Steven was talking about the type of stuff that was just barely making it into the mainstream. He spoke about an awakened leadership, and taught lessons that I have tried to keep with me ever since. His class notes are one of just two professors whose notes I kept from university. I had the great opportunity to witness first-hand his rise into administration, which allowed me the memory of a lifetime to receive my degree-in-hand from Steven himself, on-stage at convocation.

Steven leveraged what felt like unconventional vehicles to demonstrate high-quality leadership. For example, he used improv as a tool for leadership development. He taught us about transformational leadership. He taught us the difference between being a leader and being a boss. Most importantly, his lessons challenged leaders to connect With Humans, As Humans. WHAH!

Steven taught me that vulnerability is a leadership trait not easily beaten by any other conventional leadership trait. He taught me that empathy and vulnerability amplify all other leadership traits in a way that no other trait does.

My first professional manager, Debbie Stewart, now a senior level executive in the Government of Canada, showed me these lessons in practical terms, and in near real-time. As I diagrammed for her my vision of becoming an entrepreneur and a business leader, she shared with me the journey her family had been on in their own rise in entrepreneurship and the public service. Her rawness and willingness to share a not-always-pleasant personal story allowed me to connect with her through a transitional time in my life, and eleven years later, she remains one of the most influential leaders with whom I’ve had the opportunity to work.

I have the opportunity to speak to leaders from all walks of life on a daily basis, and we share some of our stories and experiences as we lead our teams and organizations through this time. I like to think of myself as fairly even-keel and emotionally stable, but the reality is that I’m complex, as most of us are. The last three weeks of connecting with individuals and teams had been a bit exhausting at first, and led me to take a couple days for myself to disconnect and recharge. I highly encourage this for those who might be feeling a bit of extra burnout during this time, because as leaders, we need the pause to re-fuel for what is an extraordinary opportunity for us to grow in our leadership and to grow in our vulnerability and to grow in our empathy.

There is a magic bullet in this time. Right now, perhaps more than ever before - and perhaps never again - our ability to empathize with those around us will never be higher. Think about that for a second; you don’t have to ask someone how they’re doing through all of this. You already know the answer. Socially, you might continue to hear and respond with “great!” or “fine!”, but deep down, we all know there’s anxiety, fear, and trepidation in the hearts and minds of those we love, speak to, and work with.

While we all may be coping and reacting to this new time differently, we’re all experiencing some degree of isolation, a lack of physical touch (especially for those of us who live alone), and trepidation about the ambiguity and unknown around us. There’s uncertainty in the air and it’s an open invitation for people to connect, and for leaders to lead. I’m learning so much about my team members who are parents, and are finding whole new depths of patience and resolve as they cope and manage with the increased pressures and stresses of homeschooling with no notice. Or my team members that live alone, and are developing new commitments and habits around meditation, cooking, and physical fitness that they otherwise were spending on commutes, high-calorie happy hours, and other unhealthy activities.

At the top of this article, I discussed the lens I’ve been attempting to take through this time, focusing on action, while all the while acknowledging that the collective consciousness is grieving, is scared, and is worried. There is a certain unison in the way people are feeling and the challenges they are facing. This unison is present in our workplaces, in our social communities, and at the grocery store.

And because of that unison, it is easier than ever before to make yourself vulnerable. It is easier than ever to truly connect with those around you, including the people and communities you lead. Even if you are a perfect stoic, able to live through this uncertainty with next to no variability in your emotional health, you have an opportunity to become legendary in the eyes of your team members in this time by acknowledging those emotions, and transforming them into growth and action with and for your people. And on the other side of it, you’ll have a team more committed to their mission and vision than you could have ever imagined.