A little about me

A little bit about me

My faith fuelled story…..well to be honest, I find this really strange writing the word faith because I used to be very anti faith/god etc. I didn’t understand it and I wasn’t willing to look into it either.?

?I remember when I was about 12/13 years old curled up in bed crying, feeling extremely frustrated and upset. I was questioning the meaning of life. What’s the point? Why am I here? Deep down, I knew there was a purpose but I didn’t know what that was and that was extremely frustrating.

?I felt like I didn’t fit in this world, being a bit of a loner and ultra shy, I found it difficult to speak to people. I couldn’t look people in the eye until several years ago and when I did speak, I spoke very quietly because I would get embarrassed if people heard me. I only allowed my true personality to come out, with people around me who I knew and was comfortable with.?

Anxiety and depression

In high school, I started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, these really helped me to tap into myself and this is where the journey started for me in self reflection and understanding myself ... .what triggered them, what was I thinking when these panic attacks came about. I learned to recognise what my thoughts were telling me and the reaction my body had to these thoughts and when I changed the story, my mind calmed and so did my body.

?At one point, the anxiety got so bad that I wouldn’t leave the house. I was too scared, catching the school bus was a big deal to me, I had to split it down into sections of achievement. I knew I had to get from home to school, so 1 section was home to the bus stop section 2, the bus to school, section 3, school to class…..safety. Until you are in class and that dreaded wave of panic comes over you for no apparent reason…..you just need to get back home.?

Change came when I had just had enough of living the way I was (or some would say hit rock bottom), so I decided I would go up to the garage to get some sweets. Now this was a big deal! It was a 20 minute walk there and back but I was determined to do it and I did! With plenty of self talk and reassurance, I got my sweets and walked back feeling very proud of myself.?

I also experienced panic attacks several years ago now, I remember waking in the night, Joel was fast asleep and I had a panic attack, the type I hadn’t had before, I was sick, cold with the shakes and a pain down my arm. It did enter my mind if I was having a heart attack but I was young and thought it couldn’t be that, I concentrated on talking to myself to calm myself down and found myself praying to god, please help me and take these feelings away and as soon as I had prayed, a warm and overwhelming sense of calm and peace come upon me, this was a very spiritual moment for me, I felt like there was a presence with me and I was being hugged, I had an overwhelming feeling of peace. I got back into bed and went straight to sleep.

Questioning my thoughts and tapping into my feelings around my thoughts are key in my life. Through studying the likes of Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer and Gabrielle Bernstien, I understand that our emotions are our guidance system! If it doesn’t feel good then I don’t do it, follow what feels good to you. Easier said than done? Sometimes but when you are clear in your values, it becomes a non decision - it just is.

Depression has also played a part in my life on several occasions. I love the explanation of depression by Jim Carey-

?”Your body needs to be depressed. It needs deep rest from the character that you've been trying to play.”

When I first read this it blew my mind! And then I thought back on when I was in a depressed state and questioned where my mind was then.?

I wanted to be myself but felt too scared and stuck, fear of judgement from others allowed me to hold myself back and the feeling of not being good enough. That is a huge one! Fear of not being good enough. Good enough wife, good enough mother, business woman, speaker and on and on and on! This leads onto where change really started……

There are times in life when you get to enough is enough, the pain of living the way you are now and staying there, is more frightening and painful than taking a step into the unknown of change, or safety.? I have experienced at least 3 times off the top of my head where I have hit this point and felt that there is no other choice but to take the route of the unknown. It is as though you have no other choice, your soul is calling to you for the change and you know it’s right because as soon as you have made a decision, a weight has been lifted off you. Is it easy?

?No, but is it worth it?.....Totally!??

A leap of faith

Joel had spent many unhappy years in his previous job, he had pent up anger and emotions that he wasn’t sharing and this turned into being medicated, and 6 months off work due to cluster migraines. This was no fun for any of us. We spoke about moving with his job and he had previously applied for roles in different sections of the company with no avail. A role came up in the quality department but it was a ￡15,000 pay cut. Yes it was a big pay cut but his mental health was more important and so we agreed he should go for it and we would work it out. He applied and got the role, he was much happier in this role and an online job also came up for him within the podcast sector, which made up for the drop in pay!??

Imagine if….

Imagine if….. These are magic words! Joel and I have created some mind blowing results from conversations starting with these words!?

Imagine if we travelled the world as a family, how would that work? Would we rent a property for between 1-3 months or stay in a hotel??

Well, we got to see what it would be like to do both of these. We got flooded and stayed in the Hilton hotel for 3 weeks - was very nice but we soon found it frustrating, we got fed up of having to go out for food all the time. We craved a home cooked meal and home comforts. We then stayed at a rental for 11 months while our house was being decorated, this was a lot better but still not ideal.?

We have had so many times where we have talked about, prayed and released it to the universe/god/source whatever you want to call it!

*Remember the time where I prayed to god for help because I felt stuck, frustrated with the house, so either wanted to sell or have the downstairs redecorated? We had no spare money to get this done so I gave it over to god/universe…….2 weeks later the river flooded and our entire downstairs of the house got renovated!

*Remember the time when we had our imagine if….conversation on what it would be like to travel the world and live in a rental or would we live in a hotel? And then because the house got flooded, we spent 3 weeks in the Hilton hotel and 11 months in a rental property while the house was getting done.

*Oh and remember the time when we were in the rental and Joel said he feels there is something coming and we had our imagine if…… conversation, that if redundancies came, those who wanted to stay, stayed and those who wanted to go could leave. Then redundancies came and Joel took voluntary redundancy. Then we had the conversation of imagine if you got ￡23,000 redundancy pay or even better! And Joel ended up accepting ￡28,000!

*Oh and remember the time when our house got flooded and we wanted to remodel where the kitchen was but the insurance wouldn’t cover it, then Joel took voluntary redundancy, which enabled us to pay for the remodelling!

*Remember the time when we put our house up for sale and our imagine if…. conversation was…..Imagine if we could sell for ￡180,000 or even better. And the house sold for ￡260,000!

*Remember the time where we felt stuck and had no plans or ideas where to go and then we had a call to check out a place where we spent 10/11 months renovating.

*Remember the time where we were on our way to the campsite, where we only had 3 days booked and nowhere else to go but then broke down and got towed to a pull-in opposite a campsite which was closed. So I rang them and they were super kind and let us stay for as long as we wanted.

We have so many of these stories since we sold the house too… Since selling the house, I must say life certainly hasn’t been boring!? ??

So we continue to live life in faith and trust that, as our moto is…..’Everything is always working out for me!’ and it is so true!

Ready to Amplify your life and fuel your faith?

Let's dive in, adventurers! ???? #NeverSettle #Faithbasedcoach #Shareyourstory #Daretodream

?