[Live Bigger] A very different type of Life Review

Each week I alternate between Leader Better and Living Bigger insights, this week...

[Live Bigger] A very different type of Life Review

Given a choice, we all probably would want to live a life fully expressed, right? To die knowing you’d lived a life true to yourself.

[Aside: The biggest regret from Bronnie Ware's 'Top Five Regrets of the Dying' is, in fact, not having had the courage to live a life true to myself, instead living the life others expected of me.]

Well, there’s a dimension of our lives that’s rarely discussed: our ‘Shadow’.

It’s anything that has been repressed into our personal unconscious – no longer in ‘the light’ of our awareness.

For example, if your mother says to you as a child, “I can’t handle your anger. Be quiet. Go to your room,” all that anger gets buried in your shadow/unconscious.

So what happens when you meet someone who makes you authentically angry and it deserves an angry response? This causes immense internal conflict. It can remain unexpressed and yet still impacts the decisions you make. ?

So this particular Life Review process (created by Connie Zweig) is one of looking back over each decade (or life chapters) and examining them with two lenses – what was lived out AND what was unlived (in the Shadow).

Examine the chapters of your life through two lenses: what was lived out AND what was unlived

The process is to recall the key events, people, gains/losses, births/deaths, turning points from each chapter, and then, as a result of each one, to examine what didn't happen.

Economists refer to this as the ‘Opportunity cost’ – the cost of the alternative not taken.

For example, let’s say you focused on spirituality in your 20s. As a result of that, you didn't make other choices. You didn't build a career early. You didn't have kids early. ?

Look at both what was expressed (Iived) and what was repressed (not lived), so you can begin to see the relationship between both your lived life and your unlived life.

As you can reflect on your unlived life, you can then choose whether there’s something there that needs to be expressed now. It may be an aspiration or a project.

Assess these through the lens of ‘Would I die with regret if I did not do this thing?’

By really tuning into yourself, you can re-establish what is (and?isn’t) important to act on.

Take a couple of hours to distil the wisdom from the life you’ve lived and learned from, plus more deeply clarify what meaningful contribution you have yet to make.

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Bruce speaks at conferences, runs leadership workshops, consults & coaches.

Enquire about working with Bruce:

? [email protected] ??or ? +64 21 548 900