This little girl didn't fit in.

Deep breath........................This little girl didn't fit in. She was born in the colorful world of Guyana and came to the, less that colorful UK when she was 7 years old.

She was one of the first mixed race families in a small seaside town.?

She was called 'Jungle bunny', 'Paki', 'Wog', 'Nigger' by her classmates and yes, some of her teachers. She felt included finally at the school disco as the kids put her in the middle and pointed when Boney MS 'Brown girl, in the ring' came on. That feeling didn't last long.?

She ran so fast, they made her run with the the oldest class so she couldn't win. When she did win. No one clapped.?

She had one friend, Christine, who stuck with her.?

There was trouble at home, so she learnt to 'feel into' her house, to see if it was safe to enter, just by putting her hand on the door. She learnt to pick up on shifts in emotion. She had to.?

There were no other family members around. She was not allowed in her Grandmothers house as her Step Grandfather said he didn't what "little niggers in his house".?

She learnt early on that her presence offended people. She did all she could to 'pull herself in' and not be noticed. It was hard to do, with brown skin, long limbs and crazy black frizzy hair.?

She was bullied at college, until one day something flipped in her and she turned on her main bully. She found a voice.?

She was told that she was "good for nothing" and she believed them.?

Her family imploded after her Father attacked her Mother with a knife in front of her. They ran away from him, She feared for her life and that of her Mother and two brothers.?

Her Mother descended into depression and alcoholism. She didn't know what to do. There was no one to turn to for help. She began to give up.?

And that was when she heard it. A male voice, from inside her head. It said one word. "Rudi".?

It nudged her out of her melancholy in that moment.?

She knew what the message meant. Rudi. She had to take care of Rudi! Her younger brother needed her! It gave her a reason to go forward.

From that day on, whenever she found herself in a corner, not knowing what to do next, the voice spoke a word or a sentence that moved her forward.?

The solutions it spoke were always way beyond her.?

She walked out of every hole, one guided step at a time.?

She was confused why family members weren't flourishing, weren't listening for guidance themselves.

She became a Registered Mental Health nurse in pursuit of an explanation for her experience and to learn how to ease suffering.?She was relieved to hear her clients tell stories of how their inner compass had lead them through recovery. And leaders who used insight and to make impactful decisions.

She has been a Mental health nurse, therapist, coach. New Zealand's first Recovery facilitator. A program Manager at the National Institute of Mental Health (England). She founded a social enterprise. She helped many talented leaders create cultures where people can thrive. She founded a movement. She is a good Mum, friend and an annoying wife.?

She no longer 'holds herself in' or feels that her presence contaminates a room. She has so much to offer and she does what she does because life is too precious, too short to not take risks in pursuit of what we love. For her its helping others experience an encounter with their own wisdom, so they can use it to guide them through life.

If she could say one thing to that little girl. It would be, "You are not alone. And you (all of you) are very necessary".?

#ThisLittleGirlIsMe

Why am I sharing my story you?

Because 70% of girls feel more confident about their futures after hearing from women role models. I’m honored to be part of the #thislittlegirlisme campaign initiated by Inspiring Girls International to mark International Day of the Girl 2021, 11th October.