Live Authentically: How I Escaped the Comparison Trap

It was a Friday afternoon when it hit me.

Sitting in a cosy café, sipping on my usual flat white, I watched people outside the window living their lives.

Some looked joyful, others hurried, and a few seemed lost in thought.

I wondered how many of them, like me, had felt weighed down by the invisible chains of comparison. That day, I promised myself: I would start letting go.

This weekend reflection isn’t just about my journey; it’s about sharing the lessons that helped me break free.

Each block represents a moment of growth, a lesson learned, and a step towards self-acceptance. My hope is that by the end, you’ll find your own path to freedom, too.

1??The Comparison Begins ??

Growing up, comparison wasn’t a bad thing.

My parents encouraged me to look at others to learn, to find role models, and to push myself to do better. I remember one incident clearly: during a school assembly, the principal highlighted a classmate’s academic achievements. As the applause echoed, I couldn’t help but feel small. Instead of celebrating his success, I wondered why I hadn’t achieved the same.

This became a pattern. Over time, the comparison shifted from inspiration to intimidation. I’d measure my achievements not by my own goals but against someone else’s milestones. It wasn’t until much later that I realised how much this mindset was holding me back. Comparison might spark growth, but unchecked, it stifles authenticity.

Lesson: Comparison starts with good intentions but often leads to self-doubt.

2??The Social Media Spiral ??

In my early days on LinkedIn and Facebook, I’d scroll endlessly.

Everyone seemed to be thriving: promotions, perfect families, incredible travels. It felt like I was peeking into a world where everyone had it together except me. One evening, I stumbled upon a post from a friend celebrating a new job at a prestigious company. Instead of being happy for her, I felt inadequate.

The turning point came when I heard a quote: “Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.” I realised I was seeing curated moments, not the full picture. From that moment, I started setting boundaries. I reduced my screen time and curated my feed to focus on content that inspired rather than discouraged me. Social media became less about comparison and more about connection.

Lesson: Social media is a highlight reel, not real life.

3??The Career Race ??

When I started my social enterprise, I was proud of the impact we were creating.

Yet, I constantly felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I’d compare our achievements to other organisations, wondering if I was lagging behind. I vividly remember attending a conference where another founder shared their success story. Their numbers were impressive, their accolades endless. I spent the entire evening questioning if I was cut out for this work.

One day, I asked myself, “Who am I really running this race for?” The answer wasn’t what I expected. I realised I had been chasing external validation rather than staying true to my mission. Realigning my purpose with my own values helped me regain clarity and reignite my passion.

Lesson: Running someone else’s race leaves you exhausted.

4??Small Wins Matter ??

I used to dismiss small achievements as insignificant.

If it wasn’t a grand milestone, it didn’t count. One day, while reflecting on a particularly challenging week, I realised how many small wins I had overlooked: a heartfelt email from a colleague, completing a difficult task, and even just showing up despite the challenges.

That’s when I decided to start a “small wins” journal. Each evening, I’d jot down three things I was proud of that day. Over time, this practice transformed my mindset. I began to see these small wins not as isolated events but as stepping stones to bigger successes.

Lesson: Progress is progress, no matter how small.

5??The Danger of Perfectionism ??

Perfectionism and comparison are close cousins.

I spent years trying to live up to an image of perfection that existed only in my mind. Every project had to be flawless, every outcome ideal. I remember working late nights, obsessing over the tiniest details, afraid that anything less than perfect would reflect poorly on me.

The breakthrough came during a team meeting. A colleague shared a project with minor flaws but with immense passion. It was well-received, flaws and all. That’s when it hit me: perfection isn’t the goal, progress is. I started embracing imperfection as part of being human. It’s okay to be a work in progress.

Lesson: Perfectionism fuels comparison and drains joy.

6??The Freedom of Boundaries ??

Saying “no” felt selfish at first.

I’d overcommit, trying to please everyone, and then resent myself for it. One memorable incident was agreeing to help organise an event despite my packed schedule. By the end of it, I was drained and frustrated.

I learned that setting boundaries wasn’t just about saying no to others; it was about saying yes to myself. I began prioritising tasks that aligned with my values and purpose. This shift gave me the space to focus on my own journey, free from the noise of external expectations.

Lesson: Boundaries protect your peace and your purpose.

7??Your Pace, Your Race ??♂?

I’ve always admired people who seem to have their lives perfectly planned.

A close friend, for instance, seemed to hit every life milestone right on time. Watching her, I felt like I was falling behind. But when I tried to match her pace, I felt burnt out.

Eventually, I realised that I could define my own pace. Slowing down didn’t mean failing; it meant living authentically. Now, I celebrate the journey as much as the destination. I’ve learned that life is less about keeping up and more about showing up.

Lesson: Life isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon.

8??Gratitude Over Comparison ??

Comparison often highlights what we don’t have.

Gratitude, on the other hand, reminds us of what we do. I started a simple habit: listing three things I’m grateful for each day. One of the most transformative moments came during a particularly tough period. Even in the midst of challenges, I found things to be grateful for: supportive friends, meaningful work, and small joys like a good cup of coffee.

This practice shifted my mindset from scarcity to abundance, and with it came a deeper sense of contentment.

Lesson: Gratitude shifts your focus from lack to abundance.

9??Embracing Vulnerability ??

For a long time, I avoided sharing my struggles, fearing judgment.

But a conversation with a mentor changed everything. I opened up about my challenges—burnout, self-doubt, and even comparison. To my surprise, instead of judgment, I received support and understanding.

Vulnerability became my superpower, not a weakness. I learned that when we embrace our humanity, we inspire others to do the same. Sharing my struggles not only lightened my load but also deepened my connections.

Lesson: Sharing your struggles builds connection and strength.

??Self-Acceptance is a Journey ??

Breaking free from the comparison trap isn’t about arriving at some final stage of enlightenment.

It’s about practising self-acceptance every day. Some days are easier than others, but each day brings an opportunity to choose kindness—towards myself and my journey.

One evening, while reflecting on the progress I’d made, I realised something profound: self-acceptance isn’t a linear path. It’s a winding road with ups and downs, but each step forward is worth it.

Lesson: Self-acceptance is not a destination; it’s a practice.

Final Thoughts

As I sit here writing this, I’m reminded of the café where this journey began.

The people outside the window—each on their own path, each with their own story. None of us are meant to walk the same road, and that’s what makes life beautiful.

If you find yourself caught in the comparison trap, take a breath. Remember: your story is yours alone, and it’s worth celebrating. The only person you need to compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. And as long as you’re growing, you’re winning.

Here’s to breaking free and embracing the freedom of self-acceptance.

#SelfAcceptance #PersonalGrowth #BreakFree #MentalWellness #OvercomingComparison #Inspiration #Authenticity #GrowthMindset #WellnessJourney #LifeLessons #SelfLove #SelfCompassion

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Eric Chuah is a content creator and social entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience across banking, product innovation, and social impact. Known for his reflective, thought-provoking writing, Eric inspires readers to embrace growth and authenticity. He is the founder of The Cookie Project, a successful social enterprise employing people with disabilities, and a Melbourne University alumnus passionate about creating just and inclusive societies.