Listening to Understand vs Listening to Reply

Listening to Understand vs Listening to Reply

Listening is a fundamental part of communication, but not all listening is created equal. There are two main types of listening: listening to understand and listening to reply.

Listening to understand is when you focus on what the other person is saying and try to see things from their perspective. You may ask questions to clarify anything you don't understand, and you may even repeat back what the other person has said to make sure you're on the same page.

Listening to reply is when you're more focused on what you're going to say next than on what the other person is saying. You may be thinking about how you're going to refute their point, or you may be thinking about what you're going to say to make yourself look good.

Listening to understand is more important than listening to reply for a number of reasons. First, it helps you to build stronger relationships. When you take the time to listen to someone, you're showing them that you value them and that you care about what they have to say. This can help to strengthen your relationships and make them more meaningful.

Second, listening to understand can help you to resolve conflict. When you're able to understand the other person's point of view, it's easier to find a solution that works for everyone involved.

Third, listening to understand can help you to learn new things. When you're open to hearing other people's ideas, you can expand your knowledge and perspective.

So, how do you listen to understand? Here are a few tips:

• Pay attention to the speaker's words and body language. What are they saying with their words, and what are they saying with their body?
• Ask questions to clarify anything you don't understand. This shows that you are listening and that you want to make sure you understand what the speaker is saying.
• Try to see things from the speaker's point of view. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why they are saying what they are saying.
• Respond in a way that shows you have been listening. This could mean summarising what the speaker has said, asking follow-up questions, or simply nodding your head in agreement.

Listening to understand is a skill that takes practice. But the more you do it, the better you will become at it. And the better you become at listening to understand, the stronger your relationships will be, the more conflicts you will be able to resolve, and the more you will learn.

Here are some additional tips for listening to understand:

• Be present. When you are listening to someone, put away your phone, turn off the TV, and focus on the person speaking.
• Be open-minded. Try not to judge the speaker or their ideas. Just listen with an open mind and try to understand where they are coming from.
• Be patient. It takes time to listen to someone and really understand what they are saying. Don't interrupt them or try to finish their sentences for them.
• Be respectful. Even if you don't agree with what the speaker is saying, be respectful of their right to their own opinion.

Listening to understand is a valuable skill that can help you in all areas of your life. By following these tips, you can become a better listener and build stronger relationships, resolve conflict, and learn new things.