Little Habits - Big Change.

I’ve given up alcohol.?And Twitter.?For ever.?I had a bit of a purge at the beginning of 2023 and decided to let go of a few bad habits.?

Breaking Bad Habits

Giving up alcohol started off as a temporary thing.?Since 2014 I have given it up for 12 months every 3rd year, mainly because I’m not great at moderating my drinking, so I would refrain for a year to prove to myself that I can.?But this time it felt different.?This time it felt like I have managed to get my life to a point where I don’t need that glass of wine after a hard day at work, or to celebrate a good week at work, or enhance a night out with friends.

I have struggled to moderate my use of Twitter too.?Telling myself that I needed to scroll and post to promote my business and keep my professional profile high amongst my peers.?But when Twitter’s employment practices, security and data management started to feel like a compromise to my own values, I felt like it was time to leave.

To most people, giving up these two habits might seem insignificant.?But for me, these habits were bad ones and breaking them was part of a bigger decision to re-evaluate.

There were all kinds of reasons why I almost talked myself out giving up both:

·??????Fear of missing out and losing friends (Twitter)

·??????How would I cope with stress and decompress after difficult days? (alcohol)

·??????Losing touch with clients, and colleagues (Twitter)

·??????Judgement and hostility from friends who drink (alcohol)

·??????What if I fail? (both)

Out with the Old

What always interests me is other people’s reactions when I try to give up a bad habit.?Giving up alcohol has always elicited two different reactions.?Some people are supportive and encouraging, whilst others question my decision and try their best to get me to give in and join them in a drink. Some people stop inviting me out altogether.

Reactions to the Twitter situation have been remarkably similar.?Some people have not been in touch at all since I left the platform, whilst others have found alternative ways to stay connected.?

For both, I have had to justify my decisions in the face of some passionate opposition and judgement, and at the same time found encouragement in the most surprising places.

In with the New

Making a decision to give something up is one thing, but this time around I also decided to replace old habits with new ones.?Instead of scrolling on screen (I’ve cut down significantly on the time I spend on all other social media platforms too) I have rekindled my love of books and started reading again.?Instead of socialising in the pub I have followed up a life-long love of creative writing and spend one evening a week at Bournemouth Arts University on a creative writing course. Instead of maintaining virtual connections I regularly meet with a group of new friends to write, read and encourage each other. I’ve taken proactive steps to improve my mental and physical health too.

Bursting the Bubble

The thing about old habits is that they create a false sense of comfort and security.?Breaking them is hard because it feels like letting go of something important and familiar.?But that sense of comfort and familiarity can also be an unhelpful bubble, an echo chamber of values and ideas that, over time reinforce the old habits and perspectives.?It’s an ever-decreasing circle.?

I have been surprised at the amount of time my old habits stole from me. Since January I have found time to do lots of new things.?I have met people I would normally never encounter, some I have felt an instant affinity with, others have really challenged my patience and they have all made me question my perceptions.?I have stretched myself personally and professionally.?I have realised the extent to which I had insulated myself from the world outside my bubble.?

This is not an ‘either/or’ scenario by the way.?I haven’t given up everything from my pre-January life.?My business and pre-January 2023 interests, personal and professional relationships still thrive.?And I hope that the new things that I am learning will add even more value to my relationships with the people who have decided to stick with me beyond my old habits.

Giving up two, seemingly small activities has led to new behaviours, new environments, new friends, and new opportunities.?What started as an attempt to break two, seemingly insignificant habits has had a significant impact on me.?I didn’t expect that.?But I’m enjoying it.